The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Sunny - here, have a {({({(HUG)})})} I'm so sorry that you feel down today. I guess you're beating yourself up about it? The drinking I mean?

When you say 'fertility issues' I assume that you and your partner have been trying? You already know that you drinking reduces the chances of getting pregnant. The same applies to your partner, the more he drinks, the less chance he has too. You know all this which is why you're so upset and cross with yourself.

Please go and see a GP about your abdominal issues, it's unlikely to be alcohol related unless you are a heavy drinker on a regular bases, I mean lots of units, ever day, for months at a time. If you're bloated, it could be any number of things, bowel, stomach, water retention.... us girls don't half get some rather crappy health issues!

Forget last night but hold on to the feeling you woke up with this morning. Try and remember it every time you fancy some booze. How easy was that for me to say? Really easy. For me to do it would be something different entirely some days. Pot, kettle, black and all that, do as I say, not as I do? Yep, I can drink if I want to and most days, I do want to, but I need to be controlled. I have to exercise caution, restraint, if I make the choice to drink.

Sunny - I hope that as the evening goes on, you'll get yourself in the bath, with something lush, some nice bath products and try to just gather your thoughts. Tomorrow is a new day. What you do with it what you will but stop the cycle.

Change direction. Stop torturing yourself, go see the GP about your health and be kind to yourself xx

hi all
Dh has agreed that we both have 4 days non-drinking a week. Says he will try too. don't know if this is a good thing or not but will give it a try. My first week in January was very good, second was rubbish, so maybe 3rd will be good too.
On another note, for those of you who have a God and a Faith, please can you remember my dear friend Harry Fleming who died last night.. No longer suffering, thank God, from cancer of the throat and stomach, but will be sadly missed. The kindest, smiliest, gentlest man I've ever met. Ceilidh's just won't be the same without Harry to dance with or to play the moothie.
Rest well, Harry

Ma I am sorry for your loss, a friend will stay in your heart forever.
X

My thoughts go out to Harry tonight. I don't have a God but I do believe that something is out there.

I'm so sorry to hear your news Ma.

On a + note, I'm very pleased to read that DH knows just how much your and indeed his sobriety means to your marriage.

Who knows, tomorrow could be the first day of the rest of your life. xxxx

Just popping in to say goodnight.

Hopefully, you are all safe and sound this evening, waiting for Sherlock to start and then bed. Night xxx

So sorry for your loss Ma.

Thanks Mouse, I know alcohol affects fertility but it's not the only factor for us by a long shot. I'm going to see the dr later this week, it's a new job and I'm worried about taking Monday off the week after they knew I was going out. I suspect me worrying about the abdominal pain being booze-related is guilt and fear.

So sorry, Ma. He sounds like a lovely man. Rest in peace Harry.

OneSunny, I hope you feel better tomorrow and hopefully the doctor will be able to help with the stomach problems. Good luck with the fertility issues, too. Don't beat yourself up about last night. Does no good. In fact I think it makes me worse in some ways. Actually, hold on to just enough regret to stop you drinking tomorrow Tomorrow is a whole new day as the rather wise Mouse said before.

Nice boinging Faire! I have been boinging rather a lot despite my crazily busy day. On day 14!! I feel bloody brilliant

Hope all the Babes are doing well. Christi, I hope you're OK? Look after yourself (as well as everyone else) won't you?

Sleep well everyone

thanks all. had to tell DD2 in Spain who ADORED Harry - despite the 50+ age difference, they were absolute soul mates.
have just been on Skype with her - Skype would be so much better if you could reach through the screen to hug someone in tears [wobble]
life is hard sometimes...

Ma that is so feking shite.

why do people have to twatting die??

love to all

mad mother weekend so not had time to post BUT interesting news on the naltrexone front. very very wierd but good.

