DP wants to buy food seperately

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

is this helping, OP ?

it can very difficult to start hear these things about the bloke you have thrown your lot in with...but rest assured, if we are thinking this...so are your friends and family

let's hope you catch up with everyone very soon

Definitely reminds me of student boyfriend who spent his monthly allowance from his parents on CDs at the start of the month and I then had to feed him for the rest of the month (I had a loan, he refused to get one).

If I didn't feed him he'd just eat white bread and butter in the last week of the month...ugh. I should've just let him eat that and cook my own food.

dickiedavisthunderthighs Are you talking about Stroud?
Or Totnes? (Although not sure if Totnes has a football team, too hilly!)

OP, if your sister or friend was with this guy, what advice would you want to give her?

Run for the hills OP

Just thinking again... as one does... if he's a lapsed monk, how come he owes the monastery money? Isn't owing money what happens when someone books a retreat and is expected to pay for their accommodation? So maybe he spent a long time there, but didn't necessarily belong to the order. Of course he could afford it because he hasn't actually got around to paying!

Or, maybe he was one but never quite got this rejoining the human race thing. But to be honest, I think a real ex-monk would be a lot more into sharing stuff rather than poncing stuff.

Eggs with peanut butter. Hmm, it could work I suppose.

Sorry.

I am 27, just like you.

I have a five year old, and have been on my own since pregnancy.

This is the final year of my undergraduate degree, and I am desperately trying to juggle essays, a dissertation, wrap-around and holiday childcare, applications/interviews, and running a household.

Despite all of that, your life sounds a lot harder than mine.

And it really shouldn't.

I'm not surprised this knobber picked a girl 20 years younger than him. The next girl (when the OP's come to her senses and set light to his eggy farts for him) will be younger, and the one after that, until he's just too old and eggbound to pull any more. He's an utter, utter loser OP. Best of luck moving on.

cutted Stroud :)

All those eggs must be awfully binding. I'm not surprised he has nether regions trouble.

One day or night op you will be on your death bed and think of the months and possibly years you wasted on this prat and you'll be pretty cross about it. Get out now.

Ah, the op is suffering from the Cheryl Cole fallacy (that is to say, the mindset of Fight for this love). Those two years are wasted op. you cannot redeem them by wasting yet more time on this specimen. Run very fast.

No, it's not a soap opera Blinking, but you are right, it's two years of your life, that you've already wasted for absolutely no gain whatsoever.

If you have any self respect you will end it, just like that, right now, rahter than dragging it out like it was some increadibly special thing you have lost.

By leaving him you will have lost nothing (apart form the two years you have already wasted and the countless miserable hours you have spent with him.

Seriously. Stop dithering.

And do either of you actually follow Buddhist philosophy and call yourselves Budhists? I don't know much about Buddhism but surely it doesn't advocate staying in bad relationships when you could be out finding enlightenment?

Just read your other thread. God, I feel sorry for you. Don't you how you can even entertain the idea of sticking with this man, he's vile to you!

This thread is

And it makes me want crumpets

I have just remembered something.
A friend (well, acquaintance really, we were never mates and he was a waster tbh) of mine went off to become a monk about 10 years ago. I was quite impressed at this turn of events and believed he'd got some spiritual enlightenment going on.

Then I bumped into him last winter and asked him about it. He just leered with a sideways grin (he has a slightly degenerate look about him) and told me that he's into it because he doesn't have to work. Or pay rent.

He is about the same age as me (I'm 46). Not sure what he's been doing for the last 2 years really, there was a younger lady with him but we didn't get introduced.

Just saying.

Right, so instead of benefit cheats it's these bloody monks we need to be looking at (of all denominations). Someone phone the government!

feckin' monks!

"Just ending a two year relationship isn't something i take lightly, this isn't a soap opera overmydeadbody,..."

So, why are you shouting out for help from this board then? If this problem is something that's not really that serious, then why are you suggesting that ending your "relationship" is something you don't take lightly? Pride can make for a very lonely bed-fellow.

Your boyfriend sounds like a leech.

Well Lemony OP thought she was posting about separate food. And suddenly has found out that many people think her relationship is the problem. It is a lot to process. Take your time, OP, but don't take too long!

thank you ThePinkPussycat !
I'm having a long over- due bit of (sorry for wanky phrase) 'me' time, last night and today, not angry any more, he is still hiding, having tried to talk to me last night, i think i have been so consumed by my expectations of him and then constantly being disapointed that it feels great to have space to do things that i love, like listening to music, sleep on my own and think about my future regardless of where his is taking him.
Again thank you so much for your help, I know for (most) of you, you've had to endure alot of mumbo- jumbo yourselves in order to give advice on these matters, I really appreciate it.

Good for you Gruff. Get your head together, think about yourself for a while and then decide where to go from there.
Did he come home with a new fridge BTW?

Hiya Gruffalo :)

I think the reason people are joining the 'ditch him! Ditch him!' gang is that they recognise themselves / someone close to them at that age, in that situation, and they see a young woman being taken advantage of and they feel angry. I do.

I was 27 when I dumped mine. He was 10 years older than me. So tight with money! He never got me a birthday card, as they were a waste of money. The one occasion (in 3 years) that he got me a present he didn't wrap it, as wrapping paper was a waste. Valentines day was commercial & a waste of money & therefore to be ignored, unless I wanted to get him something etc.

If I ever challenged him he would have mega sulks. He used his age as evidence of why he was the 'correct' one. I was always a silly girl. My views didn't count. I never won an argument (and there were many!) even when I was so obviously right.

I look back & am angry that I wasted so much time on this prick. So reading your post I just want to join the people yelling get out! But I know how hard it is - and it really is hard. He threatened to kill himself, turned all nice, couldn't live without me, who would take care of him etc. I felt responsible for him.

Anyway, toughest couple of weeks of my life and then.... free! Happy! 5 years down the line I am married to an ace bloke & we have a lively 2 year old :)

The prick, in case you're wondering, is still alive despite his threats, and is currently going out with someone younger than me. See there's a reason they choose young ones. He was the first bloke I lived with too. I see him for what he is now. I struggle to think of him without thinking the word 'cunt'. I think I see what your bloke is too, tho I've never met him, can't be sure.

You know tho. Just try and look at this, totally clearly. Step back & look at this person. And yourself. What are you trying to save here? The relationship? Or the nice house? Cos there'll be other houses.

Right. Excuse typos. Typing on phone & toddler hates it!

In the short term tho, don't give him any money for the fridge, or anything. And speak to real life people, you may need them soon x

When I was 26 I split up with a bloke I'd been with for years and was living with. It took 2 years though. Every time I tried to talk to him about it he looked sad and wandered off and nothing would happen In the end I had to really put my foot down and off he went. It took ages as he was a nice bloke and we got on pretty well but were living as friends not a couple IYSWIM.

Anyway, don't take as long as I did! And then when he went I had a great few years and then I met DH when I was in my early 30s and now everything is marvellous.

Your partner doesn't sound marvellous, he sounds rubbish, it is within your power to change things if you want. And I think you should mull it over, come to terms with it, then chuck him!

Forget buying food get a decent pair of running shoes and RUN