Has anyone ever had a friends with benefits type relationship

[friendswithbenefits]

Regular. Namechanger. All that stuff that means fuck all anyway

Has anyone ever had a friends with benefits situation that has developed into something more?

I'm in one, sort of, but it's starting to cross the line into more (which I'm happy with) but I don't want to push to hard either so I'm trying to hold back. But the bloke concerned is happy to have more, and looking for more than just sex.

So I was just wondering hoping that someone else had had a relationship that had started out like this and then became a longstanding DP thing?

Ahh Bertie and worldgonecrazy you raise a very good point. One of my FWB was that purely because I didn't believe he was 'relationship material' - not for me anyway. May sound terrible but he just wasn't the kind of guy I would have introduced to my family and while I was financially independent & had my own flat, he lived with his parents and had a dead end job I know it sounds vain but it just wouldn't have worked sex was great tho

worldgonecrazy you just reminded me of a thing that still makes me laugh - when I was young, free & single and loving ummm well meaningless flings I met this guy who was lovely caring etc etc but when he told me that his favourite film was Notting Hill he just had to go! Just wasn't what I wanted AT ALL! I was much more into the tarts!!

God I would be beyond gutted if he didn't turn up because he had a date

But I honestly don't think there's any danger of that.

I hope

OK oh wise and wonderful ladies and men of MN, write the script for me having "the talk" about making it a proper relationship please

If you don't mind my asking, how does one go about turning a friendship with chemistry into FWB? I'd love to do that with one of my friends but haven't found the right words/situation to broach this as a possibility.

I got drunk and snogged him and things just developed from there

Lovingfreedom in my case lots of alcohol and very late nights were involved!

friends that's the difficult part, it does sound like you are on the same page so shouldn't be too bad.

When my now DH and I started seeing each other we made it 'official' in the most romantic way not whilst shagging he said 'I like fucking you and don't want anyone else to fuck you' so that was that! In his defence English isn't his first language! I'm thinking you may want to take a slightly more sensitive approach tho...

OK I'll work on that then - alcohol and late nights. How do you establish that it is FWB rather than a relationship whilst at the same time maintaining your dignity/allure? Sorry I've been with the same guy for 15 years and I'm a bit out of practice/behind the times!! Thanks for letting me divert your post (if you indeed did let me!).

Well neither of us are shagging anyone else - we had the "exclusive" talk

So that makes it a relationship now then...right?

That's good friends and sounds much more than a FWB situation already given that you have already agreed that could you maybe say someone (mum, colleague, etc) was asking you about your status and you weren't sure what to say? That would be my cowardly way of doing it! I know it's hard but maybe also think about saying you were just pondering (underused word IMHO) and were thinking about how either of you would feel if the situation changed and that you would be gutted if that were the case??

I fell so out of touch after being with DH for 5 years!!!!

I think it does Loving as with my FWBs it was more of a case of if there was no one else we'd shag each other ifyswim...

Sounds more like a relationship to me

I married my FWB. Took us 10 bloody years and a lot of heartache, but we did it.

If its a relationship what the actual jeff do I do

Erm...best policy is probably business as usual. If you don't change too much to fast then you will keep it as you both like it. Play it cool and enjoy knowing that you have him to yourself. I'm jealous!! I'd like a FWB who is not shagging anyone else - never been good at sharing as my dear dear H now knows.

He was the one who asked for it to be exclusive, not me iyswim?

And I don't share either

So it IS a relationship now then - as I said before, you are just being all English and vague about it! If you were American you'd probably have a contract drawn up by now and talked it all to death!

Just relax and enjoy it - its sounds like its happening naturally - tis nice!

My RL best friend is also of the opinion that we are deluding ourselves and it is a relationship and we should just stop being stupid and call it for what it is (she knows us both)

It's deffo a relationship yipee!

We've been pissing about like this for a year and a half

I think it works - in a FWB atm. Wasn't iyswim but things changed last week.

Totally is a friendship which we keep secret (collegues ) and it kinda just built up to the sex where it was a kinda 'shall we?' Glad we did - was great!

We also chat daily frequently about the day, life in general or about what's happened. We are also on the same page about it being FWB or he's lying to me.

Hope it does work out well for you - he sounds lovely

Ohhhhhh youarekidding keep us posted

there's nothing to post

but I like it that way!

he sounds like he,s really into you and you,ve known each other a while so why not go for it ihope it works out for you bit of all the sex your getting.

The sex is scarily good

have a talk with him and see how it goes it sounds like your nearly in a relationship. its just admiting it to eachother.