The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Does he forget to look at his phone then? How else can he forget?

No he looks at it. Then gets distracted by something. Original reason for looking at phone vanishes.

I am beginning to think he just doesn't think anything is important. I am scared by how empty I am feeling about all of this.

Is he taking his meds, like mouse said?

Cristiane,

I have also had that empty I just don't care anymore feeling. It's horrible, I have thought "well, I can do all the stuff, so don't bother and off".

I don't really like to think about it as things have been so much better in the last few months. But although I don't like to go over it ..
When Dh is ill, nothing is important except how he feels, that may be feeling very bad about what it's doing to us as a family, or just wanting to go to bed to be out of it all (I know that feeling, it just takes me in a different way!!).
I went to the dr's once with Dh, and he couldn't even think straight to log in for his appointment, much like forgetting the reason for looking at the phone.

I think, and hope I'm not being too familiar, that Dh needs to get to the doctors again, just to say what's been happening.

You have my every sympathy,and empathy Cristiane, if there's anything I can do ...

"and off" had a swear in the middle!!!

Yes, taking his meds. He has been like this for a while.

Thurso I am glad that things are better.

I think he needs to go back to the doctor. I think you are right. I have had to take him there before in much the same way when he was so down he didn't even seem to be living life in the same space to the rest of us. It is now different but I cannot cope with it any better.

at fairemuff - it's great to see that you've not lost your sense if humour Christi.

Off to cook dinner, I hope that your nights are quiet and what you need them to be. Please Babes, please take your time tonight. Let the real you out for sure but just be careful that you don't get caught up in a battle that you'll never win.

Save yourselves the battle and bide your time Babes. You can do this and you will. Just don't let the booze fuel your fires tonight.

Off to kill the cow and cook a steak.

Night night all. be safe and be true xxxxxxxxxx

thank you all for the wishes. i have had a lovely day..
we scrapped the dinner out in the end and then we went up the coast to a wee fishing village and rocky beach (Crail - for those of you who know the area). it is the DCs favourite beach for rockpools, been going there for years. Out of sheer habit i start packing dry socks, change of clothes, plastic bags for wet clothes, box for shells, wet wipes.... DH reminded me it was the middle ofJanuary!! so we made a flask of hot chocolate and went for a scramble over the rocks and then had fish and chips in Anstruther. Got home and had a bubbly bath and glass of water . DD1 and DS made a fabulous coffee and walnut cake and we are too stuffed for dinner, so DH will cook his planned meal tomorrow.
DH gave me a voucher for a spa day...it's for two. Who shall i take......?

Mouse and Ma, it sounds like you've both had great days! Brilliant Am going to have to google VC though (I feel me of all people should know what it is - I'm guessing some kind of disgusting, bubbly type of cat's piss?? Don't fancy that at all .

Christi, Blimey you are not having an easy ride at the moment. But here is exactly the right place for you to vent/dump/shout/cry or whatever How is DH's memory when it comes to his interests (if he has any) or meeting his friends? Just wondering. He sounds in a bad way. You must feel exhausted and with all the responsibility for everything being on your shoulders you must feel under so much pressure. Hope your DD is OK tonight and that you can stay as calm as possible. Easier said than done I know.

Gotta go. Two DC crying at once!!

MA MA MA

OVER HERE

TAKE ME TAKE ME TAKE ME

PS I am only capable of inane but hopefully witty responses tonight...the rest of it all has wiped me out x

waves at Silver.I MIGHT take you.....what's it worth to me?

Hello everyone

Demented the beach sounds fabulous! What a great day out

Thanks everyone for good advice and encouragement. I realised that last time not drinking made the 'other stuff ' flood back... And it's happening again. Re life flooding back, not the drinking at least this time.

I don't know what to think but there are a LOT of emotions whirring round my head. DH still out with girls, worried about dd2 being out this late because she needs to be in bed and get her next round of antibiotics in.

While they have been away I have finished my audio book (Penelope lively, Family Album, liked very much) and listened to music while cleaning whole house. Kept me busy and not thinking about the red wine. Now drinking belvoir ginger cordial and eating salad. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

silly DH diesn't have that many interests but I wouldn't say his memory s many better with that really. He's good with people.

I need to take him back to doctor though.

Christi, sorry I can't think of any helpful to suggest apart from agree that he needs to see his GP again. And it sounds more important than ever that you look after yourself too, which is what you're doing by the sounds of it. You've got far too much going on at the moment but it could be a whole lot worse if you were drinking. Which of course you know. Well done for not giving in to the demon drink Hope your DD's OK.

Just worked out what VC is! Spot the Co-op cava girl!!

Ah VC used to be my favourite. One of my favourites... Love the colour n the label x

Just in time to wish Mouse and Ma Happy Birthday, it sounds like you both had a lovely day.
Christi no advice I'm afraid, but a (()) from me, try to look after yourself through all of this.

