So fed up of being told to F**K OFF!

[colditz]

I have hardly been able to open my mouth today without being told to F**k off by p. 2 year old ds has just been trashing bathroom, so I shouted upstairs "If you put him in his room while you fill the bath, he can't trash thing"

His reply?

"F**k off!"

Nice. Really nice. My son is learning that when mummy says something we don't agree with, we tell her to f**k off.

sorry but why are you still there?

Get you coat and tell him to f off whilst going out for a few hours.

oo sorry, just realised that sounded harsh

Misdee, see various other threads, I can't leave him as I have nowhere to go and will not leave ds with him.

I am in my pj's as am off sick from work, so can't just take a walk either.

Absolutely unacceptable, even if your ds wasn't present.

Domestic abuse comes in many forms, not just violence! telling you to f*ck off is abusive and something you shouldn't have to put up with!!

have u considered refuge?

Colditz darling, sounds like time to properly fuck off darling girl....
Or preferably get him to...

Message withdrawn

and put his stuff in bin bags in the front garden!

i have read some of your previous posts which is why i asked?
take your ds and go? is i right that your ds learns that its ok to abusive to another person? mental abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.

What general area are you in Colditz, geographically speaking?

colditz - he sounds like a nasty bully to me (given the other stuff re money etc). I agree that it is a form of abuse.

Is there really nowhere you can go?

Why do you have to leave ds with him? You telephone the Womens Refuge helpline, they accommodate you and your ds and you can stay there until alternative accommodation is sorted out which they will help you with. No-one knows where the women's refuges are, so he cannot track you down if you didn't want him to. They give you all the help and support you need to get you back on your feet.

Never say can't. You can do anything if you put your mind to it. But if you stay in this destructive relationship, your son will learn from his dad and then you will have two sources of abuse. And so the vicious circle goes on. Only you have the power to stop it. You owe it to your son to stop it now. Phone them tomorrow and leave.

Nowhere except emergancy housing, which would mean a skanky b&b 20 miles away. And I would rather be in my own bed being miserable than stuck 6 months preg with a toddler in a b&b.

Got some councelling coming up, I am glad too.

I suppose it is abusive, but I am not remotely scared of him, so how can it be?

And the refuges are much nicer than B&Bs.

one day the abuse will get to you and make u upset and sad. dop u want to bringing a baby into an abusive household?

refuges are just houses really. you dont have to stay, if u just want a break u can call one and stay overnight or for a weekend.

All the house stuff Colditz worying about the rent and stuff, it can all be sorted, councils will help you, bill companies are able to help accomodate changes like this.
I know you are pregnant and it must seem like an impossible dream to leave him, but it is do able. If I am near enough to help I'd like to.

Can you imagine the sort of father your child might be if this is how he thinks being a dad is managed?
Put it in perpsective, it is worth short term hardship I promise you.

You don't have to be scared of him for it to be abuse. the kind of behaviour he is using towards you is the kind of abuse that will destroy you slowly over the years. it will degrade you and eventually make you feel worthless as a person if you are subjected to this treatment over a long period of time.

Are there no family members that can help out?

abuse doesn't necessarily mean you are afraid of him.

Grinding you down, making you lose your sense of self worth, telling you to repeatedly f-off.....

You don't deserve to be treated this way, but I can uderstand the need to stay in your own home..can you change the locks and shove his clothes in a bin bag???

P isn't abusive to ds.

I am not ready to leave yet. I can't face any more upheavel. It's only because I am off sick from work that we are in the same room at the same time anyway. We usually work opposites.

and meanwhile you ds hears f*ck off. you say you are sick of it, then do something.

It's just...

I keep hoping and hoping and hoping that this will stop, that he will stop ignoring me and I will stop sniping at him.

The very idea is seeming more and more ridiculous by the day though.

Dp's nephew is staying with us, he's been here since September, he has a habit of saying shit a lot. dd1 (almost 3), watched me drop a cup and yelled, 'Oh shit mummy....'

I can't judge you becasue I am not in your situation, I don't know whether I'd take my own advice and leave if I were in your position either.