The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Ooooops . . just realised I made a mistake in earlier post. Wonlt double figures until Tuesday.
silver what is "middle chid syndrome"? There are six children in my family. I am child number 3, does that make me a middle child? Am wondering coz can empathise with what you say about how you have never felt comfortable in your own skin.

night all. silver if you are coming to Scotland, call me. we can meet up
venus how are you and DD? Guess where I'm going for my birthday dinner on Saturday?

Hi silver I know the feeling, and I'm the eldest :)

Night all x

Night all.

Ma, good luck with Day 1 tomorrow, you can do it, you know you can!

obrigada I am listening to Family Album by Penelope Lively on an audio book, it's about a family with six children. Really interesting. Recommend. It sounds pretty incredible being at of a big family. I am one of four (youngest) but only have two children. I often wonder if one day I will wish I had had more.

right -I can only relate this to my own experience/family.

I am one of 5 children

Oldest
DB 53 ish born in the fifties to single mother - mixed race - his father was Nigerian musician in UK briefly. DM got pregnant and the father never knew. She brought him up with help of her DM while training to teach.

Only black kid at school his whole life - joined army at 15 - v talented musician but has along the way made HUGE mistakes (banged up abroad for drug trafficking for 5 years - only been home a year)

DM met DF who was married at the time. He left wife for DM. He had one DD with ex wife - my step sister older but didn't grow up in family unit - was with her Mum - all get on now very well (not exwife who died a couple of years ago)

Next
Older DS - same M&D as me and younger sister born in Ireland as was I - 18 months between us

Me
Born 1966 in Ireland - moved back to England when I was around 3 or 4

next
youngest DD - three years between me and her being born.

then about 15 God maybe 20 years ago, another sister who my Mum gave up for adoption at birth, born after DB, made contact with family. Now fully part of family.

BUT in terms of growing up it was really only me and older and younger sisters living in family house and brother when on leave from army

Sooo - oldest sister gets responsibility, establishes the boundaries and me and younger sister follow in footsteps.

Youngest is always the baby and to my Mum can do no wrong - given a lot of rope

Me - I tried to PLEASE. to do the right thing. always looking for praise or recognition from parents, tried so hard to be perfect -and pretty quiet as a child - known as the 'practical' one. But in doing that I slid under the radar growing up......................

My Dad understood me but he died 20 years ago.

So that is my personal understanding of middle child syndrome - in the context of older sis , me and younger sis - which was the majority of my formative years

If you are still reading - why?????

Better go to bed - work tomorrow xxxxxxx

ps - I always wanted four kids but life didn't pan out the way I hoped - I now worry that when I get to my Mum's age/illness there will only be DD to cope.....I hate that thought and live in the hope/reality that euthanasia will be legal in the UK when I reach that stage....I would never want her to have to go through this on her own - at least atm there are 5 of us sharing the caring for Mum.

bedsville

crapping work tomorrow

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

ps Isindie - is that enough opening up for you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ma - I may have to make an appointment to see Dr Chick again just for an excuse to come and meet you - his clinic is in Edinburgh - where are you my lovely? Pm me xxxxxxx

Christi - skin better - deff due to no booze my love - amazing how quickly you look better - nothing to do with washing or moisturising, and I bet your eyes are bright white - you have got all that toxic shit out of your body..............you are doing so well - stick with it and don't fall into the trap that I always do....................' I've done so well one drink can't hurt and I deserve it blah blah blah' - be careful it will creep up on you.......might....always does with me xxxxx

I appear to be alone here

ah well

sweet dreams babes

they have to cut a small hole in my abdomen to put implant in - boak

however i will have a scar I assume, they stitch you up after, twill be my badge of honour

SAF Noteven come on babes - whatever is going on let us know that you are OK PLEASE

Morning all babes,

Crikey, it's dark this morning.

I hope you all managed some restorative sleep, I had a terrible night, but I think I was worried about work today. Now it's here it's not so bad.

Silver kisses to you sweetheart, I hope you slept well.

Speak later
xx

Morning Thurso, hey Silver.

