The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

I'm watching Panorama. Liver Disease is the UK's BIGGEST KILLER.

The cause? Alcohol. It's to blame for 13,000.00 new cancer cases EVERY YEAR.

When you watch something like this, it really does hit home. The government is saying that we, the public, should take at least two days per week off drinking.

Is that drinking at all? Or just more than the guidelines? Does that mean that if we don't drink for two days, we can have that little bit more when we do?

Pretty scary and confusing isn't it? One thing is crystal clear though.......... the drink will kill you, if you let it.

Let's not.

Let's fight the over use of alcohol.

Let's support one another.

Today, tomorrow and the day after that......

I'm going to shut up now and go make a

Night Babes xxxx

Night Mouse
Am pissed. Will post again when sober. Love to you all xx

Quiet - sorry, X posted. I'm not wise but thank you, I'm just aware of my own personal relationship with alcohol. It's not a pleasant one, it's volatile, aggressive and rather nasty at times.

I'm savvy to it some days, that old devil booze, other days it slaps round the chops with a wet fish.

It's too easy to say 'fuck it' and pick up a glass filled with the weapon of your choice.

You can buy alcohol readily, easily, 24 hours a day in some places. Supermarkets used to stop you buying booze before 11am. That's certainly not the case here anymore.

Anyway, I need to go and seal the open sewage pipe in our toilet. Fecking builder.

Stay safe babes xxx

Stay safe OneSunny, sleep well xx

Thanks Mouse. Am drinking rosehip tea, off to bed soon.

No mouse you are wise,you have been there,dealt with it and continue to deal with it (from what I have read so far) on a day to day basis,giving advice when needed..........this in my mind makes you wise and someone who can give us the benefit of your wisdom,even if you have been to hell to get this wisdom.

I'm recording that programme to watch later Mouse but I'm guessing they mean two days completely alcohol free and sticking to recommended units the rest of the week. The trouble is, for people with a drink problem/addiction, that can seem like an impossible task.

venus look how far you've come in such a short time . I'm so glad the wine meant nothing to you today - you know you don't need it, you don't even want it. Luckily there are people like you and JWN and Bafana and Bproud and all the others showing us that, actually, it's not an impossible task at all. Anyone can get there if they want to.

To anyone trying, struggling, having a few hiccups along the way, I would say keep trying. Do not give up. Lots of us have a few false starts before we start to feel that we have some control. For me, something just 'clicked'. I can't explain how but I haven't had any cravings or urge to drink for a good five weeks. I just feel that I don't want it or need it. A few months ago I did not think that was possible for me.

I watched too Mouse. As an ex hazardous drinker who knew no danger, no amount of government guidelines would have put me off. Would have thought of at least a dozen good reasons to ignore them.

But the one comment that was the best in the entire half hour imo, was from the guy who said, even if you only have two glasses of wine every day, try going to the same places, doing the same things, leading that same lifestyle without the drink for a month. Then you may realize you have a problem.

Clouds rehab is wonderful, but who can afford the time 6 weeks minimum, 12k minimum?? Support is what we need, good old fashioned compassion and understanding, coupled with not being afraid to be honest with ourselves.

Think the worst poison I drank given no other choice was a whole bottle of Angostura Bitters, 46.5% proof, and it dyed my mouth rust red for a week. The car's battery acid probably tasted better!

Fuzzy, glad you have had enough of the shit.

hey all. thanks for nice comments about my relationship with DDs. I worry that it isn't good enough, particularly with DD1 who doesn't really relate to me.
I feel pretty crap, which may be why I've been feeling blue. Maybe got a cold or flu type thing coming.
Drinking has lapsed again - never going to beat the weigh in at this rate...

Morning all,

I'm feeling a bit blue these days too Ma, missing the DC's, and work is very stressful and hard and not enjoyable at the moment. But, I think everyone, no matter what they do are a bit "up against the coalface" this year in terms of budgets, etc.

