i don`t have time to waste on gold-diggers

[mrwidower]

why do women waste their time, hunting for moneymen when security comes in many forms -

what are you looking for ?????

constructive is good - im sure my busy life as a single parent is daunting to both singletons and those with children afterall mixing two families means one large family.... how many women consider even more children too much trouble to add into a new relationship.... and im not old thanks totally i`m 44

I think perhaps you have to work on the way you come across to potential dates (I'm assuming you're online dating?). I certainly wouldn't see children as too much trouble , surely many people in their 30s/40s come with a family package?

Unless you're aiming your search at much younger women?

Well I think the children issue would depend very much on if the parent was worth making the huge effort required.

A good man who is interested, attentive and fun to be with is important. The money thing is important in so far as no woman wants to feel that she is being sponged off or depended on. If you can support yourself and you're not insolvent then I think that's enough to start with. Obviously one might have more requirements if thinking of marriage but one step at a time!

mrwidower - I agree with the other posters who say that you are probably attracting this kind of response, whether you know it or not. A bit more information about how you put yourself across, what you say that you want, might not go amiss.

I am guilty of this.

I wouldn't ever consider anyone who isn't employed for various relevant reasons. I want to know OPs reasoning though.

MrW. I've just started this dating thing in the last week or so, and TBH, it IS crap. Just as you moan about gold diggers, I will moan about stupid blokes, usually married, sending some lame arse 'Hey', TEXTSPEAK message... or one of my personal faves 'My name is John, I'll be working in your neck of the woods in the new year' That was IT... I'm supposed to reply? The only answer to that is 'AND...?' fuckwit

I'm 43. I realise that there are guys that are still single, have no kids, that DO still have a chance to have them. The LAST person they ought to be dating is ME. I have a child and won't/can't have any more. So even if they look GREAT on paper, I'll not waste anyone's time.

I'm coming to the conclusion that the BEST option for me is to date someone who DOES have children, so that they don't need to have any more, and that they will also understand that we have to put our kids before ourselves sometimes.

I'm sure that I am one of many women who think like this MrW, so don't give up just yet. You are ONLY 44....

A bloke with kids wouldn't bother me at all - after all I come as a package, why wouldn't a potential partner?

What would bother me is a sense of entitlement due to having money.

And mrwidower I'm 42, which probably makes me at least 20 years too old for you

Im not interested in what someone has, or what they drive, but I don't want to support someone, as long as a man is self- supporting I'm happy.

Houdini haven't you had the "Here's my mobile number. Text me a picture of your tits. If I like them I will date you"?

oh and mrwidower, Im 47 where do you live? ;0)

Pic on profile

The cunnilingus is a deal breaker though

I been on a dating site two weeks, apparently at a size 12/14 Im too fat to date, one man just now called me rough.

OOh, no totally... I have that one to look forward to...

That would get a report AND a block.

Fabby - I would have told him tae get tae fuck.

I'm a 12/14 and my boyfriend is perfectly happy with the size of my arse me

My one and only day on a dating site

I had no photo and bugger all information.

I have not returned.

Fabby! that's shit! What a wanker!

Aw Fabby. Time to pick a better site?

Hmmm... I've got my own money, thanks BUT I certainly don't want some useless cocklodger so I would probably want to know that you were "secure".

Other than that I'd like (not necessarily in this order):

Intelligence
Humour
Empathy
Compassion
Sex appeal
Fanciability
Charm
Savoir Faire
Height
Patience
Strong sense of justice
Health
Positive outlook
Generally cheerful demeanour

Did I miss anything?

Belle - yes you did.

Good at cunnilingus

Intelligence is such a turn on!

But I have to say LOOKS do attract first just as they would in real life you would talk to a guy out that you did not fancy.

There is a lot to be said for sexual chemistry.