DP wants to buy food seperately

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

Here's one of your posts from earlier this month:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1373467-breaking-a-cycle-of-arguing-any-tips

This man isn't going to change his ways.

You're on different pages and it's time to close the book on your relationship with him.

Send him back to the commune or on to another one, find a green fingered housemate to share the rent on your 'dream cottage', and start enjoying your life.

OP, I also noticed your comment to another poster on these boards

"get rid and make room for a good one"

take your own advice, love

This man does not want a girlfriend/partner. He wants somebody to house him, feed him, and do the cleaning, so that he can continue having a comfy life alongside you having all his domestic needs met.

You are a housekeeper.

Arguing over a jar of peanut butter, do people really do that!? Ridiculous.

Now if it was a jar of Marmite that's a completely different matter....

If you absolutely want to live with this man, I suggest you buy your own peanut butter, at least so you can say "From now on, I have my own peanut butter, you get your own tomatoes and dont eat mine"

"he is going to buy us a new fridge today (as he's just been paid) he said I can pay him for my half as and when but he is sick of our busted one."

Then he is NOT going to buy you both [us] a fridge, he is buying himself one and letting you have a half share in it when you come up with half the cash.

"Buying us a fridge" would be paying for the whole cost, not expecting you to chip in and seeing the fridge as a joint possession.

I would imagine he intends to rent half the fridge to you at market rates.

Why post about the fridge, OP? I assume you're trying to get your head together about what his behaviour today means in the context of earlier - and convince yourself he's not all bad because he 'found' 50 quid he had no intention of telling you about and is trying to shaft some Buddhists out of rent he owes them?

Im just trying to digest all of this, it's a lot, I can't beleive I'm coming across as this, door-mat with low self esteem, not how I see myself at all.
One decision I've made is to also apply to unis other than the ones in my home town,
then if I get accepted it will just be a clean break and I will also have time to make up my mind.
I hate to agree that this is probably not the kind of person I want to have kids with- it's a very sad, hard to swallow, realization and thanks for your kind posts.
He is now hiding from me, tends to do this when I confront him about something, I don't care anyway.
Right finished college for the day now Im off to work until nine one day all this
will pay off.

it won't pay off if you keep bankrolling this sad inadequate man

not for you, anyway

Communes and religious orders probably attract quite a few people like him, and it sounds like his ones got the measure of him.

People like him proclaim: "I don't care about money. I think all possessions should be shared."

What they mean is: "I do not intend to work very hard. I will keep my stuff for myself and take as much of yours as I can. If you complain I will say you are obsessed with money and unable to share. I however, am on a higher spiritual plane."

As the great guru Jilly Cooper once wrote "People who claim to not care about money never have any problem spending other people's."

If you said this guy was 19 and you were 22, dowdy and low self esteem, this whole thing would ring true. But a assertive, confident 27 year old woman couldn't possibly accept this 45yr old no mark...coul;d she?

So are you going to leave him or not?

Do you really think it is better to be with anyone rather than be single?

I don't get it. Why is it so hard to just end it?

Just ending a two year relationship isn't something i take lightly, this isn't a soap opera overmydeadbody, this is my life, this is a person who I have been sharing my life with for a while and I can't simply just end it just like that.

What BalloonSlayer said.

I'm from St. Jilly's town and she speaks with knowledge - it's renowned for its eco credentials, its own currency based on bartering, and a football manager who who has banned both team and spectators from eating meat in the grounds So far so lentil-weavy and that's not a problem, I love a bit of lentil weaving myself.

However I have never come across as many utter bastarding cocklodgers dressed up as "free spirits" as I did growing up there.

Run like the wind.

OP in the blonk of an eye you'll be married or pregnant and then you will really feel the weight of your poor decision....
Two years is really fuck all.

It's a 2 year relationship, no children, no vows.

I have shoes that I have had a longer and better relationship with.

You are not sharing his life, he is stealing yours.

And you can shove his cheezy arse out back to the Buddhists whenever you want to

I can't believe you're not running for the hills. This is a disaster of a relationship!

Have you asked your best friend what they honestly think of your dp?

Tell him to sit in his shiny new fridge and paddle it over Niagara fucking falls. No it's not a soap opera, yes you 'invested' 2 years of your precious life and you now have slot machine syndrome, unable to walk away because you hope he will come good on your investment. That's understandable.

The thing is, he won't. He'll go on being himself; he's not going to magically change People like him don't. So you either put up with him as he is, or you ship out. Or preferably get him to ship out, in his fridge.

He is a special kind of crazy RUN

Just read your previous thread that izzy linked to. Eggs were mentioned. He has an egg problem. He's not right in the head. So are you still cleaning up after him too?

So you're lonely, being treated like a housemaid, and expected to buy your own food, which HE then eats while you are out, so there is nothing left for your own meal?

He sounds lovely. Once you've ditched his sorry arse, can I have him?

I'll fight you for him, pictish

what a prnce among men he is (or thinks he is)

I wouldn't want to be around when he passes wind though < boak >

prince

Eggy farts are the absolute worst AF

40 eggs a week..it must be putrid