The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Saf if you get a chance to read back you will see we have been asking after you. We missed you, glad you're ok my lovely

Isindie where do I pin the medal? To get that far and then turn back takes some resolve. Day 1 has been pretty painless for me, I have to admit and it's nearly over as I'm off to bed with a cup of peppermint & fennel tea and a good book

Night all x

evening - silver, im really really hoping you come back, i will say though that im worried that you are looking for a 'magic cure' and keep clutching at anything that you think may work, i honestly believe that at the end of the day only YOU can do this, its all too easy to cheat a system and i think that you know that!, you can take all the tablets in the world, have all the therapy, all the navel gazing, detoxes, rehabs and trips to america etc etc YOU have to find the strength from inside yourself to not cheat, do a programme and mean it! - i dont know if you will ever find that strength, i think it can be a very elusive thing to find for some people and you have my total sympathy, alcoholism is a vicious disease and is a different experience for each sufferer -
i want you to wake up and feel the same hope for the future that i have, have the same peace of mind and tranquility that i hold so dear, like everyone on here though, i can only help you by using my own experiences, they may not fit with yours but it is meant from the heart! please dont take off in a fit of peak because someone challenged you, it wasnt done with malice, only a desire to understand and may be help you

• tbh, the above goes for anyone else on here that may not like what they read, only you know what can help you, i have to the skim the posts about controlled drinking and what i often see as whining about not drinking during the week and the unfairness of it, often i im sat here thinking 'well, poor fucking you, fancy having to wait till friday night for a glass of chablis' my heart bleeds! the feeling soon fades and i regain my grip!

jwn you speak a lot of sense

silver I hope you are ok

Isinde I would love, love, love a fancy, organic, wooden compost bin!!! Going to sulk now. Wrinkle cream FFS. Well done on walking past the offie. Another day done

Well done Obrigada too.

Good to hear from you Saf. Hope all is well.

Night, Faire. I'm off to Sleepsville now. Cream crackered. But sober! Cant deny I fancied a glass or two tonight but I'm not giving in yet. Not when so many of you are going to be steaming ahead into double figures. Not that I'm competitive or anything...

Sleep well Babes

Hi, it's me again bothering you all with another question. I hope you don't mind, but I really don't know who else to ask.

My cousin dropped the bombshell that she has a drink problem last week. She says she only started drinking excessively a few months ago, and in the last few weeks it escalated to drinking pretty much all day and all night, 30+ units (vodka) in each 24 hours.

On Saturday morning she admitted that she couldn't look after her toddler (she's a single mum), so my Mum collected him and brought him to my house an hour away, where we now are. My cousin was admitted to hospital as she was quite unwell by this time.

She has had Librium since then, and is being discharged tomorrow. I haven't seen her but she sounds as if she's doing well, and hasn't found the detox process unpleasant at all from what she says. She has seen an alcohol counsellor, and has an appointment tomorrow afternoon with Adaction.

Her Librium finishes on Friday, and she says she would like to have her son back in her care at the weekend.

I'm worried. She started drinking because she was lonely in the evenings, and this won't change. I'm scared that, after such a short time since she stopped drinking, she won't be ready for the stresses of full time parenting on her own.

However, she misses her son terribly and it seems cruel to keep them apart. She says she'll be far more stressed if she doesn't have him. And of course he's her son, so it's not up to me really, but I feel an obligation to protect him.

There is no possibility of me or my Mum staying with her for a while, as I work and my Mum is quite old and frail and really not up to it. My cousin doesn't have any other family, and no reliable friends who could help out. Her support network is minimal, and is going to consist primarily of counsellors, who obviously can't be there all the time.

What do you think? Is it possible that she has recovered sufficiently in such a short time to be safely left alone in charge of a toddler? She lives over an hour away from me, and even further from my Mum, and I am also a single working parent, so frequent popping round isn't an option. I could invite her to stay here, but I think she needs to establish local counselling support with meetings etc, which wouldn't be possible if she was miles away. She doesn't drive either.

Any thoughts?

I'm not going anywhere

I will be back

I just need time to eeeerm get sober

or soberish

see you soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Midsomer

I can give you some idea of where she might be at as I've just been through a Librium detox myself (albeit at home).
Hopefully, HOPEFULLY,her alcohol team and I presume she will have a keyworker,will get her on some sort of plan of action-maybe some group therapy,AA meetings,SMART meetings etc.

She maybe offered some other drugs (or may actually have started them before she leaves hospital such as Campral which can help with the cravings.

