Trying for baby...DP on dating website

[chocice]

I have been with my DP for 6 years and we have been trying for a baby for the past 9 months with no success.

I was really down about it yesterday after finding out yet another work colleague is pregnant and she was on the pill and not even trying. DP tried to reassure me it will be our time soon, we will go to the doctors if things don't happen naturally blah blah blah.

Just now he was on the laptop and I have come on after him and noticed he is still logged in to his email account. Curiosity got the better of me and I took a quick look.

Every email in the inbox is from me apart from one which contains login details for a dating website. I logged in and he has put in loads of details about himself and said he is looking for someone to spend his life with.

what the actual fuck is going on?
I feel like my world has been crushed. Please help.

Oh no. Deep breath and then you must confront him. It's horrid I know, but your mind will be in overdrive

don't understand how we had a conversation like that yesterday and he is doing this behind my back at the same time!

He will be back at 8.30 and I want to confront him but don't know how. I don't want him to be able to wriggle out of it.

what should I do? Still logged in to his email account. Is there a way of me being able to find out his password so I can gain more evidence? otherwise once I shut down the laptop I won't be able to access it again.

unless I have solid proof he will deny deny deny. I need more

I understand the enormity of it all but I am also quite calm right now and thinking about what I can do. someone help me out please

Print the emails out. Then you have hard copies. Or you could take screen shots and email them from his email address to yourself - then clear his sent items. Forward the emails to yourself and again, clear his sent box?

So so sorry for you {{hugs}}

How can he deny anything when you have the evidence in front of you. I confronted my oh and he never tried to deny anything. I would ask why he was looking for someone to spend his life with

If still logged in to emails you may be able to go on the site and click forgot password...
I hope you are ok OP x

You could try going on website and clicking to be sent password reminder as you have his emails open. Print off pages of email or forward to your account via email. Sorry sounds like tough times ahead. Good luck.

don't mean to drip feed but this is not the first time this has happened. a few months ago I noticed he had joined a dating thing on facebook and I confronted him. He said he just clicked on it without realising what it was and as soon as he realised he closed it down again.

I don't want him to be able to feed me bullshit again. and I want to know how far he is prepared to go. Is it just fun to him or serious or what?

I just dropped him off somewhere because he doesn't drive and as he got out the car he told me how much he loved me. I couldn't even bring myself to answer. I just smiled and drove off.

I'm supposed to pick him up at 8.30. I can't even look him in the eye. He will know something's up straight away

ive got the password for the dating website and have logged on. I don't have his email password but it's still logged in. how can I find out what it is?

Well writing out a profile is a little different to 'whoops I clicked on FB dating by accident'. It's something that he has taken time over and put thought into isn't it.

Tell him to walk home.

Is it a proper dating site or a no strings looking for sex site?

I don't think you can find out the email password. On yahoo you have to answer security questions to change it x

apparently he is an "open person" and he lives alone

dating website not sex

I'd take the view that the only thing that's 'fun' to him is his commitment to you.

Fgs don't fall into the trap of continuing ttc with this man because he'll lie through his teeth with the usual stock phrases about how very sorry/penitent/regretful he is and how he'll never do it again, moment of madness, learned his lesson blah blah, and he'll blithely proceed to break your heart sooner or later.

It's scant consolation after wasting 6 years of your life on him, but the fault's not yours and if you kick him out he'll be no different with any other woman.

Think of this as him having done you a favour because at least you can cut your losses and move on without having to think of dc.

So it's a new relationship he's looking for before he leaves you

This tells me he is looking for more than an affair. So many sex sites which can do that well enough, dating is different

You need to access his history somehow
When did he join?

Lives alone.....fucking too right after this!!

Sorry OP, how shit for you

apparently he is an "open person" and he lives alone

Yeah, they all do

He may be on a 'dating site', honey, but that's only because he's not prepared to pay for sex ... yet.

Think about what he will be like when you are sick & tired while pregnant and exhausted when the baby arrives.

Why bother to pick him up? Turn your phone off, pack his stuff up and let the sleazebag walk or get a cab to collect it.

What do you do? Well, first you accept what you've found. He has filled in his details as single, this wasn't an 'I clicked by mistake'. Then you add the last time you caught him - it sounds like a pattern to me. Then you ask yourself if this is the relationship you want to bring a child into.

whyyyyyyyyy would he do this???