Hmm, well, dd1, the invincible, has been throwing up all night. And pooing her body weight. Dd2 is a bit better. And I feel horrible. The bed feels like it is swaying and not sure if I am going to throw up! and keep running to loo. Grim grim grim. Well, thoughts of booze very far from my mind! That is one good thin. Feel bad because I was off on Friday and now today, hate being off.

Hope everyone else feeling better than me today!

morning all
silver am not far from Edinburgh - its a date. will pm you later
Right Babes, quickly I need your help -
Our CEO left in December, new one starts next week. Temporarily I am in charge, much to the annoyance and resentment of some of the older staff, one in particular who implied to everyone that I got promoted as I was sleeping with the last boss!
Just in the office this morning to overhear this member of staff say "he's a Paki but a nice bloke". Not only did this offend me, but our Pakistani receptionist was just behind me and I don't know if she heard or not.
What to do? I am officially in charge of day to day stuff, but don't know if I have powers to commence discipliniary - anyone advise?

Hi, can I join in? I came on board in september 2010 but then fell back off again but this time I am really going to do it and kick the booze to the kerb. I have done one week so far with the aid of Jason Vale's kick the drink easily.Has anyone else read it? I'm finding its really changing the way I think about alcohol. Nice to meet all of you :)

Sorry Ma, have no advice, hopefully someone will be along soon!
Hi Ifancy, welcome aboard, and congrats on a week sober:) Have never heard of Jason Vale, maybe I should google him ?

Hi fancy welcome aboard

Ma can you have a word with Human Resources and take their advice???

Morning Silver, how are things with you this morning? Definitely going to look into middle child syndrome!

hi silver yeah, just waiting for them to come back to me. I'm thinking just a "friendly" reminder that this is not appropriate might be sufficient!

ma do you have any HR support where you work? I'd read your disciplinary policy to be sure of your own internal proceedures e.g. do you need to give someone formal notice of a warning and allow them to be accompanied; does her remark constitute gross misconduct etc.

I would think that as acting manager you have full responsibility for disciplinary matters, and I do think that you should take formal action. Don't let your (real or imagined) fear of this woman stop you from doing the right thing. And when your new boss comes, you should include in your briefing of him what action you have taken (without discussing the subject).

You could post in the 'employment' topic on here - there are some great HR bods on there who might be able to help.

silver i don't know whether what you describes realtes to your position in the family, but i do know that there are many of us who are 'people pleasers' see here, especially little girls who grow up learning that rewards and praise come from being 'good' and 'nice' and 'pretty' and 'kind'.

I do a lot of this, and yes sometimes it does make me appear likeable and easygoing, and relaxed and considerate. But I also know that when I take it to extremes that I confuse people and potentially hurt them. So I might go along with what someone wants until it reaches the point where it really conflicts with what I value or think is right, or need. And then when I can't go along with it anymore the other person is left bewildered and more upset than if I'd just asserted my own point of view in the first place. Either that or I carry on against my own better judgement and cause myself inner turmoil (which I then dull with alcohol).

Of course I still do 'people please', I'vev practiced it for years and I'm very good at it, but I also now try to include myself in the list of people who deserve to be pleased and happy. It's selfish in a good way, I think.

ma I would say as the witness to the incident/remark, you can make a complaint to HR regardless of your position and allow them to deal with it. FWIW, in my company, that would be immediate suspension whilst an investigation took place, a formal on-record warning at the very least, combined with some form of "training" and potentially even instant dismissal on grounds of gross misconduct. I once worked in an agency where a drunk grad told his boss in the pub after work, in front of a large number of colleagues, that he "wasnt a bad guy for a nigger" Only the intervention of his boss saved him from immediate dismissal the next day, but his career never recovered and he left the industry "to study" shortly afterwards.

I feeling very headachey today, and my skin is looking shit. I think the few drinks over the Xmas period may have played havoc with it - its been looking amazing for the last few months, and then, bang, blemish galore.

I'm so vain.....

Hello, not really posted on mn before, not since my DD was born, 5 years ago! Ive mailny just lurked. Horrible drinking habits at the moment, then feeling starved and eating crap. i need to be fit and fab this summer/all year.

That said ive just finished the rest of last nights wine. Yes at 11pm. Where do you find will power? Why do i always slip back?

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