The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

Evening all,

Good weekend here, just trying out a new banana bread recipe in the bread maker. Looking forward to trying it later with lashings of butter no doubt!!
Children have been little stars this weekend,so I have promised KFC for tea (bleurgh). Hate KFC so they realise that this is a big treat . Polishes good mum halo.

Have just had words with exfil about a TiVo box of all things!! I decided to treat us to one, and he thinks that I am spending money unnecessarily, and compared me to his waster of a son. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I take a packed lunch to work every day. I owe not one iota on a credit card, we had a slim (but truly lovely) Christmas. It's £50 of my money - and I don't need to justify myself to anyone!! Ok- obviously more irritated bout that than I thought

Have also decided to sign up for a kickboxing class, this means that I will be missing one of my two regular AA meetings every week. But there is another one I can go to if I want to, and I didn't get sober to make AA my life, so sometimes it will have to be flexible!! (she says nervously). Could I ask what you guys think?

Bibity, this thread ebbs and flows, sometimes lots of posting, sometimes not, all the old timers would never ever dream of not posting because of a newbie! In fact you do more than you can every imagine for me. I am over a year sober, it would be so easy to become complacent, the raw emotion of a newbie posting takes me back to how horrendous I felt when I arrived here, so you help keep me sober for another day.

christiane. Your post this morning really really resonated with me, over the festive period I watched people lose huge swathes of time and energy to drinking, and although sometimes socialising without the social lubricant of drink was staccato and jolted, it was always far superior to the drunken mess that I used to become by the end of the night. I love weekends that now actually contain 48 hours rather than drinking - passing out - suffering. X two/three, and managing to start the week feeling worse than I did on the Friday night.

Hope everyone else is doing well.

Remember, the bottom line is - everyone of us Absolutely can do this, for just one 24 period. You have to want it, you have to work for it, but it is not an illusive unacheivable goal, because every person on this thread had had a sober day in the last month. You can have one today too! C'mon I challenge you.

Love Bafana

I can't really comment on that treatment silver ,I only know it's also used for methadone addiction,it was a option for me if campral didn't work.

Are you going to try the campral first?

Great post Bafana and I totally agree with newbies offering a fresh look at the pitfalls of drinking. I think that's why this thread stays so alive. We all get something from each other. Inspiration, motivation, practical advice, propping each other up. Sometimes it's very quiet on the bus and one brave person will post, 'I'm struggling today' and before you know it, there's another brave babe saying 'Me too. let's get through it together'.

Saf if you are lurking, could you just let us know you're ok (or not).

Silver whatever it takes to get you where you want to be. It might be the springboard to get you started. I am sure that once you get a few days under your belt you will realise you can do this. No one can force you, so you are trying to force yourself I do actually see the sense behind that.

Mouse venus JWN how are you all doing. And where is MsGee? Hope you are all ok babes. Hose has made a scrummy roast dinner which I'm off to have in a moment but will check back later. Last chance for roast potatoes before D (Diet) Day tomorrow . Love ya x

faire the HOSE cooks as well? You lucky, lucky woman

Yes saf please come and post something. And noteven???

I don't always post, but I always read whenever I can. Strangely, the less I drink, the more my life gets filled with other things that keep me busy and motivated, and deeply happy. Well who'd have thought it? [ironic emoticon]. But seriously, one of the things that I really love about this thread is seeing posters who are 6 days sober encouraging others who are 5 days sober. I think it might just make it seem achieveable to struggle on for another day. And then I see that you've done it and I . And tbh I don't see myself in any way other than a fellow and equal traveller, so sometimes I struggle as much as I did in the first days, sometimes I rant at life, and many times this thread and the posts by ALL of you touch me in unexpected ways.

Chrisi didn';t get your email, so I've pm'd you x

hello, glad to see its not just me then.im in need of dire support! we can do this!

Silver I have a question that I ask people when I'm working with them: What's your favourite way of sabotaging yourself?

