I am a massive cliche. 10 hours since my marriage ended.

[Changeychangechange]

I've spent the Christmas period glancing over active threads, purposefully ignoring those about Xmas marriage breakdowns. I don't have a stressful Xmas and I've actually had a nice time until today.

'D'H has decided today that he thinks we should split up, sorry, have a break because he 'needs some space'. I've pointed out that he's a bit young for a midlife crisis, however it seems that he's expecting me to move out. I'm not,one for long posts so apols for dripping info, I'm not doing it on purpose. I need some patented MN indignation to bolster my confidence. If I seem a bit flippant, i am ery upset but I've had a bottle of wine and thought I'd pop on for a chat about what awanker I married.

Happy new year anyway, if there's anyone out there.

Good luck changey - if it's any consolation I was talking to a member of my exH's family yesterday ("no-one else, need space" yada yada. of course not true) and they told me they'd been talking to a much older family member about me - when they said "I think Cats is doing OK" this older FM said very emphatically "Cats is absolutely BLOOMING" .

You'll have some hard times, of course, sorting your life out - but this absolutely can work for you. Exploit your networks, talk to old work colleagues, let it be known you will be back in the job market asap.

fingers crossed for you!

Yes, I'm trying to be positive. I'm thinking my life was a lot simpler when it was just me, earn my own money, pay my own bills. If I go back, it'll be a lot cheaper and I could maybe rent a room out. I'll be a lot happier when there's some ££ in the bank. I'm thinking about ringing someone (family) for a loan today to just be able to rent a van and move out. I'm on edge, I'm not eating properly and I don't want any more finger pointing like yesterday.

God, as more of you turn up with experience of cheating partners who 'wanted a break', I'm starting to feel a bit of a fool. You can only trust people until they abuse it, can't you?

Trying not to get riled up at the fact he asked if he could use my name on a goods finance application all of 5 days ago. Only about 1500 quid, but still, why would you do that if you were thinking about dumping me?

The more I think about it, the 'let's just have a break' really is just an insurance policy isn't it? It's a case of, fuck off so I can see what's out there and if i dont find anything better, we'll get back together, alright? Not alright.

Changey if you have already signed up for that loan, most financial agreements legally have to have a 14 cooling off period, I suggest you withdraw from that pronto. On less bit of common debt to worry about!

Please don't feel foolish, you went into this relationship in good faith, it was HIM that fucked up not you.

You deserve better, remember that!

Get your named off that finance thing today! Or take the goods with you!

Selfish frigging wanker!!

Of course you still love him. Two days ago you were planning your life with him, the fact that he had changed his mind doesn't mean your feelings just vanish like a cartoon 'poof'.

You sound so strong and that you have your head screwed on despite last nights wobble.

You are awesome and he will never get anywhere near as good as you ever again!

Keep going, changey

Don't be the little woman under his big-man spell...you can do better than that

and I sincerely hope you didn't sign that finance agreement

No, we didn't apply for the loan in the end, but I'm just randomly remembering things that have a different complexion with hindsight. This is to be expected, I suppose.

We have been civil today and we are going to talk later today about some practical things like the tenancy and money. Cross your fingers for me.

x-d

GOod luck: That other poster is right about 'We need a break' meaning 'I fancy my chances elsewhere but if that doesn't work out I want to be able to come back to my home comforts'.

Hey, been following your thread, just wanted to to check in and send you hugs. How are you doing today?