Night babes xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

good morning all
all silvery, sparkly frost outside this morning. new Chief Exec starts today and will be at desk next to mine. Gulp! Hope he's as nice as the last one.
Had an email from former one wishing me luck and suggesting "extra-wide" gaffer tape over my mouth for the first few days to stop me putting my foot in it!
Moi? Tact is my middle name.....

Morning Ma and all Babes,

Good luck for today Ma I'm sure you won't need it. New CE will love you (in the best possible taste, of course .

Have good Mondays all
xxxx

Morning all

Had to de-frost the car this morning. How exciting. (I live a simple life, I do).

Ma so sorry for you and dd at the loss of your good friend. Aren't we blessed to have any time with wonderful people who enrich our lives. It's all precious. Hope it goes well today.

Silver I am intrigued, do tell . . .

Sunny please get yourself off to the GP. You are probably worrying over nothing and if it is something you can get started on treatment. Could be one of any number of things, not alcohol related, so just be honest with the doc. x

Happy Monday babes

Morning, felt massive urges last night but 'rode the wave'. I am trying to get into a feeling of accepting the desire but focussing just on that - saying to myself 'oh, this is hard.' Because life can be hard. This is just a fact, and overcoming the urge can be difficult. But life is hard, and not because of anything I have done, or I have thought, or anyone else has done.

It helped when I went for a long, beautiful walk yesterday with a friend. I recounted some of the stuff that has happened to me over the last few years and realised I've had to cope with an awful lot. And I am still here. So I do have strength and I am worth looking after, even if it's just me doing the looking after.

Hope today goes well ma - and we don't expect to see you on here during working hours - well you've got to make a good impression for at least a couple of days

silver looking forward to hearing continued 'good' stuff about your naltrexone.

christi your phrase about 'accepting the desire' and getting over it reminds me of a friend who is a down-to-earth (and a bit unsympathetic) GP. She was telling me about one of her overweight patients who was trying to loose weight but kept eating because she felt hungry. My friend said something along the lines of well yes, feeling at least a little hunger, and learning not to give in to it, IS usually part of how you loose weight. As I said she's not massively sympathetic, but it did make me think about the culture that we live in that wants everything to be 'instant weight loss' or 'gain without pain' or the easy way to stop smoking/drinking/whatever... Sometimes there might also be a place for some good old fashioned hard work and determination (and support from others).

Morning all.

So sorry Ma.

Silver is it big O related?

Well done Cristiane. Sometimes going with the flow is all you can do- but it really is an action rather than giving up, so know that you're doing the right thing, rather than just passively resisting!

Guilt and fear and definite pain inducers, but sounds good to check it out anyway.

Gaffer tape whaen needed and sobriety all round!

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Silver - I'm so pleased to see your posts are still here and that you're posting so much. xx

Christi - what venus said is the same as the thoughts I had.

I am trying to get into a feeling of accepting the desire but focussing just on that - exactly. If you can accept that you will crave a drink, you will talk yourself in to or out of a drink depending on your mood, but if you know that those feelings are coming, then I think that will make you much more in control of your evenings.

You have and still are dealing with a hell of a lot. Most of it is emotional baggage. Your partner is draining a lot of your energy because of his own emotional needs......... it's hard to stay cheery when all you want to do is sleep and forget who you are for a while, forget that you have responsibilities etc.

Keep going, keep listening to yourself as you grow stronger again. xxxx

Morning babes! I'm back on the bus/wagon after my weekend away. So, I drank three nights in a row, but not huge amounts. No hangovers, but lots of interrupted sleep. To be honest though, the drinking part itself wasn't as much 'fun' as I'd anticipated, and I'm now looking forward to being as healthy as possible and feeling as good as I can for the next ten weeks.

OneSunny, its taken me a while to realise it but I've finally worked out that alcohol gives me terrible stomach bloating and cramps. All weekend I've been carrying my stomach out in front of me like I'm six months pregnant, and have been having ummmm...wind problems, shall we say. I think I have some sort of IBS issues anyway though, as I can't drink milk anymore either (gives me the same bloating and cramps). So I'm going to see how my stomach fares being off alcohol totally for ten weeks.

