The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

I don't think I've quite figured out my 'thing' yet, about why I drank so much. More habit than anything yes, so even if I didn't really want a drink I would still have one.
I think I felt like I'm an adult and I can, so I will. Hedonist is a good word, although sounds far more exciting than sitting on the sofa mainlining white wine with dross on the TV! I was also terrified of the thought of not doing it, but now that I'm on the other side I find it hard to see why. But then I still find the idea of going to the pub for the night and not drinking quite impossible.

Maybe I need to change my thinking on food too then, just because I can buy ice cream and cake and eat them for breakfast, doesn't mean that I should.

I've been a little bit disappointed about somethings that haven't changed since I've stopped though.
Weight is explained by all the food I've been eating..
But I'm also still knackered all the time, and have been grumpier than ever with no obvious reason why. I even did a pregnancy test recently, just in case!
That said, I don't go to bed early enough, there's always a bit more crap to watch on the telly! And I expect any fool could tell me that eating properly and exercising would probably lift my mood.
I guess I was just hoping that everything would be magically better but it's not. It's certainly not worse though of course.

I don't know why I am drinking so much. Boredom and stress from raising 4 youngs DCs. We just went out for a walk and when we got home and were closing the back door/getting wellies off etc my first thought was pouring a glass of wine because I guess it triggered the return from the school run routine when I would normally have my first glass.

I shouldn't be like this. I have a loving DH, beautiful DCs, a professional job and I live in a nice house. I have friends and I am happy but I crave wine so much. I am finding this much harder than I thought I would and it is scaring me to realise just how dependent I am on alcohol.

I have been spending my time looking for justifications to drink . If someone on acebook or a MN thread mentions having a glass of wine I think well everyone else is doing it so it can't be bad. But I know that most other people aren't drinking the best part of a bottle of wine each night.

I'm taking each hour as they come and trying not to concentrate on it so much. (So I should get off here!). I have been thinking that I should put the money I usually spend on wine in a seperate place and buy something lovely after a month to show myself that I can do it and benefit.

Sorry to run on!

Welcome Trinity- I have only just come to terms with my excessive drinking and am on day3 of trying to stop so I do not have great advice but the lovely ladies on this thread are really helpful and a bit further down the road so have some good advice

ok its nearly the time for me, help

please

hello trinity! remember how dog rough you felt this morning? well, you can have that feeling all over again tomorrow if you pick up the drink now! instead of course, you could have a long soak? take the dog for walk? play a board game with the kids? bake a cake? have sex? take your pick really! just ride out each half hour and you will get there, dont sit and brood and feel sorry for yourself (typical hangover behaviour!) get up and DO something, anything!

ok, I'm hearing you

I'm cooking dinner right now
then erm......shit I'm useless at this

Trinity this is my time too and I suspect we are not alone.

I like to have a glass or 2 whilst making dinner,so for now my children are eating crap to prevent me from going into the kitchen too much.Needs must for the moment.

I started a journal this week so I can track my thought,feelings,emotions and current potential triggers,for me it's stress from the kids and lonliness,moved house 18months ago and never really fitted in here.I think I am going to have to reasses my whole life,from early teens as I seem to have always had control issues over things.

Can I please ask people to keep an eye on anything they find a bit from me as I know when I get all raahhy I tend to start being all controlling and usually it means me controlling food and restricting what goes in my mouth and with trying to keep alcohol to a minimum I will feel the need to beat myself up and control my actions.This is all due to my lovely mother and her eating/food control issues when I grew up.This is probably where the needing to have a drink came in,have a drink,feel more relaxed,not needing to be so controlling.Fuzzy logic probably but makes sense to me.

Trinity do you eat the same as your dc usually? Well why don't you drink what your dc are drinking? Same as them for 2 weeks. You would never dream of giving them alcohol to drink, so why would you give it to yourself? Two weeks of healthy soups, some nice fish and veg, lots of water, some juice. Will do everyone the world of good.

Quiet perhaps this one of the times when your food control issues could be a help to you rather than a hinderance? How about drinking lovely V8 juice - with a stick of celery and couple of drops of worcestershire sauce? Or squeeze a fresh lime into a tall glass, add ice cubes and top it up with soda water. Or a smoothie with carrot juice, lime and lemongrass? I suppose what I'm saying is if you are going to control your food intake why don't you divert some of that obsession into making the tastiest, healthiest drinks instead. Clearly I know nothing about your issues, so if what I've suggested is crap and unhelpful for you, then please just ignore me

sadly i've completely fucked my children up
well maybe not gecko totally
and they dont eat well

i'm eating a cobbled together curry type thing
all counted and pointed

scrummy

just found some decaf teabags and a pack of sweeteners
may try one later (never drink hot drinks)

Trinity there are many worse things that could have happened to your children - I was lucky, my youngest dd would have eaten plates of broccoli when she was small Your curry sounds good.

I sometimes drink herbal teas cold. Especially in summer - make peppermint tea and add ice. Or twinings cherry and cinnamon, make with a little hot water and then diluted with soda water or tonic. Feels like a real fizzy treat.