We started a household budget plan in january, and that is just depressing me, it would appear that we can never go on holiday, eat out, etc until we are abou 95!!! DC1 has been making noises about buying a flat, at the end of next year, and has been talking about how much deposit he will need . DC2 with another three years of uni, and I think we may be able to have fish and chips on Brighton beach in 2015!! Sorry facetious comment, I know that I am so fortunate to have what I have, but just sometimes........I wish I had elected to live in and on a small commune in the South Pacific when the Dc's were small .

BProud I am so sorry, I meant to say a long while ago "CONGRATULATIONS" to DD on her job. Crikey she has done brilliantly. DD must have worked so hard, and been so prepared for her interview. I know that DC1 spent hours and hours researching for the interview for his internship.

Mouse I must take issue with you . You most certainly are wise, and your posts are so true and sincere that they always help, thank you my matey .

I must go and get ready for work now, hello to all new Bebes.
Speak later
xxxxx

"new Bebes" for French viewers

Bonjour bebes mwah mwah

Have a lovely Tuesday

I wish i would have watched panorama i wonder if i can watch it online? Its similar to smoking though i know it will kill me but i still do it. I am trying to focus on why its bad for me right now today eg. the smell, the way i act when i need one or the other, the way it they control me on a daily basis

Day 2 of no fags or booze. Me and hubby have this codependent thing going on, its quite destructive. I told him I don't care if he drinks/smokes or not now. So last night he phones me up to say "what a day to stop drinking and smoking" and rambled about how hard his day was. This is the point where I would usually say "fuck it bring me some wine and fags, we will start tomorrow"

Enough I'm not doing this anymore, if i end up smoking for a bit then i will and just not pick up a drink too. I have bought the paul mckenna quit smoking book and am reading it, it can't do any harm. But im keeping an open mind, if i trip up so be it as long as i don't drink anymore.

Big hugs to those feeling blue xxx

hi all - stuffed with cold but in work. count me in for the fish and chips thurso
I'll save up for it. How are "things"?
silver how are you doing?

Morning. No Boing here, just snoooooze.

Had one glass of wine last night. Spent most of the night in A&E with DD who had a suspected broken toe. The stupid GP didn't seem to take into account that she was dancing around his office whilst he referred us. Then I worried that if I didn't go I'd get in trouble and so off we trundled to A&E. Everyone was amazed that we were there, they nearly didn't x ray her because it was so unbelievable that a child would sing and dance with a broken toe. But they did. And we were told that we had to wait three hours to be told what we everyone knew. She is fine.

So I came home and drank a glass of wine before sleeping. On the plus side I was too tired to eat, so no calories.

On the down side I prioritised wine before food.

Morning

just doing my catch up for inspiration/motivation.I watched panorama last night too and will be saving it for dh to watch upon his return on friday to give him some idea of my previous weeks wafflings.It told me something I never really knew,all those cancer cases related to booze.

better are you from Hove,I am from a teeny bit further inland,moved 18 months ago and really really miss going to the beach,Brighton/Hove sometimes.Fecking miles from the sea where I am now :(

fuzzy I quit the fags a month ago,I bought the paul mckenna book too as in my mind it cost me the same as a packet of fags.It sort of helped me but the one thing that has got me through is the Ecig I bought.I know it contains nicotine but I only use it in the evening when the kids are home from school and driving me nuts and unfortunately when I decided to drink a whole bottle to myself on sat night I puffed away on it,but it really has helped me through those difficult moments.IIn one month I have used 1 1/2 cartridges of the things,pack came with 5 so I have saved myself a fortune in £££ and my breathing when running is now :o

fuzzymind you can watch the programme online on BBC i-player here. I thought it made interesting watching and I liked how AC was so honest about his drinking now. He describes himself as an alcoholic and knows that he has a very unhealthy relationship with booze, but he is not completely abstainant. He did say that it was a struggle to stop after a glass though, and while making the programme he'd stopped completely again.