As for the temptation of drinking,that is something that she will have to work through and you can only do that on your own-we can't have someone holding our hands 24/7.

Coming home and having her son to look after could be the right thing for her,it will occupy her and give her a reason to stay sober.

I was capable of looking after my child after detox,I was a bit wobbly and nervous but it was OK.I did it.

I say offer a ear if she needs to call up of a evening.Lots of praise!

I hope she can get childcare if she is offered group therapy or wants to go to meetings.That has been the main battle for me tbh and not the not drinking.

Suggest she gets in lots of soft,fizzy drinks/water,dvd's,books,sweets and that she occupies herself of a evening...Maybe direct over here :-)

I wish her well,she's been very brave hasn't she?

Glad to hear it Silver

Good Morning

Sorry Thing and Christi - and everyone else I have been short/rude to

I think it stems from total and utter frustration with myself and my inability to stop drinking.

I get so angry with myself and I took it out on you lot........

Got to get DD up and to school but will be around today - DM seeing her -consultant and maybe chemo today - I may be at the hospital late if she is given chemo but am around today..........

Laters Babes

xxxxxx

Not Think - know ffs why am I so weak.................

Morning Silver - don't beat yourself up, just find some time to sit down and work out (maybe whilst you are waiting at the hospital with your DM) about what you really want, and all the reasons you want it. And then force yourself to think about whether what you want is realistic, and use that to reassess and re-evaluate those goals.

So what I want is to be able to be a fun social drinker. But, and its a big but, I know that's not realistic - once I start drinking in a place where alcohol is freely available, I often don't stop until I'm making a tit of myself. I also don't think its realistic for me to say I'm never going to drink again - it just feels too final and too high a bar for me to aim for. So my re-evaluated goals are to enjoy 2 and no more than 2 drinks only on pre-defined special events (6 this year, already written down), and only in a home situation where there is no more alcohol available. So I'm always counting 2 different markers - first, the days since I last had a drink and second, the days until I will next have a drink.

It makes it feel all the more achievable for me, but stays in the territory of realistic based on my own tendency to be a pisshead.

At least you're in fighting spirits Silver, you could direct that towards the alcohol to help tell it to fuck the fuck off . Sorry for swearing so early in the morning .

Midsomer good advice from Thingumy. If she is not drinking, then she is not drinking and as long as she thinks she can cope with her ds, then he will be fine. It's kind of you to care and I think if you offer to have her son if she ever feels she needs a break, you will be helping her (and him) enormously.

Just bear in mind that this is not something that will ever be 'cured'. She needs to make that decision to not drink every singles day for the rest of her life. With support from professionals, family, friends and strangers (like us) she has every chance of living the life she chooses. She is probably as ready now as she will ever be to get on with her life because living without alcohol is her life now.

Also, if drinking that amount was fairly recent, there a good chance that it was triggered by something in her life, PND maybe? If she has help with whatever that was/is she may not have too much of a battle on her hands.

Right, off to face the day with a spring in my step this morning. Today I am happy to say I will not be drinking

You are not weak. You must be as strong as an ox to put yourself through this angst, drink so much, and still keep on going.

I was thinking about you last night. I was thinking that deep deep down in your heart, you know what you have to do, and I know you are strong, and you can do it. I hope that you can turn this frustration and anger into an amazing strength to tell the booze to fuck off. Show it who is boss, babe!

Morning!

Nice to see you posting silver .you didn't offend me!

I hear your frustration and anger,it's good to be angry with alcohol.

I went through a massive grieving period on the countdown to my detox.When something like alcohol has been crutch for many years-it's like losing a loved one when we know we need to say goodbye to it.

Sending you all strength

Morning all

Good to see you, Silver. I think that just coming back here and saying what you did shows just how determined you are, and how you are not weak or pathetic at all, far from it. It would have been so easy for you to go off in a sulk (I am ashamed to admit that I may have, if I had felt like you yesterday ). Yesterday would have provided a great excuse to get totally pissed and to forget about this thread altogether, and that would only take you in one direction... But you've pulled your big girls' pants up and got back on the bus! I sense a real determination from you, a real sense of you having had enough of all the drinking. I think you just might be about to change your life It's down to you...

