The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

Ma - brilliant. You are so in need of a night like tonight my love xx

I'm off to Bedfordshire with a very poorly Nemo.

Night night all xxxx

Sleep well Mouse. Hope you all get better very soon.

Ma, that sounds like a wonderful evening! And it sounds like you're not drinking...??

Nice one Ma x

Just thought I should pop over seeing as my thread has caught your attention

I'm glad my thread is sobering reading for you, I have read your threadds from time to time and think you are all wonderfully supportive and such strong Babes

My mums situation has also made me take a look at myself and my drinking which I need to cut down on. I would hate my daughter to feel the way I do in years to come.

I honestly think it would be best for both of us if my mum did die

Stay strong.

to be honest have been drinking a bit, but didn't finish the last glass and the bottle is corked and back in the fridge. when did one bottle ever last 3 nights?
am off to be now with hot water bottle and book. have changed the bed and will cosy in and listen to the wind getting up all on my own. am a happy, relaxed bunny tonight.
night night babes.

i had two glasses of wine
and some indian
so have failed on two thread

dps lot did turn up and they were lovely, nothing to worry about

Well done Ma, sleep well.

Whatwillbe . I found your thread a couple of days ago (hadn't realised it was another thread that Bproud was linking to as my phone wouldn't open it ). I am so sorry for what you are going through. I am a Stately Homer and I have a similar relationship with my father. I know just how hard it is to feel the responsibility yet not the love, or the like or the respect. Do what you can live with. Protect yourself and your children. I am thinking of you, as many people are. Stay strong, and do not feel guilty about anything x

Trinity well it could have been a lot worse. As others have said, have lots of water or tea now. I think the worst thing on both the diet and the drinking is that once you've 'failed' you feel tempted to give up. Don't do that. Don't add chocolate to your list of points failures and don't add any more alcohol.

thanks venus,

I have a huge glass of squash
I dont feel like anything to eat
going to go to bed now

It was a hiccup, I can get back on the panda as it were

Back on the panda? I haven't heard that one before .

Just popping on to say goodnight. Another sober Friday night for me. In laws are coming to visit on Sunday and we're going to eat out at a local pub so I will probably have one, possibly two glasses of wine like I did last weekend.

After lunch we are going for a walk through the woods so I have no plans to drink any more than that. This will be my second 'controlled drinking' experiment. It's like I am slowly rehabilitating myself, but must remain vigilant .

However, that's not til Sunday so still got sober Saturday to get through. Lots more cleaning and shopping to do, that will keep me out of mischief.

Have a good night babes x

Hello all

Just checking in, haven't been here for a few days. I've had a fair bit to drink this week, but have had a 'social' drink at a family meal tonight.

I'm feeling more positive than I was, DH and I have been talking about our issues and are getting on better. We're talking about joint tactics to keep away from the booze.

And I've got a conditional offer on my uni course - woohoo!

Trinity well done for stopping. Tomorrow is another day xx

Whatwillbe I was so sad reading your thread. My oldest friend was the daughter of an alcoholic. Much love to you.

Night Babes, sleep well x

Whatwillbe I hope you didn't mind me linking to your thread, it just made me realise how awful I could make my DC lives if I started to drink again.
You are very brave and I wish you and your little ones all the best. For what it is worth I think you need to put yourself and your own family first in this situation.
We will be very happy to support you if you want to join us, to keep mindful of your own drinking habits.

morning all. slept well and had a lovely lie-in without being pestered to either get up or have sex
flurries of snow in the wind here, so better get out for my walk while i still can.
Has anyone heard from noteven

Ma I hate to point out the obvious, but is is just dh being absent that has put a spring in your step this morning? Do you think you have been tense and 'on edge' every day as it draws towards evening and night. I know we joke about it but having to share your bed reluctantly is quite a burden to carry and last night, without him there, it sounded like, well, joy. Like you were free to relax and enjoy snuggling down in peace. Sorry, if I'm being too personal, ignore me if you like, you just sound like a different person without him x

Morning all. Ma the vision of you snuggled up with a hot water bottle made me smile and be glad. Bit gruesome here too, just been out the dog.

WWB I have added to your torturous thread, and I just hope that you can draw some strength from the wonderful women in here. I would be very interested in how many of us had boozy parents. Mine were both alcoholics, Father died when I was 13, cirrhosis, Mother died when I was 32, a bitter and nasty woman, particularly towards me. Even more so when plastered. My brother is also a problem drinker, and getting worse as he gets older, but still functioning and in denial.

