The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

sunny - How's the DH? have you had the apology yet? I would go for an unbroken nights sleep tonight for starters!

Hello lovies

We've had a talk - and I've had an apology. He has no memory of what went on, so the photos I took of him on the loo, and the one of the bruises on his back, were shocking for him.

We're taking things very gently. I've told him I won't stand for another night like last night, and mean it.

I am looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight

sssm - thanks for asking about the OT thing. the hospice i've tried to volunteer with (and talked on the phone with the IT dept who thought i'd be great) sent a thanks for your interest we'll look into it email at one stage and then nothing for over a month now despite my sending a polite (promise it was) reminder and saying that i'd be happy to volunteer in any capacity not just in OT.

honestly it amazes me all this spin about dole bludgers and how all single mums should be working etc when in reality even as a counsellor and teacher i can't get a voluntary place you know? so if as someone with degrees and professional experience can't even get a volunteer coordinator to reply to an email and use them for free how are unqualified people being threatened with having their benefits taken away supposed to be finding paid employment in this climate? amazing the emotive spin that people buy into and vote for without any consideration of reality.

excuse the political rant

today i'm drinking i'm afraid. i decided i needed to get out there and back to facing people. went into town for my singing group and auto pilot bought a little bottle of whiskey and popped it into my handbag. utterly ridiculous really. popping into the toilet to take a swig of whiskey is just...???? i'm digesting what makes me do it and how to express/share that without sounding like a complete twat. anyway, decided better to be honest.

without sounding all poor me (i hope) i'm so on my own and doing the day to day drudge without any recharge of intimacy or fun or support and struggling with the fatigue and struggle of my health stuff that sometimes i just seem to have to take the edge off and say here, have a bit of ease. alcohol fits into that hole.

anyway waffle waffle. hope everyone is ok.

ot not it. sorry.

It's just that you never stop talking about me - every time I visit the thread, there's my name! I'm like Cheryl Cole ...

hey MIF long time no speak!

Hi Sunny

and everyone else too...

Was impressed with you taking pics of DH and showing them to him.

Made me think about my various injuries whilst drinking broken bones and burns and of course the ever present bruises.

Amazing how unclumsy I am now!

Not a bad day at all so far. And I do do it one day at a time, so thats all that counts.

Shepherds Pie for husband for tea.
Stirfry for me whoooo

XX

Hey babes. Checking in. Waiting for bed for mum in another hosp rehab unit to get her out of bed and walking again. She fell yesterday in the hosPital with three nurses around her. FFs that's what three weeks in bed does....

MIFL - where have you been old bean (see what I did there - did you did you ). Hope famiy Are thriving x

Ma if I could drInk one beer and one only I would be a happy bunny. You are far too hard on yourself my love x

Mousiest mouse come Out of your house

Hello to all. Sorry not to name check but typing on this iPhone is a slow and tedious process.

Xxx

wanders - ffs

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Sorry for not posting, RL has been getting in the way and TBH, I've had nothing to add to the fantastic support that has been given to all of the Brave new posters

DD hit 13 yesterday and we had chippy tea at her request, followed by a giant chocolate fudge cake

MrHouseMouse aka Hilts tried his luck and is now in the kitchen behind some cupboards.... or the range..... meh. I went to town and got two female gerbils - they are Cissy & Ada (Les Dawson and Roy Baracroft) because DH had come home with all the kit for a mouse! bless him!

Nemo has conjunctivitis still and his eyes are just pure red. They don't exclude from school/nursery these days so the whole of nursery can get it and keep spreading it.

DH is cooking sea bass, I'm not in the mood so going for something with toast and a pile of cheese.

Saf - we're away during the half term for a day or two..... what are you planning with DS? xx You sound really, really down in your last post ..... Can I help? xx

I've been happy and smiley and bright and boingy and full of life, and beans, and get up and go, it's back! No idea where it went but hey ho, it's back.

Silver - I really hope that you find somewhere for your mum once and for all where she can settle and where you all (the family) feel she will be happy and supported..... no easy task. Are YOU okay sweets? Are you getting any support? xxx

Last night my back doctor called, as arranged. I told him that I had no improvement and in actual fact, my right side of my spine/back was so very sore, bruised, and swollen and that the injection had made my pain and disability much, much worse.

Anyway, I ed rather a lot to see our gorgeous chap (MIFLAW) has finally appeared. What a lovely surprise

Hey MIF - how are you girls? Where have you been hiding? You've had a few of us worried, you know? xx

Right, off to eat, may be back later on.

Hello to all of the NewerBabes - welcome to the Bus xx

Hi there Mouse and Silver and all the other babes

Just checking in quickly as I'm really (and unsurprisingly) exhausted. I threw a sickie today, and suspect I'll look genuinely rough tomorrow which is good in some ways... I'm going to have an early night and get some rest.

Big hugs to all who needs them. xx

Hope you get a good sleep tonight sunny.

