The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

I drank a bottle of wine last night
Not good
Feel ok today though
It used to be over a bottle, sometimes two every night so there is an improvement
In the last week I've had two nights alcohol free
Small improvements
Hope everyone is ok

BOING!!!

NP - reading your posts is taking me back to my beginning! i feel every word you say, can remember the first few weeks of complete awe that i could feel so good, the horrible realisation of actually how bloody awful i had felt for years and the shame that i had caused so much misery! thank you so much for posting! you have no idea how much you have helped!

today im off to the gym, AA, sorting out my car (the heated seats have stopped working! dh says this is fine because he has never had any desire to cook his testicles, i however quite like them for my achy back, the heated seats that is, not dhs testicals! ) this evening im helping dd to customise her wedding dress (dont ask, its giving me palpitations!)

msgee - no words can describe!

MsGee sounds like you have a plan. Hope dd is better soon. Amazing how they bounce back isn't it. Oh the joys of parenthood. We're always the ones that end up feeling frazzled .

Trinity small changes will make big differences . I decided to cut right back or stop my drinking on 25 June last year. I started being able to do that on 8 January this year. We are all different. Some of us stop overnight and work hard at holding on to that sobriety every day. Some of us aren't ready to stop and need to work out how to control our drinking.

It takes a lot of trial and error to find out what works for you. So take those successes and 'fails' and use them to help you understand what you want and how you are going to get there .

Jesus it's so hard to explain how lovely it is not drinking isn't it. When you see others experiencing it, like you say, the realisation dawning that this is a wonderful, wonderful thing that I've been fighting against, it's lovely to see others sharing that happiness .

indie I understood it the first time
Stay strong on your trip away.

Morning all,well Mr quiet arrived back from the states on friday to a bit of a loon Ie ME

I was stupid and after having 5 alcohol free days last week went and drank at least a bottle of wine on fri night and this is the stupid bit,I also took my amitriptyline tablet as well and almost passed out,I got ready for bed with my eyes closed

Then I was just as stuuuupid on sat night,my thinking was well mr quiet is back so I need to celebrate,did at least 1 1/2 bottles of wine went to bed really teary and burst into tears and said I just can't do the couple of glasses and stop thing I have to stop completely for now,I have no self control,I sobbed literally sobbed to mr quiet and this is from the girl who hates to let her emotions out :(

So yesterday morning I said for definate no more but now I feel mean,told MR Q that when he is drinking of a weekend I will sit in the bedroom and he said that was unfair so he would stop too,I feel awful as he loves his wine,been to Nappa in states on day off tasting some vair expensive stuff.

Still had a productive day and got all the stuff for our chooks we should be getting next weekend and did a lot of digging on the allotment,then was so tired fell asleep on chair at 8.30 and had to be shoofed to bed by mr at 9pm so booze not even an option

I have read all the posts and well done to those who have achieved their goals,keep trying to those that have not quite achieved theirs and love and light to all of you...............my journey begins again :o

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Quiet - I'm on Amitriptyline and NEVER take it before I'm in bed. It works really fast with alcohol. I learnt that the hard way by falling off the toilet and smashing my face in.

If you're going to have a drink or more, then try to stop a good half hour before you take your Amitriptyline. Also, if you manage to stop that 'just one more drink before bed' routine, and have a cup of sweet tea with a slice of toast, that will stop it being absorbed as fast as it is on a stomach filled with only booze.

NP - what a wonderful post to wake up to

MsGee - glad your rings are clean, sorry DD is still poorly xx

Silver - I'm thinking of you xx

Trinity - well done! One less glass is a huge thing, never mind one less BOTTLE! I remember your posts about not being able to cope and needing another bottle of wine not that long ago.

Maybe, just maybe, this is YOUR time to take control of the booze instead of it taking a hold over you? You're kicking ass lady, long may it last.

Drinking is a habit. Do something different with your evening.

Uplifting stuff NP, you have the right mind set, and are so aware and determined, good time of the year too for knocking booze on the head. Spring new beginnings.

Oh dear Quiet, so sorry, but Rome wasn't built in a day. I replaced DC's with chickens when they left home, nurturing instinct is far too strong.

Ma & Thurso, the sex thing, have you ever really talked to DHs about your feelings? Sorry if I am being intrusive, but I got fed up with the instant bonking thing too. So I sat him down and just explained with gusto that I wanted tenderness and understanding and I wasn't a performing seal. Once he got that I was far less inhibited. Saying no is difficult to take without explanation for men and children. My theory is that most men have a mental age of about fourteen anyway.

Indie I have got my fingers crossed.x

Good luck this week with anyone else who is struggling, and I hope that you don't have to think drink too much.

