DP wants to buy food seperately

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

I was once in a relationship with a man who, like yours, was determined to show the world how 'unique' and different from everyone else he was, as if he was just far more special than all those 'normal' people. With the benefit of hindsight I have come to realise that he wasn't 'unique' at all, but fitted nicely into a sadly common group of men whose defining characteristic is that they consider themselves to be too special to abide by normal social rules such as kindness, and consideration for other people. They may appear to show these traits to the outside world, but only do so to project an image of how they would like to be perceived. When it comes to their close personal relationships the veneer slips and their egocentricity is revealed.

Go find yourself a man who doesn't consider himself above being ordinary and is happy to do normal things like work hard and properly share his life with you. I can guarantee that you will find someone who is genuinely more special and with greater spirit than this egg-bound man will ever be.

I'm intrigued - I know this is completely off the point - did you, or did you not, eat his peanut butter, and if so, why? (Expecting answer "because he'd eaten everything else in the house except the bread")

My exP and I shopped together but he insisted we had separate food cupboards
He also insisted we had separate towels...
He was a huge control freak on whom I wasted most of my late twenties & early thirties.
Send him back from whence he came!

Once you are not paying for his food your finances will improve

18 years older than you
Ex Monk (issues or what?)
Debt
No job
Obsessive about gym
Overly in to eggs
Mean
Bad in bed

Come on OP - throw him out!

Don't forget "morbidly obsessed with peanut butter".

Let us know your thoughts today OP, go on....

Annie there's a slight danger you're going the same way with the peanut butter

I think there's a MN consensus:

1. Kick the tosser out
2. Read some Marian Keyes.

Oh Gawd! This is dreadful! Gruffalo you must end this and enjoy your life - please! This has doom and misery written all over it.

He sounds odd. You sound lovely. Life's too short.

He sounds childish and immature. You won't be able to change him and he won't change.

I'll bet he can have really "deep" conversations and seems quite profound. He's not. He's a 45 year old child who fucked up his own career as he couldn't be arsed to work and can't share shopping.

You are young and intelligent. Run awaaaaaaaaaaay!

Just read Thistledew's post. She's hit the nail on the head.

Thistledew has indeed hit the nail on the head. My FIL is like this and the failure of his sons to realise this drives me potty.

His wife is miserable. Leave now.

Thinking about this a bit more - do you actually know that he was once a Buddhist monk? For someone who has supposedly studied it to that degree, he seems to be awfully attached to peanut butter and the contents of your food cupboard material things.

He must either have such an ego that he failed to learn any of the lessons of non-attachment, or he did learn them, but is failing to see you as a distinct individual who has the same right to say "don't raid my food" as he does.

Molasses Mon 30-Jan-12 21:49:45
Never go out with ex-monks who are obsessed with eggs and only have sex on their own terms. That is wisdom right there, that is.

I have reported your post. It is quote of the week material, in my honestly, subtle, sniggering opinion.

He sounds a right drag. Op just DTMFA.

what a fucking bore he sounds

a waste of oxygen

get rid of the pillock, your life will improve immeasureably

Last night I slept in the spare room (very comfortable it was too)

when I woke up I realised that I had misplaced my bank card and didn't have the fuel to get to college, not a great start to a long day at college, so I went into his bedside table and found that he had £50!

He wasn't in, (at gym) I rang him again and again to ask to borrow some eventually got through, he said, "yeah I'll be back soon, I've just been paid- the strange thing is, that he hadn't even remembered that he had some money in his drawer (I would never forget that I had £50 laying around esp. a day before pay day!)

I felt really grateful to him.

He noticed that I was distant with him when he got back, I was thanking him, he kept telling me he loved me and asked if I will love him for ever or just temporarily, (in a jokey way) I said probably just temporarily.

He said why did you sleep in the spare room, I said I am not happy with the current arrangement and nothing I do or say persuades you to even compromise with me about it, he said he was sorry but last night he was trying to get to sleep, I said "I'm not just referring to last night, though I don't appreciate being told to go away.

I then just drove off.

He was being quite sweet this morning, opening my car door for me and saying he is going to buy us a new fridge today (as he's just been paid) he said I can pay him for my half as and when but he is sick of our busted one.

I personally think we should go halves from the first instance when I can afford it but he is desperate for a new one, despite the fact he still owes rent to the Buddhist centre of £500

Oh this is all so impractical we have just moved into a lovely cottage with a huge garden and and allotment but these problems are so pervasive, I cant keep waiting for change.

Thanks again to everyone for your humour and wisdom, it's helpful very helpful.

ARE YOU INSANE?

Why are you still with him?

Serious question.

Err so a few kind words and your staying?

you are all over the place

"grateful" he lent you some money for petrol but accepting of his pathetic mingy-mindedness at other times

you are chatting away about fridges to us when it is clear to all on this thread you are wasting the best years of your life with a complete fuckwit

a lovely new fridge is the highlight of your life with this pillock ?

at 27yo ?

really ?

I hope you are tripled up on the contraception front, because I have an awful sense of inevitabilty about this scenario