I'd guess that you would have a field day with that question because you seem to have SO many ways of doing it - you might even the be the world expert on sabotaging your own best efforts [weak smile]. At the bottom of all of that somewhere there might be a little Silver who somewhere in her head doesn't yet believe that she deserves to succeed. Yet in your deepest heart you do know that you deserve all the success and happiness and peace and joy and wonderfulness. And that is why you keep on going and you keep on looking for ways to overcome the expert saboteur.

And I believe that you will do it.

So I'd say go for the implant - it proves to yourself that you do deserve better. And then one day your head will catch up with your deepest hearfelt beliefs and your willpower will be enough.

And silver I don't think that you are pathetic.

Nor do I Silver, I second every word that Venus has written.

Sorry not to post for a couple of days. DC2 went back to uni on Friday, and Dh has been dealing with it in his own way. He went for a hike with workmates for most of today, not the most thoughtful thing he could do this weekend, but, I guess if that's his way.....

I am finding it hard to be in an empty house once again, but went for a 5 mile walk along the coast myself, so am knackered now, and, actually will be quite glad to go back to work tomorrow.

Love to all
xxx

P.s I am very jealous about the roast lunches, when Dh gets like this he isn't interested in nice meals. If I have another sandwhich I'll scream.

Hello

Please can I hop on the bus and join you all? I have finally had enough of my pathetic relationship with alcohol. Last night I went out for a "quiet" drink and ended up mashed because I can't stop once I start. I have no recollections of getting home and my hazy memories of the end of the night all involve me saying/doing stupid things. It has got to stop.

I need to accept that I cannot drink socially. I end up making a fool of myself. I am an idiot when drunk and I hate myself. However, the thought of going to a social event and not drinking frightens me senseless! How do you cope in the early stages? I am worried that, deep down, I don't want to stop drinking enough.

I am going to make 2012 a year of change - good change. Good luck to everyone else trying to do the same!

xxx

Silver I don't think you are pathetic at all, I think you are really struggling and trying to get sorted. If this is what it takes for you, I say go for it. I really wish you the best and hope it works for you. When can the treatment start?
Thurso it has all gone quiet here as well, it is so hard when they are here for a long spell and then go off again, we have to reshape our lives each time...
It's great to see many making it to 5,6,7+ days, keep on going, each day makes such a difference to your health, your family and to your self esteem. You are making me proud to be part of this self improving group.

Isinde pm me if you are ever down south, and we can do a Ferring walk together, and have lunch. xxx

bafana venus is right, you can start to fill your life up with things that are not connected to drinking, and I think this applies to AA as well, you are not walking away from it altogether and you are actually demonstrating your faith in yourself. You are looking after yourself with healthy exercise, growing strength, both physically and mentally. Go for it!
Sorry to hear your ex is being a pain, continue to stand up for yourself, you deserve it, you've done so well.

Hi everyone, great to see the bus with both old new babes.
Isndieam more than happy to step into double figures with you tomorrow:)

hi all
DD2 left tonight to go back to Spain - I won't see her now until the end of April
silver you are fucking well NOT pathetic and if you ever write that again I will track you down and slap you one I am drinking tonight so you and me need to take a deep breath, go back to the start line and make tomorrow Day 1. go for the implant if you think it will help you, good for you for preparing to go to those lengths to beat this bastard. How can you be pathetic if you are still trying so hard?
Bobbety newbies are always, always welcome. Please tell us a little more about yourself
obrigada I am absolutely impressed and thrilled for you at reaching one week and you too isindie. You girls rock!
thurso my friend. How are you? Really? Is DH any more "manageable?" I gave in to it this morning for sheer bloody peace. Now THAT'S pathetic
Hi to every one else, hope wee Nemo sleeps tonight mouse

Yay Obrgada! I was just reading through and wondering how you found visiting your mum! Well done you!

Isinde glad to hear about the liver function test results (and no I won't use that as an excise to keep drinking )

Mary did the chocolate suffice? Hope so. I've been struggling too

OneSunny you feeling any better?

