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Original poster

To text or not to text... that is the question!

103 replies

ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 22:41

Have been chatting with a guy I met through POF since Christmas. It's been pretty full on, we've flirted outrageously and we've been texting LOADS. Some days I won't send a text and you can guarantee a day later he's in touch saying 'your quiet'. We arranged a date and it didn't come off and last night he said 'you should have invited me over' so I called his bluff and said 'ok, come now!'. He lives 30/40 mins away. Anyway, long story short, he came to mine with a bottle of wine at 10.50 last night! He had to be at work the next day at 7am. Lovely bloke, we really got on, had such a laugh and at 1.30 he left without so much as a peck on the cheek and I thought ok, he's not interested.

THEN I got into bed, got a text saying 'thanks for a great night x'. So I sent one back and said 'Very fun, completely mad! Double bluffing all the way' and he asked if I had wanted something to happen. So I said I might have. He ended up coming back about fifteen minutes later and we kissed passionately for ages, didn't have sex but it was pretty HOT. Actually - totally HOT! He left at about three.

Nothing today. Normally I'd probably text him but now I'm being all pathetic and not. Should I just send him a friendly text or do you think I should wait for him?

I'm so useless at this dating game!!!

OP posts:
hoops997 · 21/01/2012 23:18

Text him in the morning, I wondered whether to text a bloke I met on POF, am now marrying him in sept! If you like him go for it, you have to take a leap of faith at some point Grin

adamschic · 21/01/2012 23:19

Ginny, I don't think a booty call, the first time you meet is an ideal way to start something off tbh, but it's done now so no point me saying it Grin. I would second not texting him, let him make the next move, you've given him enough encouragement. Hope it turns out well for you.

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:20

Well, no but he's added me on facebook and there's nothing fishy there. Everything checks out. You can't not trust someone unless there's reason to. He's been pushing me for the date not the other way round and to be honest, I wasn't chasing him up on it because I thought ok, crash diet - lose a bit of weight and him not confirming gave me more time!! Mad. But then he was pushing for the date again. I think I could really really like him. I've been on a total high since last night so I guess also a little disappointed he hasn't just said 'hey, what a great time' or whatever. But - if it doesn't work out, I'm totally going to remember it as one amazingly exciting night!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 21/01/2012 23:21

I agree with those who say he's probably knackered.

Don't see why it matters what your friend says. And why agonise about texting? Why not pick up the phone tomorrow and actually talk to him? You can then ask him on a date if that's what you'd like to happen. If he's evasive you can move on to the next prospect and not waste any more time on him.

izzyswinterwarmer · 21/01/2012 23:22

Aha, so he hadn't actually gone home after he left you had he? He parked up somewhere to text you and then hot footed it drove back.

DON'T test him and DO check out one of the current internet dating threads on this board. POF doesn't get good reviews for the honesty of the males on the site.

36 years old and shares a house. Mmm, wonder who he's sharing with and where they were last night...

If/when you are in contact with him again, suggest he invites you over to his place.

coffeeinbed · 21/01/2012 23:22

Too knackered to text?
Sorry.
Don't text first!

Ljob · 21/01/2012 23:22

Ginny you give me hope!! Go for it and have fun!!!

ilovesooty · 21/01/2012 23:24

A friend of mine in her 30s has been dating a lovely guy from POF for the past 5 months after years of dating disappointments.

sasaunde · 21/01/2012 23:27

Sounds like your relationship is strongly based around texting at the moment and it would be unusual NOT to text him.

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:28

He house shares because he's only recently moved to Liverpool to take up a Management position and didn't know anyone there so thought good way to meet people. He has a little girl of six from a previous relationship who lives down South. I know where he works and it's a demanding job - he's not been cagey about anything. Would rather give him the benefit of the doubt. I've been a bit freaked out about being in a relationship since my divorce but if this guy was interested in dating more and getting to know each other I'd love to. Otherwise as everyone has said - there's more fish in the sea than ever came out of it! ;-)

OP posts:
startinganewlife · 21/01/2012 23:29

whats POF?

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:30

There have been times where I've not text for a day and a half and then he's text me. But yes, it's all been email/texting up to now. We've chatted that way for hours and hours. He was laughing last night because I've asked him so many questions. Seemed really relaxed in my company. He's funny, chatty, easy on the eye..... and very, very good at kissing!!! :p

OP posts:
hoops997 · 21/01/2012 23:30

Plenty of fish dating website

Horsemad · 21/01/2012 23:31

TEXT HIM!!!!!

pinkyp · 21/01/2012 23:33

Wait for him to text and wait before u reply Wink

makeyerowndamndinner · 21/01/2012 23:35

If I was you I would either phone him or encourage him to phone you and actually have a proper conversation.

Texting and e-mailing doesn't really count as proper interaction in my book. They're lazy forms of communication and there's always so much room for misunderstanding.

Let him know he's going to have to do a bit better than that!

Ample · 21/01/2012 23:37

Ah, I remember when just kissing was the best thing....ever, and I mean not in a teen way.

Sounds as if you have your head on your shoulders OP, no matter what the outcome.

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:38

I've just logged onto facebook now and he's online. I'm really sitting on my hands!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:39

Actually it's showing his mobile icon now so maybe his phone is still logged on. Now I feel stalkerish! ha ha

OP posts:
Ample · 21/01/2012 23:40

Does that mean online online or just that his pc is logged?

passionsrunhigh · 21/01/2012 23:40

no, wait for him! he can see you too.

Ample · 21/01/2012 23:41

Keep sitting on your hands. If he's going to contact you, let him. They like the chase Wink

Ample · 21/01/2012 23:42

You've let him know that you are interested. Let him make/take a few more steps forward.

Original poster
ginnyjeans · 21/01/2012 23:43

I think it's just his phone logged in still.

Ok - have been thinking and I asked him once - Personality or showgirl and he said 'Personality - every time'. He said he loves someone a little naughty, a woman who will tell him exactly what they want (I presumed he meant in the bedroom on that one!). Everything was so spontaneous and exciting last night and I think that's what he likes. He hastes moodiness and mind games. I'm thinking I'm just going to text him tomorrow as normal - just something cheeky and take it from there.

OP posts:
Ample · 21/01/2012 23:44

Yes, great idea.