Quick post as I am being effective at work

Ma - not sure if this helps but years ago DH and I went through some trying times with regards to sex. He actually appreciated being told that it was off the table for a while because he said it was much less stressful for him - otherwise he was hoping all the time, feeling turned down and rejected etc. Although not his choice he preferred having a definite answer (for a while) - I think we agreed to not even think about it for xx months which helped us both.

Now we would like to but are too knackered. And seeing your DW with DD's shit dripping off her isn't much of a turn on

Isinde - firstly (shufflehug). Secondly.... you are going to try ... hmmmn. Perhaps have a plan? Trying sounds ... well, like what I do when I am not really trying that hard (no offence!).

Mouse thank you lovely. I packed DD off to nursery (terrible mother) but plan to pick her up early. In the end she enjoyed (yet another) night in bed with mummy.

Anyway, its nearly lunchtime - hurrah!!

Hi everyone.

Some great posts (as always ).

Ma, your inner child comments really, really struck a chord with me . I think I need to do something about it. I have had a book about 'reclaiming your inner child' sat on my bookshelf for about 20 odd years but whenever I start to read it it's too painful . I need to change something. After the initial super-boing of stopping drinking, I have fallen down again mood-wise. And now I don't have the distraction of a hangover. And it's PMT time and I'm not sleeping so it's a general aarrgghh from me I'm afraid.

Must dash. Sorry to put a downer on things. Ignore me, I'm hormental Have good days everyone . Today I will not be drinking.

Isinde

I do love a list. I have a to do work list next to me. This is a day list, as opposed to the week list on my notice board, or my month list on a printed calendar. overkill??

Hotel seems to be the difficult points for you. Is there somewhere you can go for a swim instead of sitting in the room? Or see a film? Or find a restaurant without an alcohol licence?

xx

Morning everyone! Small boing from me.

QuietOhSoQuiet I am going to say an idea out loud, it is only an idea and of course you are free to ignore utterly if you wish: I am not drinking until at least 7th April, would you care to join me? I have given up alcohol for Lent (having never ever given up anything for Lent before!!) and am now on day 5 or 6, can't remember. Giving up til 7th April, which is Easter Saturday, is 40 days alcohol-free and, if there is one thing I learned in my Life Coaching training, it actually takes about 6 weeks for habits to start to become second nature. I have given up alcohol for 6 weeks before (when I stopped smoking) and from that point onwards my consumption never went back to the levels that were usual for me before that clean break. I still want to drink less, though, which is why I lurk so much on this fabulous bus.

Trinity and all others who are still drinking more than you would like: would it help to keep reminding yourself that every single day you go without a drink you are giving your liver a rest and reinforcing the belief that you can have alcohol-free periods, you can get through the cravings, you can and do enjoy your days without alcohol? It is so difficult not to focus on the negatives (those days when you didn't want to drink and did, against your will, with the result that you feel fearful and pessimistic) - but every single day without a drink is doing you a huge amount of good, both physically and mentally. I wonder if it is healthier to focus on the positives of not drinking and how fabulous it is to not be doing it, than to stress so much on the negatives of falling off the wagon.

I believe we will all get to where we want to be with alcohol and drinking. We have the will, or we wouldn't be here. It might take a lot of trial and error but falling off the bus 10, 20, 30, 100 times doesn't mean it can't be done. It took me 7 serious attempts (ie. more than a year off cigarettes) to give up smoking but I truly know I have done it now, with my 4 year anniversary looming large.

Now if anyone has any ideas about this extra 35lb I need to tackle ...

Isinde when I read it back how it must have seemed to mr quiet,selfish me (and yes I am a fairly selfish person,tis on my list of things to change about myself)

bibbity I was considering this already although I have screwed up on 2 days YES I think I will join you on staying sober until end of lent.And it usually only takes 2/3 weeks for something to become habit for me as I have a horribly addictive personality with everything.As for the spare poundage,I run so why don't you start a run/walk programme ?

Hi all, I havent posted in the last couple of weeks but having been reading this thread and drawing strength and willpower from everyone on it.

I am starting into my 3rd week of alchohol reduction programme. I have gone from drinking half a bottle every night of the week, (consuming around 40-45units per week) to not drinking mon, tues, wednesday nights and dropping my consumption levels to 14 units per week for the rest of the week.

It has saved me money, increased my energy, but more importantly given me back some control, which i didnt think i had anymore.

I really never thought i could give it up for one night, never mind 3 nights a week, and am hoping to increase that as time goes on.

This thread is a godsend. Thanks all

Well done posh I'm glad it's going well for you. That's the way I did it, by just cutting out 'drinking days'. Eventually I did a whole week. Now I am only choosing to drink on selected weekends (two out of the last 7) and can quite happily enjoy life without it.