Yes it's the cocktail hour. Quiet, my Mother had a lot to answer for too, god bless her. Glad you are cataloging your thoughts and feelings, for now just keep busy, Venus has got some great logic there, but of course nothing about problem drinking is logical is there? Just throw some positives in now, you are not drinking, you don't need to drink and you are for the next hour not going to drink. Like yourself tonight. Be kind like you are to your family to yourself.

Trinity if you like ginger, try any drink with that in it. Very good for your tummy and anyone who has given up quantities of alcohol take B vitamins, you are depleted. Mood will improve and you won't feel as tired.

hmm I dont like ginger really but I will try anything
right b vitamins

thanks

I just got home, I hope the early evening strugglers are doing OK now? It's gone a bit quiet over the last couple of hours I notice.

I having had a drink today! I'm fuckibg awesome

When dp popped out he asked me if I wanted wine, I said no thanks but can you get me some bananas !! I've stick to my ww points too

Buggering hell. I meant I HAVEN'T HAD A DRINK TODAY!!!!!

Yay! Well done Trinity!!

Thanks stroke (can I call you that lol?) tomorrow is bike shopping day!

no need to apologise Isinabetterplace
you're right honesty is better than running

Sorry to hear you had a bad evening Isin and well done Trinity on leaving the drink alone.

Well, I am having mixed success. I have avoided alcohol for 4 days now. However, this is coming at a huge cost. I have been so snappy and horrible to the DCs and me and DH had an argument this morning. I feel sick and dizzy and so tired. I am dreading the day I have in front of me and just want to go back to bed. .

The DCs are watching TV as I couldn't trust myself to not shout at them and I thought this was a better option. I feel like a complete mess and so guilty that I am not being the mother that m DCs deserve.

I anyone's out there who had this when they first stopped drinking heavily and have come out the other side I would be grateful for some positive stories.

I am currently debating in my head if I should allow myself a bottle of wine at the weekend or if this would undo all the detoxing I seem to be going through.

Wishing you all a good day xxxx

Morning all

Just a very quick one. Got an incredibly busy day today (which has coincided wonderfully with yet another night of dreadful sleep - excellent).

Isinde, nice to hear from you. Being honest is really important in my humble opinion :) Don't know what to say about your mother... :(

Rain, I felt rubbish when I first stopped too. I'm fairly sure it's quite normal. Are you taking a 'Super B' type multi-vitamin? I believe that can help with mood and energy levels and Also, I felt very weak and irritable at first. I think it helps to eat more foods with sugar in (to replace the sugars in the wine or whatever that your body has got used to having). I did eat a lot of extra biscuits and chocolate etc at first (it's a dirty job...) but I didn't put on weight. It makes you realise just how many empty calories are in the alcohol. Of course there are healthy foods like bananas which would be more of a healthy replacement :o Oh and I think drinking lots helps (water preferably, as always!). Don't worry, though, from what I know what you're experiencing is quite normal. You're doing really well. It's really tough at first but it is sooo worth persevering! Well done you :)

hi Rain sorry it's feeling tough for you. Yes, I think many of us have experienced the kind of thing that you are going through. In my experience it derives from 2 things - one is physical, and the other is thought-based.

On the physical side, we have been accustomed to consuming a lot of sugar and calories through drink, and we've suddenly cut those out without replacing them with anything. If you look at people (without an alcohol issue) who suddenly cut out sugar you often find them describing similar things about being snappy and angry - it is our bodies adjusting to a completely different regime. So in the short term (deal with any weight loss issues later) try creamy hot chocolate or freshly squeezed apple juice.

On the mental side you speak about 'avoiding' alcohol, and I know that I can still quite easily allow myself to feel 'deprived', to feel that it's not fair, to wish that I could drink normally. Well to start with, I never ever wanted to drink 'normally', not if that meant drinking one glass and then putting the bottle back in the fridge so I'm certainly not depriving myself of 'normal' drinking. But I also think that it is normal to feel a level of grief and anger about something like this. My sister developed a severe food allergy late in life, and my dd's best friend has just been diagnosed with diabetes. In both cases they have been snappy and horrible to people, resentful about the things that they could no longer have in their lives, or of the consequences if they did have them.

I suppose all I'm saying here is that what you're experiencing is normal and it will pass. So yes, let the dc watch tv if it helps you get through today, top up your sugar intake with something healthier than alcohol, and above all be kind to yourself - forgive yourself for not being the perfect wife and mother today (or yesterday). If it makes you feel better write down some promises about what you WILL do for them e.g. wake up bright and enthusiastic on a weekend morning and take your dc out to the park before anyone else is up, or offer to drive on a night out with dh, or learn to re-experience and enjoy the delights of sober sex (ooh we haven't talked about that one on here for a while ).

Hi Trinity and Rain
Rain, sounds like a sugar crash to me too, a day's tv wouldn't be the end of the world, keep your sugar levels up and don't think about the weekend!