Silver, pleased to hear about your mum. Must be a huge relief. I don't know about the implant but if it helps you to stop drinking then why not? I'm sure you'd realise how much better you felt not drinking so it would be like a little kick-start to sobriety. And don't call yourself pathetic again please, or you'll get a good telling off. You're here and you're trying, that's not pathetic

Baubley, please don't go back to lurking. People are just busy sometimes. There's been times when I've felt like I've killed the thread with a post but then it turns out people are just doing other things. How very dare they

Zara, welcome

Bafana you're so right about the weekends lasting longer when you're not drinking. Drinking is such a waste of time, as well as money and energy etc.

Well it's down to you lot that I'm not on my way to finishing a bottle by now. Shit day. Lots of stressful stuff going on. It's time consuming, difficult and emotionally draining. Was sooo tempted to numb it all. But I watched it to the end and tested Venus's theory that such cravings pass....and it did! Thank flip for that. I'm almost on day 8!!!

Hope everyone sleeps well tonight. Stay strong Brave Babes x

Just got home from Mum bedtime routine........

Bproud

I'm seeing GP this week and whether or not she gives me the go ahead, and i think she will, I am doing it. Found clinics in harrogate and sheffield who I will contact tomorrow and get an appointment asap.

Luckily I just got some money back from legal fees I was paying to get my DD her rightful inheritance from her father so ATM I have the money - and will worry about the rest in six months.

Will probably contact Dr Chick in Scotland (the one I saw who prescribed naltrexone tablets in the first place) and get his opinion as he is the expert on it. Only problem I may have is getting the implant for alcohol as it is normally used for opiate addiction - but you know what

I CAN BE BLOODY PERSUASIVE AND NOT A LITTLE DOGMATIC WHEN NEEDED

and as I'm paying I can't see they will have too much of a problem with it.......

will keep you updated Babes

PS I am so sorry that I am not name checking and welcoming newcomers but I just need to be me me me for a little while.

I know you all understand

Off to watch The Hotel

laters xxxxxxx

Hi Ma.

Forgot to say...SAF, WHERE ARE YOU?? More importantly, HOW are you? Please come and say hello. Or just shout a number at us and we'll take if from there x

Hello everyone!

silver I agree with what Venus and the others have said

Had real trouble at about 4pm, and just took it 15 mins at a time, and by 6pm the cravings had passed. It wasn't a particularly pleasant time, but I made it and am nearly at the end of my 9th day sober! I nearly cracked and so glad I didn't.

I did make myself another chocolate cake. Oops. I am not that into cake normally but whatever it takes, I am happy. I am not denying myself anything at the moment.

I have been on my feet all day, tidying, washing, stuff like that. Have joined fly fly lady thread and the 'how do you get organised' thread to keep me busy. House looking a lot better. Started doing a family scrapbook today.

Skin also looking a lot better - is that down to me being awake enough at night to clean and moisturise properly, or no booze. It's probably both.

Had a great time with the girls and realised that 90% of the time it's me that's the horror with my 'mother's ruin', not my children being horrors.

venus will read the pm and try again!

Yes, hello to Zara and also fussyfin, welcome to the bus.

Ma I will join you on Day 1 tomorrow. No drinking for me.

Yes Venus I am blessed with a wonderful DH who cooks for us all most days. He is amazing and I must have done something very good in a past life to deserve him in this one .

Hello all, am tired but feeling a bit more positive than I was earlier. And I'll go to bed sober :)

Well done Cristi that's really good going not to give in to the urge. And also, Sunny . Lots of success stories on the bus at the moment, keep it up x

And Venus

I have never felt good enough, or happy in my own skin, or worthy or deserving of happiness.

And I have no idea why

Middle child syndrome maybe ............ X

Silver I know that very feeling.

Alcohol became the missing piece of my internal jigsaw.

Glad so many of you are with sober hearts and minds tonight.

Onwards and upwards!