I was sort of watching the programme from 2 perspectives - one from where I am now, and one from the old familiar thinking patterns of the past. I know that a couple of years ago I would have heard the stories of people drinking 2-3 bottles of wine a night and felt reassured that I was OK, and I would have ridiculed the comment about 2 glasses that you 'had' to have as being a problem. So I guess my overall conclusion is that it was probably mostly preaching to the converted.

Hi to all anyway, lovely to see your message Thurso, sorry things are feeling so tough.

Morning all. Minor boing here due to the first full night's sleep in a couple of weeks .

Fuzzy, OneSunny, how are you doing today? Don't let any hiccups get you down. You're focusing on your drinking and trying to cut down; that counts for a lot. I'm new at this, too, and I really, really struggled at first. It felt like every day was taken over with thinking about drinking, and trying to find the willpower to not pick up. It was stressful and tiring and quite depressing. It was hard to acknowledge I was an addict :(. But, like the vaire wise Faire said, something just clicks at some point. It's only been a few months since I was drinking far, far too much, but now - most nights - I don't even think about having a drink. It's very strange really! But if you want to stop badly enough, you will. Honestly, I thought I was a hopeless case, but I'm doing alright :). Are you both trying to stop smoking? That must be tough to try and give up drinking and smoking at the same time. I used to be a smoker so I know how powerful those cravings are. I know I couldn't tackle two addictions at the same time. I really admire people who can, though, or who can stop drinking and also diet at the same time. At the moment I need my 'rewards' for getting through the day and I am prioritising cutting out the substance that has the most chance of killing me. I may have a jelly belly due to all the cakes and chocolate but the guilt, shame and hangovers from hell have gone. One battle at a time for me. at your drinking success AND weight loss, Faire. You could go off some people, couldn't you?

Panorama was good, wasn't it? Interesting what you said, Venus. I wonder whether I would have thought that it didn't apply to me if I'd watched it a few months ago. Just because I didn't drink a litre of spirits a day, or quite so much wine . I didn't realise that the UK's consumption of wine had increased so much in just a few decades. Or that drinking-related diseases had increased 4/500% in recent years...shocking. It was interesting to hear about the sociological perspective; that the UK has adopted the continental approach to drinking (wine with a meal, at lunch time etc), yet also stuck with the traditional, weekend binge-drinking customs...very worrying. I do worry about how this trend is going to be reversed when the recession is causing so many problems for so many people.

The programme also made me very worried about the damage I've already done to my liver. Does anyone take anything or do anything to help repair their poor livers?? I used to take milk thistle when I was drinking but I don't now. I wonder whether I should? I don't want to talk to a doctor about my drinking but I wonder if there's any kind of test I can organise privately or online or whatever that can give me any feedback regarding how scarred and shrivelled up it is?

MsBojo, welcome back. I think for some of us it just has to be the right time to stop. I know I couldn't (OK, wouldn't ) have been able to do it at Christmas. Hopefully, if things are a bit calmer for you now, then you'll be able to give it a good go. Keep on posting.

MsGee...fun night then?! .

Ma, so you were coming down with something! At least you know why you were feeling blue. Hope you feel better soon. There are some nasty viruses around at the moment. The one I had recently affected me more emotionally than physically, weirdly. I'd rather be throwing up than feeling depressed.

Thurso, a commune in the South Pacific? Oh, dreamy...that's where Babesland is isn't it?

Saf, are you OK? Are you still unpacking?? Hope all is well.

Well I'm never going to get anything done with you lot waffling on am I? . Laters, Babes.

SSSM doc can do liver function and bloods very quickly if you want. Liver has an amazing capacity to repair itself. Just eat well.

We have a workshop this afternoon down on the Farm for six women who were rendered homeless two years ago, and are now back with their children and with roofs over their heads. I am proud of that. All had been at some point, professional, and in a clique of one kind or another, surprising how acceptance can be all that you need and more importantly reaching out for help rather than thinking that you are capable of DIY.

Most importantly DS has been employed again through the summer break by Google YAY!!

