Morning all
Just a quick one. Gosh this house is sooo not good for me...the PC is about 2 metres away from the table where the DC are currently making far too much noise whilst Play-Dohing. Previously they were making far too much noise whilst having breakfast. Later it will be crafting...aarrgghh I can't hear myself think!!
Anyway...just wanted to check-in. I am reading avidly but not finding the time, headspace or energy to post much. Gotta love the school holidays 
. Those quotes about guilt were really inspiring yesterday. Love it. I seem to take notice of the opinions of well-renowned writers or philosophers (or Brave Babes :o) but years and years of telling myself that I shouldn't feel guilty about certain things just doesn't seem to carry any weight whatsover.
Venus, Allen Carr keeps cropping on here. I really must look into it. Sorry you've been struggling a bit recently. Anything in particular causing that do you think? Hope DD is still doing well.
Thurso, Venus, Ma, JWN, you all sound like such lovely mums. It must be incredibly hard letting your DC go but would you really, honestly, want them to stay at home, or very nearby forever?? You have given them the confidence and security to feel able to explore new places and be independent. It doesn't mean they don't love you or won't still need you. Focusing on the adults my DC will grow into is what gets me through some of the challenges now. And I hope they turn out like yours (well, what I've heard about them sounds good anyway...
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Rain, Quiet, Posh, it sounds like you're doing great. The first few days are hard. It does get sooo much easier though. I never thought I'd be able to go for an hour without thinking about when I'm going to have my next drink, now I don't struggle at all most nights. So much of it is habit. If I were you I would get lots of nice 'treats' in, to replace the 'reward' of the booze. For me it needs to be something special, not something I would routinely drink anyway. So it might be some fancy fruit juice, or Shloer-type drink, or posh chocolates, or nibbles and dips or whatever. I would spend a bit of time today, as early on as possible, thinking about what exactly you would look forward to eating/drinking/doing tonight instead of boozing and take the necessary steps to have those things in place for when (or if) you get the craving later. And if you're feeling guilty for spending money on yourself like that, remember how much the wine costs...why would I never buy myself a £2 bar of gorgeous chocolate yet I'd think nothing of spending at least £5 on wine, almost every single night?? Be good to yourself :)
Also, try to think about what your individual triggers are. What is it that makes you want/need a drink?? Is it loneliness, stress, hunger, tiredness etc? And what can you do to try to reduce the chances of these triggers occurring or at least stop them being so overwhelming that you feel like you must drink? Is there anything you can do to prevent that craving in the first place? We all have different triggers and different daily routines but I have found great benefit in planning my day; planning ways to keep myself as calm as possible. At first it took quite a bit of time and effort but through addressing my 'issues' and my triggers I have found that I can avoid some of them. For a good week or two my main focus in my day was to avoid my anxiety throughout the day building up to such a level that by 5 or 6 o'clock or whatever I was so wound up that I NEEDED a drink URGENTLY! It seemed quite self-indulgent to be thinking of myself and my own needs and stress levels, but I cannot tell you how much my family have all benefited, so by acknowledging my own needs/weaknesses everyone is happier. Result :)
Sorry, I've gone on again. The playdoh seems to be going down rather well! Oops, think I spoke too soon...
Have good days everyone! Stay strong. Today I will not be drinking :)