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Ma.

Hey Babas

Thing unfortunately no not connected to the big O

It was just odd - I had to take DD out at 6pm and collect her at 7.15pm last night. Now normally I'd be a bottle down by that time on a Sunday. Normally I would have manipulated the whole situation so that DP as least collected her so that I could start drinking as soon as I dropped her off (no not in the car - when I got home ) It didn't even enter my head to wrangle and wrestle with reasons DP should collect her or try to put it on him. I just accepted that I was doing the pick up and drop off - even when he was on his way home and it would have been the obvious thing to do for him to collect her. Last week I would have found a way however hard, to get DP to do both journeys because the thought of waiting till 7.30pm on a Sunday for a drink was so unbloodythinkable............

It wasn't a conscious thing but I realised at about 5 pm that I hadn't spent the day exhausting myself with ways of not having to drive so that I could drink - in the past I would have resorted to persuading her not to go or suggesting it would be a lovely walk .

I haven't had the nausea side effects this time and have been able to sleep apart from waking at 4.00am - 5.00am..............

The amounts i am drinking are less - not massively so but i know the difference and my drinking is losing it's desperate quality ifyswim.

Am also reading the Jason Vale book (Thank The Lord for creating Kindles ) and that is kind of reinforcing the message mentally - thanks for the recomendation btw.

So - we shall see

Off to read back

xxxxxxxxx

Hello Babes,

just in, then out again, but had to apologise Ma for what must have seemed like my crass message this morning. I didn't read back, only your message this morning, and I didn't realise that you had lost one of your dear friends this weekend. Thoughts and prayers are with you. xxxx

i'm back - fast reader

Also I forgot to say the Dr Chick recommended that I take the campral as well - apprently a study in Germany showed that the naltrexone and campral together gave the best outcome.

I seem to have lost the ability to spell/type tho!

Aslo while i'm on a roll - dm is at hospital having chemo today - it was agreed ds took her and i collected her - ds has a toddler and i can't see dm perched on back of bd's moped somehow and we never know how late it's going to be when she is finished. In the past i would have accepted that i had to do it but it would have filled me with horror that i maight not get a drink till after midnight . Today not really bothered - well i am a bit - but nothing like i would have been - i would have thought of nothing else all day..............

Christie stick with it lovely - you are dpoing brilliantly

off for a swim and sauna i think

Ma - you'll knock his socks off despite is lack of a sense of humour

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Just back from the hospital. My doctor apologised unreservedly for not seeing me sooner, he thought that I'd discharged myself from his care because he sent me an appointment out for this procedure last fricking JUNE!!!

He says I need another MIR on my neck as he thinks the disease is in the upper part of my neck now too, the numbness and tingling in my left arms indicates that the discs are degenerating there as well as in my lower spine.

I go in next week for the injections into my lower spine first, hopefully just a day case and he'll assess the upper neck after the MRI. So, there you have it. Everything that was supposed to be done last June is being dealt with and I should start to feel better next Wednesday, for around three months.

At which point they may repeat the procedure, depending on just how successful the first round of injections goes. To be honest, now it's so near, I'm shitting myself. I hate having GAs. Eeek.

It's gone really cold out there again so DH has just lit the log burner. Lovely. I fancy a snooze but have more chance of winning the lottery!

It's very quiet on here today..........

Oh Mouse that is good news. Finally, something is being done for you and I know you're dreading it but just think, you may be pain free for a while. Let's hope it works. What a shame you had to wait this long but at last you are getting some help .

Silver that's massive progress. And the more you realise you can do without it, the less you will rely on it. It just gets better .

Thanks Faire

The thought of waking up without any pain seems totally alien to me now. I'm just so used to it all......

Right, feeding time at the zoo, be back later xx