The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

Oh to be a normal drinker Duckety! We spend so much time obsessing about how to drink in moderation, when for some of us it was never an option. Which is really quite sad, having to say goodbye to a friend I had had for nearly thirty years was a real bummer. Coupled with the fact that a few of years ago there was some research to say that moderate drinkers and even some heavy drinkers, live longer than abstainers one could justify a reason to keep trying. Depression and anxiety are obviously the reason that when giving up something we love, become another cross to bear. And the loneliness especially at the start. Pubs full of happy carefree people with a log fire burning and great companionship seem such a better alternative to sitting at home alone with the teli and cup of horlicks.

I think it is possible to drink in moderation, but only if you don't have to stress about it, adding up units, choosing which night/day to drink, planning for the day after hangover, just being able to handle drinking without thinking. Or feeling guilty. Can never happen for me, so being sober takes an enormous amount of stress from my life, and although sometimes memories of the crazy days are fantastic, the ones where I felt like a complete fool and embarrassment to myself and my family, put it back into perspective for me.

Plus it is a progressive disease. In teens and twenties, especially nowadays, it is acceptable to be a Ladette, thirties, excusable to some degree, and manageable for many, forties, you really are beginning to look like a no hoper drunk, with far less tolerance, and in my decade, virtually no tolerance at all and generally lights out after half a bottle!

Off to meet my hero, have a good half term everyone.

morning all. have had small bowl of shreddies with semi-skimmed milk, and made a big pot of healthy veggie soup. I am going to become a diet bore
This is only day 1.....

We have guests this afternoon .

They rang unexpectedly to say they were coming our way and would it be ok to pop round and see us. So, after a quick hoover round and shoving the mess in the cupboard , we are all set and ready to receive them.

DH is going to cook a huge shepherds pie and has also bought a (one) bottle of wine (bless him). Now, hmm, do I or don't I have a couple of glasses today?

I didn't have any last night and was really pleased this morning. However, I have done 5 weeks and don't intend to never drink again. It would be so nice to come off the diet for one day, have some garlic bread with the meal and a little cheese and wine afterwards . . .

But I do want to lose weight this week.

I think I will see what everyone else wants to do and will put off that first drink until I am really sure that I want to have it.

Decisions, decisions . . .

thanks bproud that's a nice way to look at it - shoring him up with good memories and times. there will be cable cars, underground caves and fossil exhibits and lots of walking and exploring so hopefully good times for him. when i'm knackered and wondering why the hell i'm dragging myself through train changes with a stressed dog and hyper boy and a great big rucksack i will remember your words! iirc i think the b&b has wifi in the rooms so if i can bear carrying it i will take my laptop with me and avoid feeling lonely in the evenings when he's asleep and i'm stuck in the room.

faire god i hate it when people do that - though it can be a good kick up the bum to do a super quick clear up rather than procrastinating over doing an epic thorough job. friends literally phoned from around the corner in their car the other weekend - ds and i were not even dressed and the house was a pit of toys - i was so embarrassed and no amount of reassurance that it's not that bad and you should see our house on a saturday morning etc really hits home

i've at least managed to do some washing that is now drying and dig out the rucksack. need to take lots of layers due to the weather but aim not to overpack as i usually do and drag stuff there and back that never even gets worn. am hoping to borrow my nephews nintendo ds as a bit of a sanity saver and i guess i better get some food basics for ds too given he is permanently convinced he is starving and would cost me an absolute fortune if i had to buy out the millions of mini meals he gets through in a day.

right i'm waffling on, sorry. health wise not doing so great, headache still boring on and i feel all shaky and dizzy today which is not helped by the fact i can't seem to make myself eat and have only managed vegetable juice so far today. really can't afford to crack at the minute though with going away looming so must just pull up big girl knickers (if i still own a pair) and keep going.

sorry for me me me.

ducky - i loved your nice sentiment but i'd rather not comment. bless him!

So Faire, have you decided whether or not to drink tonight?? Big decision! Actually I think you could just have a couple/few glasses, have a lovely evening, and then stop, with no ill effects tomorrow. Couldn't you? Do whatever you feel like at the time :) Like you say, it's not like you're planning to never drink again. Having a couple of glasses with friends, every now and again, is 'normal' isn't it? What are you thinking? I guess it depends how focused you are on the weight loss. But I think you have great self-restraint (unlike me) so I don't think there's much chance of you overdoing it and regretting it tomorrow. But then it's always nice to wake up in the morning with a clear conscience. Decisions, decisions!

Bproud . Actually it's much easier to be nice on here than in the dreaded 'real life' . I loved what you said to Saf about creating lots of nice memories for her son. I am trying to think like that. It makes the day to day irritation/hassle of outings with small children feel a lot more purposeful and important. I don't want the DC remembering a grumpy, impatient mummy, so I must put on a smiley face and count to ten when they seem determined to drive me insane!

Duck that must be so hard with the bankruptcy and the house etc. Sounds like you're staying strong though. Bless your DH :)

Ma, how is the diet going? Sick of it yet?!