For all of those getting a decent stretch of days under your belt it is time to think of rewarding yourselves.

Add up the number of days x the cost of what you would have been drinking. eg 10 days x £5 bottle of wine = £50 to spend on treat for yourself. What will you get? A manicure? New clothes? Pay someone to clean your oven? Think of something you couldn't justify or think you were 'worth' whilst you were drinking.
This is big money that you are saving, so make a plan on what to do with it. If you can't think of spending it all on yourself, get yourself a little treat and then start a savings jar/account for the rest. You could save up for a family day out, holiday money, christmas...
In my early days of sobriety each time I got to £50 saved (which didn't take long, since I was drinking a least a fiver worth a day, and twice that at weekends) I bought myself a small reward, now I pay for a cleaner for a couple of hours a week and don't think about whether I can justify it or not, I never thought twice about paying for my wine supplies....
Just an idea for a little extra motivation

Morning bproud element idea. I fancy some new underwear and a pedicure...

I also have a big list of things I really want but need to take it step by step - word burning stove, new bathroom, bunk beds for kids, attic space, holiday in the sun...

I dreamt about our battle bus last night! I clambered on... After dreaming about drinking a glass of champagne... Won't through all the guilt and remorse and very relieved it wasn't true when I woke up.

DH didn't talk to me when they got back last night, just went to bed with dd2.

Element idea?! Excellent idea! I mean

Morning Christi was DD2 Ok when they got home?

I have been thinking about your DH forgetting appointments etc. Does he do the initial arranging or do you sort everything and then tell him what he has to do? Could you bear to pass ALL the responsibility on to him, so that he 'owns' it, he has to do all the rearranging if he forgets something etc. Also I don't know how old the DC are - but can they try remember their own appointments, badger to be taken to school etc, great life skills for them to learn some independence. You cannot do everything yourself. X

Things like dd2's appointments arrive by post. He has school run to do himself. One morning last week I got up and made the pack lunch for Dd1 and laid out clothes the night before etc, he noted how much easier it was than his normal rush. But doesn't mean he'll do it by himself. Things that should run smoothly don't.

He is rubbish at any deadlines. It is better that we have a nanny three days a week but I hate it. If I leave the onus of responsibility on him it doesn't get done and our children's health and education is too important.

Sorry Christi it sounds really hard.

I think you are right that he needs to go back to GP. Keep unloading here, it helps to have a chance to share, I think. I know it sounds trite, but family life does get easier as the DC get older.

Just one other thought/memory: when my DC were little and I felt completely overwhelmed, I cut right back on extra curricular stuff for all of us, no after school activities to rush to, no sleepovers in my house for the DC, no helping with PTA, committees, baking for fetes etc for me. I just did it for a couple of terms, so we could all have a breather. DC did not suffer, they may have been a bit bored for a few weeks, but it made me feel like I was coping a lot better, and I learnt how to say no for the future rather than allowing myself to get over burdenned.

Tough times christi, tough times. And fantastic that you are still facing it without a drink. Drinking may fool you into thinking that you're having some temporary relief, but it doesn't make the problems go away, and it certainly doesn't make them any better for your dds.

I agree with bproud about cutting back on activities that make you too busy, and use all the help you can get (including the nanny) to simplify things for you and keep them on an even keel.

I'd suggest meeting up for a coffee, but that might just add more onto your list of things you feel you ought to do.

ma ME, ME, ME for the spa. You see, I'm not one of these fit young things, I'm a plump old bird, so by comparison you'd emerge from the spa feeling sprightly and slender and elegant

Thanks Venus, I have emailed you

I try not too do much - attempted PTA but had to resign!

I do want to see friends though as it keeps me sane. Hard when dd2 so ill, but she is better today, still rattly but managing on fewer puffs.

Morning, morning, morning

Day 7 for me and I feel fantastico! That enough boing for you SSSM?

Bproud what a fab idea and a timely reminder. Christi I thought 'element' was some new cool phrase that I wasn't aware of. Glad you corrected it or I would have started using it with my teenage dcs. And they already look at me at bit when I, like, try to converse in their 'lingo' innit .

Glorious day here, dh has gone for a bike ride and I'm off to put some washing on the line.

Speak later x

It is a beautiful day here. Walked along the water of Leith with a girlfriend. Bliss.

Hello all

Despite my best intentions I did end up drinking last night, and am still in bed. I feel awful, not just hangover / tired but I've had abdominal issues that have been getting worse since Xmas. I'm terrified it's to do with my drinking, but realistically it could be any one of a number of things. I feel bloated and nauseous and have done so on and off for ages. (Pregnancy is less than likely given our fertility issues). Feeling very sorry for myself today. :(