Colditz no-one deserves to be spoken to like that, there are no excuces for one human being to speak to another in that way, especially not when there are kids looking on. But I do understand the situation that you are in being six months pregnant and that leaving now is not necessarily the right thing.
I haven?t read all your posts re your DP, but I have read some of them, and I can appreciate what you?re going through. It?s very easy to see just one side of the argument and to advise someone to leave a particular situation, I think though that the fact your P has given you the bank cards and has allowed you to control the finances does show that he knows he has a problem with money and is happy to give control of the finances to you to resolve that particular situation. So I would say that it doesn?t seem that he is a controlling partner. By telling you to F* off though shows his total lack of disrespect for you, and the fact he is prepared to talk to you like that in front of your son just shows that he?s happy for his son to see that as the right way for women to be treated. Or could it be that when he says these things he just doesn?t think of the fact that your son is in the same room or in close proximity?
When you look back at your relationship, was there ever a time when things weren?t like this? If you thought that things could change, would you want to stay? Not for the sake of your DS, but for yourself? Do you still love him? Are there still times when things are good between you? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then the reality is that you?re staying in the relationship for the wrong reasons, and leaving will be inevitable at some point. Staying together for the sake of the children is never a good idea, especially not if the relationship is a very destructive one. I appreciate that your DS loves his daddy, most kids do, and if your DP has a big part in your DS? care, then it is natural that your DS will be very clingy to daddy when he leaves the house. But if you split, although things will be hard for your DS initially, as long as you don?t withdraw contact, your DS will still get to spend time with his father, maybe not as much as he currently does, but he will at least get time with both of you without the insuing arguments/insults.
If you do want to stay, if you do still love your DP and want to make the relationship work, then you need to sit down and have a serious talk about how things are now and how things just can?t continue like this any more. If you can?t talk without having an argument, then it might be worth putting things in writing. Tell your P that you don?t want to be spoken to like that any more, that you don?t want to be treated like that, especially not in front of your children, but not at all. Be honest with him, tell him that if things don?t improve between you then you don?t see a future for the relationship and you and the children will leave. I know it won?t be easy, but if you do decide to leave then there will never be an easy time to do so. So when you decide that you just don?t want to do this any more then you need to go at the time you have decided to go.
Good luck xx