Good luck to those giving up alcohol for lent. Just remember though to take it one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow, or even this evening, just deal with now.

Isinde if you could get this trip under your belt, without a drink, you will feel fabulous. Are there any motivational audio cds which you could listen to on the train? Get your dts to record songs and messages for you? Anything to remind you of your reasons to not drink.

In school today we talked about changing seasons and how we can change our behaviour to make ourselves happier. This is what some of the children said:

If you try and you fail, you should keep trying
Never doubt yourself
If other people say you can't do it, don't listen to them
You should help each other
Don't feel bad
You should never give up

Out of the mouths of babes . . .

Thanks Fairenuff. I'd love to get to where you are. I'm sure with a bit of willpower and the support from the Brave Babes, I will.

Hi again,

Hope you've all had a good day and that everyone is feeling good and positive for the evening ahead.

I've had a good, balanced day today - bit of domestic stuff, bit of work, and a bit of thinking time for me - making these "moving towards" and "moving away from" lists

I still feel calm and happy and relaxed - I even put a classical radio station on the way to the supermarket in the car today instead of having the usual pop-y drivel banging out. I've bought really healthy food too. It's funny how my food choices often reflect "where I am". This week I want fresh, healthy good stuff to help my body recover from the abuse I've put it through.

If you'll excuse the pun, I wish I could bottle these feelings. Why on earth have I not done this years ago? I was so locked into my habit that I didn't realise that it had stopped serving me aeons ago.

I used to feel like opening that bottle of wine and glugging down one extra large glass after another was the only thing I did for myself in a day. What tragic irony. It was about the WORST thing I could possibly be doing for myself. I feel much more "in the moment" now and am realising that there are little joys everywhere and that if I want to do something for myself, the best thing I can do is NOT pour that first glass of wine.

I hope I don't sound too ridiculous - I know it is such early days for me and I must sound so evangelical but I just had no idea that there were so many positives to be found in not drinking. Whenever I've thought of giving up drinking before, I've associated it with loss and deprivation. It hadn't occurred to me that there was so much to gain.

Have a good evening all you Brave Babes. Send you all my very best wishes, wherever you are xx

Hello Brave Babes

I've had an incredibly productive day at work despite mild hangover. As I'm not going to be hungover tomorrow (no booze in house, about to put my jammies on before doing homework) I wonder how I'll get on?

I've booked Thursday and Friday off, which I'm looking forward to. Thursday is to finish my essay, and Friday is to do the 101 niggly home admin things that I never get time to do and which nibble away at me IYSWIM. And tidy the house as we've been having the bathroom done.

I am going to look after myself. I deserve it.

Much love xx

NP I think when we all first 'get it' we are so enthused and enlightened that it's difficult not to gush a little, and you deserve to.

I just wish more women could be in our boat. In my area alone, the stats for liver disease are up 400 percent in the last eight years! Dealing with the physical is hard enough, but it's mental place you have to get to that is the most strenuous part of this. In our surgery alone at least six women a week present with early signs of jaundice. All have left it until damage is done, and this is an affluent area. Unsurprising that only 3% of alcoholics are street/homeless.

Not sure whether any babes on here are familiar with King/Princess Baby syndrome, the famous Hazelden Addiction Centre are purveyors of this and it was taught to me in my Rehab. Often even though we are sober this lingers on, six manefestations of it. King Baby, Princess Baby, Clinging Vine, the Perfectionist, the Falsely Humble and The Ego Tripper. It's quite interesting if you want to Google it. I am in the business of teaching people how to understand this disease rather than preaching. Even though the inner child wants to be heard, we are all grown ups and should really try to learn why we struggle with booze instead of being poor me, poor me pour me another one.

Have a safe evening. xx

Sarah

Thanks for suggesting the "King baby" stuff. I recognised elements of myself in the Perfectionist, Ego Tripper and Falsely Humble. Good to explore. I also saw elements of KB in DH and PB in a friend of mine who I get irritated with because she is so princessy. Interesting reading.

What you write about liver damage scares the living daylights out of me.

Of all my reasons to give up drinking, this is number one, non-negotiable. I am absolutely convinced that I must have done damage to my liver but am too terrified to go for the blood test. I guess that if I did get tested and my liver function wasn't normal, all they could do is tell me to stop drinking, and I know that already.

I'm really hoping that my liver will repair/ recover itself over a period of time - is this right? Do you know how long it would take? I guess it depends how badly the liver is damaged

I'm guessing from what you write that you are an addiction worker attached to a medical practice? Do you know anything about livers Sarah? Sorry to impose on you in this way - now I feel like a Clinging Vine!

Night night everyone and wish you all well.