The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Hello everyone. I'm sorry to hear about your friend noteven and the children she has left behind. How old are they? It's so sad she couldn't stay stopped.

Yesterday was better than the day before and I only had half a glass of wine at a friend's but I feel a bit cross because I was intending not to drink at all. It seemed easier to have a drink than refuse it and go into why I wasn't drinking. Funny thing is I didn't want more than the one glass and there are occasions when I can easily have just one or two. I know this can be dangerous though because it makes me believe I can control my drinking and it's OK to open a bottle at home alone. And then I'm on the slippery slope again...Anyone else identify with that?

JWN I so enjoyed reading your post yesterday - as someone essentially quiet (albeit with a strong personality which some people find hard to take), I can see exactly why I started to drink and how it seemed to make the world a more comfortable place. Now I would love to be able to face everything without the crutch that is alcohol.

noteven hello, I am so sorry about your friend from aa. What a terrible shock. Will pray for her and her family. It is unbearably sad for them. The children will find it very hard, are they old enough to understand what has happened? I wish you all strength and brightness for the funeral. I am sure if she can make her legacy helping you and through you helping others not drink then that will be a fine thing.

slowly it is the slippery slope that lands us in this mess! I am just trying not to project and take it one day at a time, because if you say 'I'm never drinking again' you pile on the pressure and start justifying having just one... As JWN says it's just managing the cravings, and they don't last too long... But I know how strong and insistent and horrible they can be.

Morning all.

Such sad news about your friend, Noteven. Would you like to tell us more about her? How are you feeling today? Like you said, there but for the grace of God go I, and that will apply to many people I'm sure :( I hope you can stay strong. And maybe her death will give you just a bit more determination to beat the demon. So sad. I will be thinking of her family x

CountyWicklow, if you've got a problem, and no-one else can help and if you can find them then maybe you can hire shout out to The A Team , BB Swat Team :) This is absolutely the right place to talk. If you send out an S.O.S. one of the Brave Babes will respond as soon as possible (I tested this theory myself the other night...:)). How are you feeling today? That is really awful about your MIL. The poor thing. It's very difficult for you to hear, too, I completely understand your mixed feelings. Feel free to talk more on here. Better out than in.

Slowly hope you're OK. Keep telling us what you're thinking and feeling.

OneSunny I hope you're feeling more positive this morning. Did you manage to stop at just the half glass last night?

Mouse did you sing?! How was the do?

Saf, you sound like you're doing well at the moment. You certainly sound quite calm. Do you not care about the drinking because you're not worried about it, as opposed to because you're just feeling hopeless?? Hope it's the first option. To be honest your drinking is very different to mine and lots of others on here and I don't know all the gory details but it sounds like you only drink very small amounts. Obviously it's how YOU feel about it that's important so if you're drinking within the guidelines and you feel OK then I'd say you are OK :) You can think about fine-tuning it another time if there are changes you'd like to make. You seem so much better than you did a few weeks ago, so I hope you're feeling pleased with how well you're doing. :)

Venus gosh I can't imagine what an empty-nest must feel like :( . It sounds as though you have been a great mother though (and obviously you still are). And the DD you spoke about recently sounds like a wonderful person, I hope you are proud, of her and of your 'job well done'. It must be very difficult to adjust to just being with your DP (and obviously I have no words of wisdom as I can't get a minute's peace here ) but I hope you can learn to love this new, liberating stage of your life too. And I can't imagine your life ever being dull to be honest. Maybe you could leave DP at home to rest whilst you go out and do some fun/interesting/stimulating stuff?

JWN, great post yesterday. So much of this 'journey' is about self-discovery and self-acceptance isn't it? You can't live a lie. Pretending/trying to be someone you're not is exhausting and unsustainable. I am starting to accept myself for what I am. So I'm not an extroverted, super-confident, sociable animal? So what? It doesn't mean I'm a bad person. It doesn't mean I deserve to live an unhappy life. And my family DO deserve to have a happy me around them. I accept myself, love myself and therefore receive love without question. Well that's the theory anyway :o

Anyway, I'd better go and get dressed etc. Far too much deep-thinking pre-shower

Oops ignore the half glass comment OneSunny, that was meant for Slowly

I only had half a glass of wine at a friend's but I feel a bit cross because I was intending not to drink at all. It seemed easier to have a drink than refuse it and go into why I wasn't drinking

Slowly if you don't want to drink there is absolutely no reason why you should. Isn't it daft that we would rather put our own sobriety and health at risk than possibly offend a friend? . Isn't it daft that anyone needs to give a reason for not drinking, it is such a big part of our culture unfortunately.