Hope everyone is OK. Everyone getting ready to resist the dreaded Saturday Night temptations? I have considered drinking but so far I am OK. I always find it hard with DH away. Kids are winding each other up and I feel a bit rubbish (another cold coming, lucky me). Would love to relax with a few drinks tonight but I don't trust myself not to overdo it. Tonight I will be drinking Ovaltine :)

i meant to say thank you for your kind words silly - sorry - brain fuddled at the minute.

well done on the not drinking decision.

i'm drinking i'm afraid. just a beer so far but there are more in the fridge. it sounds harmless but actually it's probably stupid and self destructive - i haven't even eaten i have my can't eat and fancy beer head on. i get it from time to time.

i think i'm possibly just at the end of my tether with feeling tired and crap all the time and feeling like well i might as well have a drink then given i feel crap anyway my few weeks of barely drinking did not bring any boing into my life.

anyway.

faire how's it going? i want to lose weight this week too and will quite possibly manage it with the not eating but drinking idiocy but it's not the healthy way to do it obviously was it you who talked about how when doing ww you'd save points for wine despite actually starving to achieve it?

msgee - where are you and how are you?? and has anyone seen legalalien? seems like ages since she's been around.

think given that i am drinking i might as well relax and enjoy this beer now and remind myself that a couple of beers on a saturday night is not that abnormal.

Hi everyone

Fairenuff - probably too late but are you sure after 5 weeks without? I don't know your history so to speak. Can only say from my own experience, it wouldn't stop at two.

SarahRT - you sound really grown up and nice. I hope you have a lovely time with your mentor. I never did rehab, just AA so haven't got any long term buddies like that. Perhaps you could be my virtual one.

Swallowafly - Gosh I used to drink like that with WW points. Used to live on veg so I had enough points for wine. A couple of beers on a saturday night is great if thats all it will be. Only you know the answer to that. You sound really unhappy doing it though. Maybe its not helping anymore. There comes a point when it stops being your friend. Again I don't know you very well (yet).

Lots of love to all tonight whatever you are doing

xxxx

morning all
did well on the food front yesterday but the wine won't have helped any
another day - albeit a grey and miserable one - I'll take myself out for a walk to burn off some calories.
How are we all doing? Thurso hows ?

Morning all .

Well, I decided to have a glass of wine with my meal and another one afterwards and that was it . I even had some peanuts before dinner and chocolate dessert, so completely off diet. But I am right back on it today. I am not feeling any ill effects and don't want to drink today so, fingers crossed, the experiment has been ok.

We went for a lovely walk in the woods before dinner. The dcs were climbing trees and jumping in mud. When do they grow out of this?

Saf I did used to use WW points for alcohol (what a good memory you have) but obviously couldn't sustain it long term. Also, it wasn't a healthy way to lose weight. These days, for me, it's more about putting lots of goodness in my body rather than what I don't eat. So if I eat right, I'm not hungry for those sugary/salty snacks.

Ma I hope you get there in the end. It was the alcohol that always stopped me losing weight. I tried for years to drink and diet at the same time but, for me, it was never going to work like that. Keep up the running though. I have a friend who loves to eat and drink so she maintains her weight by exercising a lot. It's even part of her job. She's really fit, does running, squash, spinning, swimming. This allows her to eat and drink what she likes.

Saf your holiday sounds absolutely lovely. These years with your ds are so precious and Bproud is right, he will cherish these memories. He will talk about them with his own children one day, perhaps even take them to some of the places he's been. I think if you can manage it, taking the laptop is a great idea .

well, I managed the healthy breakfast, the healthy lunch and was so bloody hungry by dinner time that my plan to have salad with my chicken breast went by the wayside and I had mashed potato and cheesy leeks like everyone else
this is really hard......

Ma don't be so hard on yourself. You do not have to live off salad . Just try to cut as much sugar and fat out of your meals as you can. Perhaps it would have been better to have the leeks without the cheese sauce. Potato is fine as long as you don't add butter and go for a slightly smaller portion. You will still see results, I'm sure.

Hello all

I've had a couple of nights drinking. Friday night was messy, but last night was one drink. I'm realising that DH and I both hide from our fears with booze, and I do with food. :(

We've had a lovely day today with MIL, SIL and BIL and our niece. I'm looking forward to a far more positive week.

Ma ma ma

When are you going to stop punishing yourself my love.

You are a beautiful, successful, compassionate, loving person. A deeply committed mother with patience of a saint (dh).

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP.

Please

For me

Xxxx

Quick post - saf thanks for thinking of me! Your holiday sounds lovely.

ma don't beat yourself up. I was on track to lose weight this week but cocked it up today by scoffing a huge roast, then eating all the leftover roast spuds. And parsnips. And a few other things...

And now I'm drinking.

