i don`t have time to waste on gold-diggers

[mrwidower]

why do women waste their time, hunting for moneymen when security comes in many forms -

what are you looking for ?????

Why no internet advice? If you don't your chances of chatting to someone with romantic intentions are extremely limited to the places you frequent. There is of course the school gates, but you'd have to find out the single ladies first! What do you do? Hobbies etc?

I joined 2 dating sites, nice ones, paying ones. And I'm beating em off with a big stick.

But most of them are, for me, a massive waste of time. So self obsessed, so whiney, and so batting out of their league. Too fat, too skinny, too short, too dull.

Oh god no. Batting eyes at some rugged stranger while you fondle the butternut squash is the opening to a dodgy porn film, not a way to meet people.

Join a group. Adult education class. Social group. something like that.

night classes?

local church?

helping the homeless in a soup kitchen?

that's where all the non-gold-diggers hang out.

You want to stop frequenting those bars

Most people are just looking for someone decent that they find reasonably attractive. That's all.

However some people they view dating, relationships, marriage as a kind of transaction. And I'm sure it even works for some of them.

So you might get one group (lets say Men) who view their wealth as their defining attribute, and they are only willing to trade with someone with something they regard just as valuable.

Then there'll be a sceond group (lets say Women) who are very, very physically attractive. They regard their looks as their defining attribute and are also only willing to trade with someone offering something of the same value.

Often the two groups seek each other out and all is well.

But if someone lacking in one of those attributes thinks they really ought to have the chance to date one of the wealthy/gorgeous then they're likely to be disappointed. And a bit bitter.

Feeling entitled based on nothing but your desire to date 'high value' potential partners is deluded and will lead to biterness.

You think you gotta keep me iced
You don't
You think I'm gonna spend your cash
I won't
Even if you were broke
My love don't cost a thing
Think I wanna drive your Benz
I don't
If I wanna floss I got my own
Even if you were broke
My love don't cost a thing

I met my DH in the frozen food aisle of our local supermarket.... 'twas love over the frozen chips, it was!

Seriously, I did meet him there and we've been together nearly 20yrs now.

Join a sports club. Tennis, hockey, rowing, running... That's what I'd do if I had to look again [god forbid emoticon]

I was once in a relationship where he was tight to the point of financial abuse.
My ex thought i was expensive because i expected him to have bog roll in his flat and he refused to buy ANY groceries even for himself.
It is not being a gold digger to expect certain standards OP.
Many women who have been in financially abusive situations will become extremely wary when you start chucking words like gold digger about!

Fondling the butternut squash, eh?

So that's where I'm going wrong. Although personally I'd want to drive a long way to a supermarket where I'd want to meet a fellow squash stroker.

Not after money and as you say security can come in many forms. In saying this it is nice to not worry about how we spend every penny and if something goes wrong in the house it can get repaired easily. If I didn't have money I would definitely need a man that was a) really useful around the house b) resourceful.

well ladies, i thank you once again for your input, sometimes it not what you say or how you say it, but what you mean, i have read everyword even those you have omitted, my initial rant was against the internet mostly and some of the people that prob live there, your words have calmed my frustration and restored my faith in real people, next time your in the supermarket i wont be the guy who`s stroking the butternuts - thx anyway sarah, i dont like them - going to stick to walking my dogs down to the major oak - thats the me i know

Best of luck MrWidower in the veg section, butternuts are lovely slow roasted.

Most women don't want a cocklodger as has been explained already, and as they mature past their twenties want someone who is self sufficent, and maybe they have wasted their time on these men in the past and want to make sure you are ok financially. I am sure there are plenty of golddiggers out there as well, you can obviously see through them which is good.

What age are your children?

Now that you have calmed down, can you let us know what these online gold diggers have been saying to you and what sites they are on?

Aha, light dawns. You're one of those that Ms Stratton's beaten off with her big stick because you're either self-obsessed, whiney, batting out of your league or too fat, too skinny, too short, too dull.

The source of your angst is that you have erroneously concluded that the women you've made internet contact with are hunting for 'moneymen' when the truth is that you've failed to make the grade for reasons entirely unconnected with your impecuniousness.

It's to be hoped that your canine pals have better luck at sniffing out female companions than you do - unless, of course, they're bitches too.

ps

well well - izzy my dear, if i may be so bold as to say you realy have completely missed your mark with the only exception being that my dogs are female.
i have no idea who ms stratton is and as to why she needs to beat men (off) with a big stick is beyond me... your obviously more clued up on that sort of thing than i

• i am, however, impressed by the carpet bombing approach - funny - but honestly, `if` you aimed at me you missed totaly

your approach to sentense construction shows more promise 6/10 for effort

i`m sure you can do better

i hear you carer - abit in the dark on that side of peoples lives, but am not that stupid as to say anything along those lines when in a relationship...

i will be mindful and silently aware of the situations others may have found themselves in

• thx - very constructive

Thats ok Mr Widower. Good luck.

I was actually trying to rub the marks off my screen until I realised that you had put "if" inside grave accents. True story. MrW you're simply great!