Hi Midsomer. What Faire and Thingumy said . Your cousin is very lucky to have such a caring and thoughtful person on her side. It sounds as though she would be the first to know if she wasn't able to care for her son, and that she would ask you to take him if she was struggling with him. Having him back could be just the motivation that she needs to keep sober. If you could chat to her in the evenings maybe and make sure she's OK that would be a big help. I think you live a fair distance away so popping in during the week might be difficult, but could you maybe visit at the weekend, maybe even stay over Saturday night? That could be a potentially difficult time for her. Please let us know how she gets on.

Hello to everyone else. Have good days everyone. Today I will not be drinking. Day 9 for me

SSSM has said most of what I want to say, silver (except I would almost definitely be off in a sulk), so a big BRAVO to you for coming back and facing up to things. You're definitely on the right track.

Morning babes! Tired this morning, as MrT has a bad cold and was tossing and turning all night. I was quite relived to chuck him out of bed at four (he's on morning shifts) so I could get some sleep. However, I am only tired, and not hungover, which is a relief.

Have a good day babeses. xx

FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU WANKING SHITTING EVIL TWATTING CUNTING BASTARD BOOZE - YOU AND ME - OVER - FINITO - END OF - STICK IT UP YOUR TWATTING ARSE YOU TWAT - I WILL FUCKING BEAT YOU WITH A SHITTY STICK UNTIL YOU ARE OUT OF MY LIFE FOR GOOD....................

glad everyone is ok - strong emotions, bound to blow up sometimes, it's how you deal afterwards that is the real issue i think

haven't been on much because i've just been a bit of a shattered zombie of late. drinking every day but not to excess. recalled that i don't actually need much alcohol but i do like to drink something alcoholic tasting so have gone back to my dear friend tonic water. bizarre as it sounds i've been drinking sherry and tonic - like a little measure of sherry and a ton of tonic. i like the taste and a couple of those will last me all evening. so i'm doing ok with the moderation thing at the minute and that will do for now.

very glad to have ds back at school and a bit of routine going on again. holidays are lovely but i do tend to feel a sense of relief by the time they are over. this one was exhausting because of the meds change but made the most of it and it was nice too. meds are settling down and i've found a therapist who specialises in ptsd and it's long term effects (including substance abuse and other self destructive patterns). trauma and alcohol are close friends in my ishoos. hoping to be able to work with her. had a lot of flashbacks over the last month or so and think it's time to deal with stuff - scary but maybe the way forward.

anyway all is well.

well done to everyone who is abstaining and/or facing their issues around the drinking head on. the hard stuff is where the good stuff is to be found usually x

Silver - love it I have a great booze beating shitty stick lying around here somewhere, will have a hunt for it for you!

Saf, my friend, good to see you. You know I'm a big fan of therapy with the right person, I owe a lot to a good sounding-board with some sage advice tucked up her sleeve. Trauma and alcohol are indeed close friends.

You know I'm always around if you need to chat in the wee hours x

SAF

good to see you back and feeling better lovely xxxxx

and regarding school holidays - 'sense of relief '

eeerm - more like thank fuck that's over - went on forever -DD if you tell me one more time that you are bored I will lock you in the shed and leave you there until Easter.

Haven't actually got a shed - but you know what I mean

Right off for a shower - have taken naltrexone this morning. half dose to start with....we shall see xxxxxx

Morning, tis me, mouse

Well, this morning has started with DH shouting at a firm of builders who blocked our driveway with their lorry. Not only is it bloody rude, it's illegal to block access to or from a property.

My bath was lush last night and I slept so well. I can highly recommend a warm bubble bath followed by a bit of reading and bed.

Nemo woke up cold in the night (he's a cover kicker offer) I've tried all sorts of sleep bags but he hates his feet being covered up.

saf - good to see you posting again and great to see that you've found a therapist that you are happy to go and see. PTSD plays a HUGE part in my life, past and present. Going through the trauma when Nemo was born and other major events in my life have been locked away until such a time when I feel I can handle them.

I have let some things out with the support of a close friend who taught me how to gently release memories as not to overload my emotional well-being.

Oh and saf - you do know it's no longer Christmas don't you? Time to change your name back??

TheBoss - how are things with you? How has your day been so far?

Midsomer - you've had some fantastic advice, I was pleased to see a post from you

Right, Nemo's respite and a nurse are due soon, I better tidy a bit! The lounge looks like Toys R Us!

Today, I'm planning not to drink.

Morning, JWN your post earlier resonated a lot with me, but strangely enough it was with regard to smoking, I know I need to stop, but I now realise I have to WANT to stop, really, really want to, no amount of patches, nicotine gum, tablets are going to help me in the long run, I have to want it!!