I'm feeling rather soporific myself at the moment. The house is lovely and warm and I've lit loads of candles. Very busy day today, so I'm just relaxing and trying to keep my eyes open

Saf I was thinking about what mouse said re half term. When my dcs were little, there seemed to be lots of half term activities going on, usually organised by local churches or youth groups. I know you're a bit rural but you might be able to find stuff to do with him if you want to. How are you getting on with your mum and dad these days? Will ds be able to stay with them for one of the nights?

Right, babes, one more cuppa then I'm off to bed. Am going to try a new tea tonight - spearmint, milk thistle and nettle. Ooh la la !

faire what make is that tea? I love pukka detox and twinning's digestif

hey all and a special hug to silver,
have had a few glasses of wine tonight BUT started my Race for Life training tonight with a colleague from work. We do a 5K circuit which is 3 laps of the track and we walked most of it but managed a few little bits of jogging here and there. so it's a start.
when I came back from "training" DH had run me a bath - the first time in over 25 years of being together. I am a tad suspicious, but it was a nice gesture so I thanked him for it.

ma how lovely - appreciate the little things if you can xxxxxxxx

christi pukka night time is going down a storm here.

After swimming and Mad Dogs on the TV.

Night babes sleep well x

Isinde - welcome back! No, there is no dignified way to snort, but I am a champion snorter! The "Don't call me babes" comment made me snort so loudly that everyone in my office turned round. I think this is probably the only thread on MN where calling women Babes is acceptable.

And welcome back to our male Babe MIFLAW - have been wondering where you were!

Fairie step away from the poetry - that was truly shocking

saf my lovely saf. You sound so very down in your last post. I know exactly what you mean by the autopilot behaviour. I found myself repeating "learned" behaviour recently as well - went on a business trip and bought myself a bottle of wine at duty free on the way out (I used to always do this and then drink it in my hotel room - didn't want hotel booze showing up on my bill). WTF? Anyway, I now have a bottle in my fridge waiting for my next permitted drinking event, but it was so incredibly hard to resist drinking it in the hotel room.

Am working slowly but surely towards my "towards" goal - 13lb down in 6 weeks. Let's not pretend that I'm anything other than ravenous for at least half the day, but if that's what it takes. I'm so tired most days from going to the gym twice a day that I lose the urge to drink and sleep really well. And I naturally eat less when tired - just want to get dinner over with and go to bed. Its not sustainable behaviour long term, but if I can just reach my weight goal, I will feel like I got the old me back again, the me before all the ill bit and the tired of life bit. Away from the "new me" back towards the "old me". The drinker is not me. That's what I have to keep telling myself, otherwise its just too hard.

Well done Boss, that is quite some determination, I'm impressed . Just be really careful that you don't burn out. Your body will need calories to burn at the gym and your muscles need lots of nourishment. But you know all that .

I know what you mean about getting your 'old self' back. Alcohol is a bit like a fog which descends when you are vulnerable, weighs you down, clouds your vision and saps your strength. Fighting your way out of it is difficult - I suppose that's why we often call it a 'battle'.

But once you are out, it's much easier to take stock of your life and think about what you want and how to achieve it. You're getting there, Boss. Me too . Let's fight this bugger together!

Have a happy Friday everyone. Today I will not be drinking .

Morning all
Rubbish night - no sleep. Little un is sick kept me up most of the night.

Then when I did try and sleep, head was whizzing with all that is going on at moment. Its OK during the day, I can fend it off, but in those dark sleepless moments, I find that my conciousness can lead me down some lovely projecting of whats coming up.

Bankruptcy - its the only option.

House - not convinced we can keep it.
Bailiffs - no sign yet, but they absolutely petrify me. Scared of big burly men walking in and carrying things away.

Thats only on the surface. I can't dig any deeper at moment. Oh there are valid reasons for these troubles, we haven't been completely irresponsible. Long Term Sickness, and then job loss, and now DH is back at work, but earning half what he was before for twice as may hours. And of course because of said long hours and child care - oh and no one wants me! I can't get a job!

Accountability - thats what this thread is doing for me. I need to be accountable.

None of the above has happened yet. But its going to, projecting about whats going to happen, isn't going to help. Live in the day! not always that easy.

My Mantra today shall be "you can only think one thing at once, so if you don't like what you are thinking - change it".

Sick of RL people telling me "lots of other people are worse off" I KNOW - but that doesn't stop me worrying about our situation.

Lots of Love to all

The Boss of Me - drinking in hotel rooms used to be my favourite. Just bad when I forgot cork screw and had to go ask for one. The look I got of the hotel staff.....and of course then I would start ringing people (ex-husband mostly) and shouting in my drunk voice (apparenty my accent got posher and posher the more drunk I got) - those were the days.

Oh this is all a long rambley ramble.

just a quick one. I have never found AA to be like a religious meeting. I always feel worse after i have been to a meet than before. It always makes me cry, but i think coz i haven't beaten my demons as yet.

BUT it keeps me from drinking. So I go, i don't enjoy it as such but i feel strong and if i keep going back i don't drink. Just need to find a meet near me now! the one in my town has gone

hello to all the brave babes xx

Few cups of coffee later, much more postive!

Fresh air does wonders.

Fuzzymind - sorry your meeting has closed. Hope you find another.