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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think I already know this is not the greatest idea ever but...

101 replies

littlemeishere · 05/02/2012 12:45

Hello lovely Mumsnetters

As the title says I think I know I am being silly.

To cut a very long-winded story short, there is a man that has been in my life for 9 years now. Over the years we have been in a relationship on/off but it was always long-distance as we live in different countries (but less than an hour's flight away).

We broke up last year after being together a good while again. He went AWOL, commitmentphobe (he is late 40s and I am late 30s).

After last year I swore blind never again. He was very immature in the split, wouldn't take my calls. In time though I healed and moved on with my life. I am sociable and fun but have not met anyone I click with to the degree I always had with him (it was kind of the situation where my friends that saw us together loved seeing the chemistry and banter. We have the same sense of humour).

Over the years he has offered to help me financially when I have been in bd situations (I never accepted). He has taken me on lovely holidays when I was totally cash-strapped and had no way of treating myself to anything like that. I suppose I just love his company and he does have it in him to be a very good man.

Well, last year he put out feelers again. Nothing dramatic, just asked how I was was, happy birthday, christmas, the usual stuff. I liked that he still bothered and was always polite. I imagined his commiment-phobic noose had loosened somewhat.

Anyway, cutting this short as dont want to bore you, we have been in contact the last month every second day or so and he may be coming over to where I live for a weekend soon. the texting has escalated to flirting.

Thing is, I have not had sex in months and I crave it. lol

Seriously, I miss it but am not the sort to go out and be with a randomer. I have tried internet dating and not met anyone that I clicked with - and believe me it is not through trying. I live in a smallish town and believe me, there aren't a lot of opportunities for meeting new eligible fellas.

So what do do? I know if I met him I would have a fantastic weekend. It was always like that. I'd get all dressed up, we'd go for a lovely meal, have great sex and then he'd be gone.

Now, part of me is rightly thinking - er, he really hurt you, why offer it to him on a plate (and we both know nothing serious is going to come from it - I don't want to move to where he is and I doubt either of us are willing to do long-distance again).

The other part is saying, it will be a great weekend, you know that you will never be a couple again and that in fairness he is just incapable of committing to anyone (never married), so go and meet him, have a blast, get it out of your system.

I feel incredibly sexy when with him. There is a strong mutual attraction and I have felt down for a few months now about being single. A little ego boost would be good. No?

Sorry, this turned into a but of an essay... but I am just looking for opinions here and know I will get honest ones here by the bucketload :)

My friends are torn. SOme say no way (but they are in relationships) and then others are saying for God's sake you only live once, you know what it is and go and enjoy a brilliant weekend.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
littlemeishere · 25/03/2012 12:00

Thanks lucy

I just see how clearly that I was always there for him to fall back on - literally cringe!

I am worth far more and it is high time I realised that. Never agin is all I keep thinking. Never again will I be at his stupid beck and call because I didn't think I'd meet anyone else that would make me laugh as much.

Of course I will... and they won't be an asshole with it.

Let the good times roll ;)

OP posts:
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