Anyway on a brighter note, think you are all bloody amazing. Off to do something creative with some pastry.

boing!! morning all! (wishes dh was about to pester me for sex! funny old world aint it ma! )

whatwillbe - i read your thread the day you began it and it made me cry, i wanted to come and say sorry but tbh i wasnt sorry for you, i was sorry for me i felt almost victim like reading about your mum, in a 'that could be me' way - god, what selfish thoughts!, then i spent hours and hours thinking about it and i am SOOO sorry, sorry for you, sorry for your mum, sorry for me, sorry for my daughter - this is a terrible illness if it takes hold, no winners, it takes and takes and takes until a person can give no more - thank you for posting, it has stiffened my resolve (which i need very much at times!), i never want my dd to have to write such heartbreaking things about me, i never want to see her so unhappy, i cant speak for your mum, but im willing to bet she didnt have all this in her life plan - i hope you can find some peace and resolution in some way, but thank you once again, your bravery in posting how you feel WILL and HAS helped other mothers to tell the booze to 'fuck the fuck off'! good luck to you and yours! L XXX

Another one here with alcoholic parents. Both still living, not quite sure how. Co-dependent, very strong characters, overwhelming, controlling. They are not in my life much these days. Dm in particular is a very nasty drunk. Spiteful and deliberately cruel. As soon as I left home I reduced contact with them. From a very young age my dcs knew not to answer the phone in case it was nanny. She still occasionally leaves drunken messages on my answerphone. I keep them for a while and listen to them to remind myself, it's not me. When she is sober she's ok but only because she knows I won't put up with her if she's not. I will walk away, or hang up because I really do not have to fight those battles any more.

Sorry, perhaps I should have put all that on WWBs thread . Still it's good to get it out, right? .

Morning, tis me, Mouse

JWN - I too thought of you when I read WWB's thread. I thought about your DD. I wondered if she'd ever felt the same way and for even thinking of you but your post has confirmed my feelings.

I think that we should ALL read WWB's thread. It's not a position I'd ever like to put my DCs in but who's to say that one day, if I were to become that person, that drinker, that selfish woman, my DCs wouldn't post something similar on here?

It's heartbreaking.

I don't think any of us could really know that 'we'd never do that'. I should imagine that WWB's mother didn't purposefully set out to turn into the person she has...... but then again, maybe she did.

Going off some of the comments WWB has made, maybe her mother is that cold and calculated.

I'm glad you posted here WhatWillBe xx

thats all right mouse! me and dd are fine these days, she has got over her 'teenage arse' years and im sober! tbh, those were such a toxic mix im surprised we didnt kill each other but, she has forgiven me and i understand the worst of her behaviour was a mix of being scared about me and simply being a bloody selfish teen, perfectly normal, and very fixable! i have never wanted to be a 'best friend' kind of mother, mothers have to be much tougher than a bf at times, we are here to fix things, make everything safe and forgive behaviour we dont like, we are good companions these days, do stuff together, have a laugh and she knows im here if it all goes tits up, a proper mother/daughter relationship! (she has also perfected an eye-roll for my most extreme behaviour, we are a bit 'ab-fab' tbh! )

Of course I don't mind Bproud, if my sad situation helps keep some one else on track then it's worth my time posting it.

I'm going to leave my thread alone now, I have re-read it a few times and there is lots of strong advice, only problem is, I don't want to do any more than I already have over the years.

Yes I wish she wasn't unwell and I do wish she could be a real grandmother to my children, I miss them not having a grandmother more than me not having a mother because I'm used to not having one.

In the cold light my children only have me. They have no grandparents to spoil them, take them out for the day and I have no one to pass them onto for a little bit of peace me time so I have decided that all my time and energy will be given to my children, not my mother.

Jesus you sound completly wonderfull and I bet your DD is enjoying a more relaxed relationship with you now, I love ab fab. I'm more Kevin & Perry with my Tweeney atm.

You have all been so kind & open, I think I will stick around if no one objects

JWN - I have that kind of relationship with DD who turned 13 last week! Your DD is in her early twenties, (I think?) there is no hope for me!

DD has the best eye-roll because she learnt it from me! We are like peas in a pod, she does tell me stuff and talk to me about her fears and worries which is something I never had with my mother and something that I treasure with all my heart.

We are friends, but not best friends, I agree that there has to be a line. A very long line some days! I imagine that your DD is just so very relieved to have her mother back in her life, there's no point beating yourself up for things that you can never change tough.

In my book, you served your time when you saw the damage you'd done to DH and DD. You knew what you'd done and YOU put it right, and I guess you still will be in little ways for a long time to come.

An alcoholic is a very selfish person. You're not that lady, you are stronger, smarter, and much more than the person you were before you started to drink in the manner you did.

You are an inspiration, I know you don't think like that being said. Your very first thread saved your life, and I am sure it's saved others too. You cared enough about yourself and others to change. I bet there are lurkers or even posters who took that first step because of you.

It's not far off two years is it? I bet that you never thought all those days, weeks and months ago that you would be sober. I bet it seemed an impossible task to you at the start.

You are a star my lovely, you really are xxx

X posted WWB

I'd love you to stick around, even if it's just to have a rant, a laugh or even a cry. Whatever it takes for you to get through the day! xx

wwb - wot mouse says!

yes, two years end of may! blimey!!! and yes, it seemed an impossible dream! i can only say to anyone trying to get sober, it IS possible, you just have to keep plodding away it, one day at a time!

Just checking in. I was going to stay off the booze altogether last night but DH had a bottle of red open so I had a glass. BUT just one glass. I can't believe I managed it to be honest. I have never done this before. I just drank it really slowly to enjoy the taste rather than just the fuzzy feeling.

I am going to do the same tonight and then not drink for the rest of the week.

Trinity- I don't think you messed up at all. You stopped after two glasses. That is really good willpower

I have just got home from watching The Muppets at the cinema with DD

That is two hours of my life I will never get back x