Anyway, reasons for not drinking: I'm on antibiotics, I've got a headache. I'm really thirsty I'd love a soft drink, I'm driving later, I'm on a diet, I'm cutting back.

Controlled drinking is definately the slippery slope unless you can keep a really tight control which requires constant vigilance. I prefer to have days when I know for sure I am not drinking. It takes the battle out of it a bit. And when the cravings hit I am more prepared to resist because I have already made the decision not to drink so there is no internal dialogue to deal with.

Hope this makes some sense to you .

noteven so sorry about your friend, such a short life.

noteven I'm so sorry about your friend. What a terrible waste, and I'm so sorry for her DCs.

When I was growing up I was 'best friends' with 2 other girls. We all had different 'stately homes' backgrounds. One is dead (suicide, following years of drug addiction), one struggled with drug addiction and I think is on the booze, and the other is me.

I'm 40. I don't want to die, I've got lots I want to do. But I somehow keep getting sucked back into drinking dangerously. My health is suffering (stomach probs again this weekend) and I have frightened myself.

Sunny what tests did the GP do for you? Do you think you should go back and be honest about the drinking. Even if there is something alcohol related which requires treatment, you can stop it getting worse and maybe even reverse the damage. It's probably nothing serious but you will worry yourself sick with all the guessing.

If anyone cares to join me, today I will not be drinking .

noteven my thoughts are with you and your friend.

feeling bit better today, stayed in bed until noon and DH brought the sunday papers and a cup of tea for me. He must surely be gagging for it
Sorry, to those who don't know the back story, that sounds terribly ungrateful - it WAS kind of him.
he and DS are currently trying to build a hige mechanica lmarble run - going to have to go in and seperate them soon, by the sound of things.
Back to trawling the net to find a holiday cottage which we like, can afford and is available. No luck so far.....
Thurso how are things with DH?
Silver my friend, talk to me. Shall we go for a virtual walk in the sunshine?
mousie how is wee nemo today?
silly faire venus indie and all the new people I haven't got to know yet - hi to you all.

Hi Faire she asked me about my symptoms and had a listen to my belly with the stethoscope. She said it's wind trapped in my intestines, and it's flaring up because I've been eating and drinking rubbish. The tablets she's given me are having an effect, but the amount I drank on Friday have made the pain flare up again. And the drink will have reduced the effectiveness of my anti-depressants, so I'm feeling a bit low. I'm sure it'll pass.

I'll join you in not drinking today. I didn't drink yesterday, which is good. :)

Fairenuff, yes it does make sense and yes controlled drinking takes an enormous amount of vigilance and seems to be something I can only do for a while and then I become complacent and it all goes out the window.

Also with my so-called controlled drinking, I'd maybe only drink two nights a week but then I'd have a whole bottle each time which officially constitutes a binge! May I ask how much you allow yourself to drink on your drinking days?

Slowly it varies. If it's lunch or a long evening I try to alternate with soft drinks, so maybe one glass per hour. If I'm dancing I mostly switch to water. If it's a meal, probably two glasses. The worst time for me is at home in the evening when, in the past, I was drinking a whole bottle most days.

So now, if I'm home, I don't drink. If I'm out socialising, I try to drink mindfully. I have stopped going out with the heavy drinkers I used to associate with, unless I'm driving, or I arrange to get DH to pick me up at a sensible time.

I suppose I am being a bit boring and sensible at the moment, but I would far rather do that and be happy and healthy than suffer the hangovers and guilt and worry that used to plague me.

Long term plan is to attempt to socialise without alcohol so that I do go out more. First I need to find some new friends who do not see alcohol as the focal point of fun. Actually, I do have three friends who don't drink just because they don't really like it, so I am not a total hermit .

Hey Babes

Been at A&E all day with DM - more falls and blood in urine - she's been admitted so will see what tomorrow brings..................

Noteven - my thoughts are with you

Need to go and zombify infront of TV.......

Have more energy to talk tomorrow xxxxxx

Sorry to hear that Silver, best wishes to you and your DM (hugs).

