hotDAMN yes that may well be true although I'm not sure how I would've reacted to a friend if I was still in the FOG, hard to say. I would like to think that I would've listened rather than pass judgement.
twinkle my mother on many an occasion has threatened suicide for attention purposes and has never even come close. She once threatened to walk into the sea and drown herself because my brother had lost his car keys 
at the time I can remember thinking to myself "go on then just do it" and would quite often visualise the sight of my mother walking into the sea. So you are not alone.
Lemony my god that's awful. Hopefully it was done innocently 
like a raspberry on a baby's bottom or something but I think you are right to be cautious. Bloody ex's! Mine is a pain in the bum but that's another story.
I was never worried about my mother/DC's in a sexual way it was more a feeling I had that she would take them and never bring them back. I can't exactly put my finger on why just a series of things. For example:
-when DD1 was born she used to say "come to mummy, oops I mean nanny" far too many times for it to just be an innocent slip of the tongue.
-she used to tell me to "look after the DC's whilst I'm on holiday"
-if she was late back after taking dc's out I would start panicking and thinking she wouldn't bring them back. I have never thought that about any other friends or family who have taken DC's out and been late back.
-on DS's last birthday before I cut her out of our lives, she came to our house barely said 2 words but followed DS where ever he went, from room to room. We had a BBQ, she refused any food but stood over DS as he ate, staring at him. DS kept looking up at her and didn't know where to look or what to do. It was very freaky and made everyone feel really uncomfortable.
-when dd2 was born she kept putting her face about an inch away from dd's making her scream everytime. She would hold onto her arm too especially if she was being held by someone else as if to say " i've got hold of her so you can't take her away from me". She also had her own nickname for DD2 and when I called her my little nickname she would immediately say hers loudly as if I wasn't allowed to have a nickname only she was. (fairly pathetic I know).
-she would stroke dd2's face in an obsessive way, using her whole hand not a light back of finger/hand like you would expect someone to do to a newborn, I can't really describe it but I didn't like it and neither did DH. It was like she couldn't get enough of her and DH still describes it as 'creepy'.
-She also hated my DH spending time alone with DD2 (his first child) . We went to her village fete where she snatched a crying DD away from him in front of everyone as if he was incapable of dealing with her and when he took her off for a little walk in her pram whilst I sorted the other DC out with having their faces painted my mother was on edge the whole time and kept saying "where are they?" and a very relieved "oh there they are" on DH's return. It was as if I'd let my then 7 year old ds take the baby off for a walk on his own.
Anyway I'm sure you get what I mean. I'm adding to the list aren't I of reasons why I'm best off without my mother 