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

I've heard from Saf - she's struggling with a nasty, continuous headache (not booze induced) but is still gorgeous

I really enjoyed that Panorama programme last night. I could relate to all the people they interviewed, and like others, found the comment about doing the same things as you so when you drink but with no booze inside you, rather interesting.

I wonder how many of us would still enjoy that party, that meal out, that family event, or would we still tolerate the office twat pratt at the Christmas party?

How many of us who are still drinking, on ANY LEVEL, would say, hand on heart, that they could go out for a night, to a pub, club, for dinner and not want a drink? To need a drink to feel that they fit in, to feel relaxed, to feel accepted.

Alcohol has such a stigma attached to it. The thing is, it's only us, as an individual that gives the booze any kind of power. The more you think about it, the more power you give it.

The more attention you give it, the bigger it gets. The more clock watching you do. When will it be drink o'clock? When can I have a drink and it be okay?

What are you going to say when you get to the bar and are asked what you'd like to drink? Habit tells my mouth to sat a glass of dry white or a voddy and slimline tonic.

Habit. It;s a dangerous habit as some of us saw in that programme. I think that those who missed it should follow venus's link and watch it. Makes for some good thinking about your own drinking and lifestyle.

I'm out tonight. I'm going to my friend's house for some drinks and gossip tonight, so are two other friends. They'll be four of us, two are drinking and I'll be one of them. The two that aren't drinking don't have any issues with this and I have no issues with them choosing not to drink.

They have chosen not to drink.

I have chosen to drink tonight.

It's a choice. My choice. Your choice.

The same as it is to stop.

So true mouse about the power that we give alcohol. And it doesn't help us to live, it prevents us from living and enjoying properly. I was at an evening reception recently. It was for a campaign that all who were there would have been very motivated by. As is usual in our culture, when we arrived there were people walking around offering trays of wine, juice and water. The juice I had wasn't exactly hand squeezed from a lovingly picked organic orange, but then it wasn't the sour smelling, slightly warm, gut-rot stuff they called white wine.

There were some speeches (about the campaign) and entertainment that was relevant to the campaign, yet in the midst of it all, about a third of the people were distracted by looking around to see if there was any more wine on offer, and trying to attract the attention of the people with the drinks trays. I suppose what struck me was that people had campaigned for YEARS for this, yet in an environment where they were actually being listened to and could be influential, the lure of a cheap glass of wine could distract them and take their focus.

I have spent years thinking that I NEEDED alcohol to give me confidence and courage at a social event, when in fact it stole my confidence and courage. Don't get me wrong, I'm still shy, I'm still a bit anxious about some social events, but I've got the confidence to deal with my shyness, and sometimes the courage to say 'No' to things I really don't want to go to at all.

I have spent years thinking that drink relaxed me when I was bored at home, and I now think that it just made me boring. I thought I needed lots to drink to have a good night out with my friends, yet in the past year I've had more fun with them than I can remember from our drunken nights out (partly because they weren't fun, and partly because I was too drunk to remember anyway).

I thought I had a sophisticated palate and drank nice wine because I liked the taste, and now I think it smells sour and bitter. Someone recently gave me trifle with sherry in it, and I was like a little child with my face wrinkled up. I just thought it tasted horrible.

Please, please don't think I'm being smug. I still have my struggles and get tempted, but I am more and more veiwing my drinking years as a temporary madness (albeit one that lasted for 35 years!!).

Great post venus

What is also interesting about that venus is that all those people distractedly trying to search out another drink could probably easily stop on the way home and get a bottle of whatever they wanted. Alcohol is still fairly cheap, readily available and easy to get hold of pretty much 24 hours a day. Yet for some people, seeing the level go down in the bottle, makes them frantic to get some more before it runs out.

It just takes over your mind and all your reasoning goes out of the window. I have to have it and I have to have it now! It's that kind of thinking which changes first, in my opinion. That fear of not being able to get enough. I used to feel that fear not so long ago.

I spectacularly fell off my panda
I will be back soon