Thank you to all for the lovely supportive messages, and I am thinking of so many of you, I wish you were closer so I could be of help.

I guess I have seen more than I had before, and I don't really get it. So I will keep doing what I am doing, encouraging those who have newly realised they have a problem, if only by seeing how bad it can get, if the disease is allowed to progress.

Hello everyone

Had friends here for lunch, food was delicious and no-one drank, wchich was great

Lovely sunny day. However, DH has just plummeted really badly. Was fine, then suddenly looked a bit weird, said he couldn't cope sitting with the children while they had their tea and went to bed at 6 and hid under the pillows, shutting out all the sound and light. He is now asleep I think.

Hey noteven take care. The news of your friend must have knocked you for six. Stay strong.

Faire great that you have managed to control how you drink and are able to enjoy it without the hangovers/guilt. I'm still unsure if I can manage to control it so think it's probably best if I just say to myself on a day to day basis that I won't be drinking.

And just wanted to say thank you to everyone for your support this weekend. I feel so much better tonight than when I posted on Friday evening.

you are most welcome slowly!

hi just a quick post and run as it is schooltime. but i've been reading about niacin at a friends recommendation (supposed to help with all sorts of things relating to my health) and as a sideline found out that it has been associated with links to alcoholism - something to do with conversion of tryptophan into niacin and different people doing so at different levels of efficacy. apparently the AA guy bill whatisname was well into it and got all of his fellow alcoholics to take it and had very good results. there's a lot of contradictory evidence out there but ?? thinking it's worth mentioning. apparently alcoholics have a higher need for niacin and the alcohol does something in the whole process - bit complicated for me but i reckon adding a niacin (B3) supplement is worth a go.

Morning all . Niacin eh? Who'd have thought it. But, as you say Saf, could be worth a try.

Well, it's Monday, new week, new start, still on the diet, here goes week 3 . . .

Today I will not be drinking .

Have a lovely, lovely day. Be calm, be peaceful, find something that makes your heart warm.

Morning

Hi Faire, how are you doing? How is the diet? I've lost some focus and have put on a couple of pounds unfortunately. I think it might have something to do with drinking Ovaltine several times a day (my new soother!), loads of biscuits, and pancakes for breakfast Oh well, I know what I need to do. I'm really impressed with your controlled drinking. I want to be like you!

Saf that niacin theory sounds interesting. Will look into it. I'm already taking a 'Super B Complex' supplement so that might cover it but I'm not sure. Hope you got a good night's sleep last night. It sounds like a great plan re your mum looking after DS. That should give you a decent break, enough for you to properly recharge your batteries

Christi, how is DH? He sounds in a bad way. It must be so hard for both of you. Hope he's feeling better this morning.

Silver, hope things go OK with your mum today. You're right - cancer is a bastard

Hope everyone else has woken up with a massive boing (although preferably not your DH, Ma). No boing here but my cold is finally going so I feel physically fine. Bit stressed and anxious but I guess that's no surprise. I'm not sure I'd recommend going through the emigration process at the same time as throwing away your main crutch and trying to sort out a lifetime's worth of issues.... Although if I was sat here hungover (yet again) I would be feeling overwhelmed and procrastinating like mad. At least I'm tackling it all head on now. Well I'd better get on with my list.

Have good days everyone. Day 22 here. Today I will not be drinking

Morning all and boingy thoughts and vibes speeding everyone's way!!

Morning everyone

I would have boing... but don't because I am so worried about DH

Also, at work, I am leading a team and it's newly put together and there is a man who is meant to be in my team who obvoiusly thinks he is 'above it' and I am really struggling. He gives me one word answers and is just pretty awful towards me, rebutting things I say. I know this sounds pathetic, but I need help to cope with it. I lose all my confidence with his bolshy horrid ways. Does anyone have any tips? I feel like crying, it's not helping on top of my worry of DH (how can men be so different, DH so vulnerable and this bloke from the office is so aggressive)

Anyone that drinks moderately and/or heavily should be taking a B vitamin as alcohol abuse can lead to a vitamin B12 deficiency.

I was told to take a high dose of Vitamin B's (including Thiamine and niacin) ie 100MG by a doctor who specialising in Alcohol addiction.
It is a standard procedure to prescribe a high dose of this when detoxing to prevent Wernicke?s encephalopathy.