Dieting is hard. Not drinking is hard. Otherwise we wouldn't be here would we. It's hard. Fucking hard. So we can't always have a good day. Sometimes it feels like we never do. We just keep trying. x

evening all

ma if you average 3 glasses of wine a night then just by cutting that out you'd be a few hundred calories down. if you then also cut out some sugar and fat or obvious 'extras' you'd possibly double that. which is a big difference. it doesn't have to be extreme. unless you're doing the trick many of us have confessed to when dieting of trying to cut food down low enough to fit the alcohol calories in.

msgee - glad to see you. hopefully you'll feel up for a day one tomorrow and be back on track. good point about these things being hard, they are aren't they?

i had salmon and veg for lunch, didn't eat the roast potatoes and didn't have a desert. did have a couple of glasses of champagne and wine though. i will no doubt drink whilst i'm away but will avoid overdrinking as i think energy levels and enthusiasm for outings and child friendly fun and managing the dog and boy in a guesthouse will be hard enough to find without adding hangovers to the mix!

have decided not to take the laptop. will take my kindle and read and have a break from the internet. will try and pop in in the morning but if i don't everyone have a lovely few days and think of me freezing in peaks and send sunshine vibes my way. my friend who lives there has said i need thermals and cashmere - neither of which i possess. on the bright side being cold burns more calories i believe.

silver why thank you . I am not drinking tonight which must save me a fair few calories.
I am going to do this. i am going with venus theory about moving towards, rather than away from something. I am not moving away from alcohol, I am moving towards weight loss.
Following silver's advice to be kinder to myself and more positive, this weekend I have refused a pain au raisin,a hot chocolate, a scone and butter and a bottle of wine. That must be a decent chunk of calories huh? I also walked two miles today but it was more of a stroll as I had mum with me...
Now on another note - anyone in the Folkestone area? DD2 has an audition on April 25th......

audition for what!!!!!!

tell tell tell

right - i've not posted about my drinking for ages so here is where I am up to

I have been taking the naltrexone every day for about a month (started on 13th Jan)

I am not seeing any results at the moment - still drinking as much and no lessening of cravings or thoughts about drinking.

i was getting pretty disilusioned with the whole Sinclair Method.

Then I went back to the Sinclair Method website and realised I hadn't read the book by Roy Eskapa who wrote about the link between naltrexone and alcohol dependency, in the first place.

Downloaded book to my kindle (OMG what would I do without my kindle )

Read it from cover to cover (almost - certainly the important bits) on Saturday morning (i am a very fast reader btw)

I now realise that I may not see any results until 2 to 3 months of taking the tablets.

So I just have to be patient

Simple

I cannot start to tell you how strongly I believe in this medication.

The book is called The Cure for Alcoholism: Drink Your Way Sober Without Willpower by Dr Roy Eskapa.

This is a drug that is licensed in the USA, pretty much all of Scandinavia. India, China, Northern Europe etc etc - for the treatment of alcohol dependency.

I am not trying to push this as a cure - I just think we should all be aware of all the options available to us.

lecture over

xxxxxxx

to study musical theatre at Canterbury Christchurch, but the audition is at the Folkestone campus. if you pm me your personal email I will send you an MP3 track of her singing.....if you would like to hear?
How is your mum silver and more to the point, how are you? I am about to go off to bed stone cold sober.......yay for me! Night night all you brave babes.

Hi am new here, bit nervous about posting this. I'm addicted to a mixture of alcohol and zopliclone (sleeping pills) to get me to sleep.

I have a pill washed down with 2 (occaisionally 3) glasses of wine every single night and have done so for 9 months. I am nervous if there is not a bottle of wine in my fridge at all times. Its made me put on weight and costs me too much financially. I also have to come off the pills in the next couple of weeks as the dr will stop prescribing them.

I never binge drink as hangovers horrify me. But I just cannot do without my little wine/zopiclone stupor to make me relax enough to sleep.

Does anyone else use alcohol this way or have any experience of zopiclone addiction?

welcome racing. glad i caught you before i go off to bed. I can't help you with the sleeping pills thing, but I'm sure one of the other babes will be along to advise you soon. (could be tomorrow though - we tend to be early to bed on this bus either to beat the temptation to drink, or because we are pissed sleepy). I can however completely sympathise with being nervous if there is no wine in the house, and not being able to sleep on the rare nights I go without alcohol.It is one of the hardest parts for me as without my nightcap of several glasses, I find it very hard to sleep. Hang in there.

Thanks for replying. Am away to bed myself now will check back in tomorrow x

Hey racing

No real thoughts to add but maybe you should talk to your GP?

Lovely to have you on board

take a ticket, brave babe and join the ride xxxxxxxx

Hi racing!
I have not had experience with sleeping pills, but can completely relate to the panic of no wine in the house!
You have two things to tackle then, perhaps it's not wise to do both at a time? Which do you think you could tackle first?
It would be worth chatting to your doctor, surely after nine months he would not just stop prescribing with no support?

Why did you start with them in the first place? Did something cause your sleep issue?

Of course another way to try is to challenge yourself and see what would happen if you went to bed with nothing... just try it for one night, you can always get back out of bed again..

Hi racing - welcome, agree that talking to the GP is a good idea.

ma I am back on the diet this morning. The world's tiniest bowl of cereal with low fat yoghurt and fruit and a gallon of black coffee If we keep going we will get there.

Where is Mouse? HOpe you are ok lovely x