I really need to know if this is normal or not because I am losing my mind.
I am young, very, early twenties. I have DS who is 3. My H left us when DS was nine months old. Since then my dad has been DS's male role model and they are extremely close.
I have met a new man. He is lovely. My parents agree that he is a nice guy and in no way are me and DS in danger nor would he ever do anything bad to us like mess us around.
They are totally against it for the following reasons.
- If eventually we got married I would have to move away. This would be a long distance relationship and they don't think it will work. I am able to go down for as long as I like with DS (though will never go for too long because DS needs his home routine as well) and I could go regularly with DS. Also, he could come here 4 times a year. In between all that there is skype on which both DS and I can interact with him.
- They just don't think we are a good match. They think we are too different and that I will get bored. Admittedly we are different but not in values, only hobbies, and I have never liked sharing my hobbies. I have known him for two years and have never once been bored either online talking (which we do for a few hours daily) or when he has spent time with us here.
- They say they would not cope if DS left and think no man could ever love DS like my dad does or be his father to DS like my dad is I don't live with my dad, he acts like a grand dad in every way, he is not my son's father but I admit they are very close. They are together on weekends during the day and dad travels DS to and from nursery mon to thurs.
Now I accept they don't like it and I accept they would struggle if we did
eventually leave (it's not like I am going with in a year!!) but the reaction I am getting is (and is a common reaction whenever I have done something in my life that they don't like)
"so you are going against the family?!
"
"you'll regret that"
"Oh this is so wrong, it's so wrong
"
"how can you do this to us?"
"we are not sleeping"
"this will all go wrong"
I get ignored and the atmosphere is so vile and tense it's painful. My father actually snapped at new P when he was last here because he tried to help DS with something when everyone else was busy cleaning up after dinner. He actually shouted to him to leave DS alone
while walking towards him aggressively and then later mocked P in a belittling way when P was trying to explain Rugby to me saying '