To text or not to text... that is the question!

[ginnyjeans]

Have been chatting with a guy I met through POF since Christmas. It's been pretty full on, we've flirted outrageously and we've been texting LOADS. Some days I won't send a text and you can guarantee a day later he's in touch saying 'your quiet'. We arranged a date and it didn't come off and last night he said 'you should have invited me over' so I called his bluff and said 'ok, come now!'. He lives 30/40 mins away. Anyway, long story short, he came to mine with a bottle of wine at 10.50 last night! He had to be at work the next day at 7am. Lovely bloke, we really got on, had such a laugh and at 1.30 he left without so much as a peck on the cheek and I thought ok, he's not interested.

THEN I got into bed, got a text saying 'thanks for a great night x'. So I sent one back and said 'Very fun, completely mad! Double bluffing all the way' and he asked if I had wanted something to happen. So I said I might have. He ended up coming back about fifteen minutes later and we kissed passionately for ages, didn't have sex but it was pretty HOT. Actually - totally HOT! He left at about three.

Nothing today. Normally I'd probably text him but now I'm being all pathetic and not. Should I just send him a friendly text or do you think I should wait for him?

I'm so useless at this dating game!!!

No reason why you can't send a text askng how his day has been. Like

Hey you how's your day been.

Don't text!!

Why are you wasting time??????????!!! Just text/phone and say what you want to say!

No - DON'T!!

text!! lifes too short!!

Do not text!!!!!!!!!!

Life's too short for this sort of game playing. Text him if you like him, FGS.

I vote text. No reason not to. he's clearly into you, go for it. Keep it chilled

and let us know what he texts back

Depends if you want to play games or not (although it sounds like you already are), if so don't text, keep hold of the power

text now! and then tell us what his reply is!

not quite clear what the situation is - are you saying you haven't actually had a date, just him coming to yours with kissing and nothing more despite you wanting more?
what is it you are wanting here?

If you're keen on him DO NOT TEXT him. Wait to see if he texts you tomorrow and, if he doesn't, don't text him until at least Wednesday (by which time you may have another fish on your hook).

With all the driving he did in the middle of the night and leaving yours at 3a.m when he had to be in work for 7, the poor sod's probably knackered and had an early night.

life's too short but it's not like one day is a long time - surely you'll be more pleased if he texted, remember you invited him, so you are not a wallflower anyway.

Text! I did it and am still with him 4 years later :) Good luck!

he is indeed likely to be falling asleep today at work!

It's Saturday!

I don't like the sound of this. He hasn't managed to take you out on a date, in public, but can sprint over to yours late for a few hours, has to leave and be in his own bed...

Something fishy, or is me being cynical?

Ha ha. Ok, so text or don't text! Still confused. I don't want to play games - but my friends say don't text and it's freaked me out. But before I met him I would have, now I've met him - I'm not sure!! If he's not into me I don't want to keep at it I guess. Oh my goodness though, I've had some hot nights, but seriously, this one was amazeballs. He had me up against the wall kissing. It was passionate from the moment he walked back through the door. I'm not saying there wasn't touching! ;-) but we didn't have sex. I'm 36, so's he. We aren't kids but I feel like I may as well be one the way I'm feeling now! Grrrr.

Oh, ok, - re the date. I had said I could get a babysitter but he didn't get back to me so I didn't push it. Then we said next Friday 27th and he said he would have to check his diary but hadn't confirmed yet. Then when texting he was saying we should meet for coffee sooner than later. So my friend said well pin him down. I asked him about it but he said that we had sent so many texts and he knew we had said a Friday but couldn't remember which one. It was just all very impromptu and spontaneous. He house shares. He can't be with anyone. I'd notice if my significant other was spending as much time otherwise occupied as he has been with me!

It's Saturday night, and after his late night with you he's probably shattered. I would leave it and text him tomorrow if you haven't heard from him before then.
He could be asleep in bed and you may not get a reply anyway (which could eat away at you all night). Try to step away from your phone

sorry x-post

Text him! What have you got to loose? I'm having the best phone sex ever with a bloke on POF can't get enough of it but no plans to meet!!

Hmm, that date arranging sounds to me like so much dissembling. Why didn't he get back to you re babysitter? Why wouldn't he check his diary for the 27th and confirm? Seems coffee, middle of the day, was easier. Why is that? Then he won't be pinned down and can't remember what date you agreed on, well why would he? He hadn't agreed on a date.

How do you know he house shares op? Have you been there, met his flat mates?

I vote to step away from the phone too. Sit on your hands. Turn it off. Go down a bottle of wine and pass out. Anything but text tonight.

I bet you will hear from him by dinnertime tomorrow

I wouldn't worry whether to text him or not if you're not planning to have a relationship with him, just do whatever you feel like. He could be married/attached though