This is an issue that has played on my mind for a long time.
Reason being is that I don't think I can describe it as "cheating" but in my heart it still feels like he did.
So honest opinions please.
We had broken up in January, my decision.
I had previously come out of a bad relationship and he wanted to move too fast at that point.
We met up a few times in jan feb and march, probably once a week for either dinner to see a film or he would drive me to work ( he always asked me I never asked him )
We had a kiss in February where I thought I could make it work but a week later broke it off again.
I went on holiday in april with a friend to clear my head and whilst there I called him and said the time apart had made it more clear it wasn't going to work.
I saw him twice in may, once for his sisters birthday party ( she asked me to go shes only 16 so I went ) and once when my brothers baby was born he came with us to meet him.
I tried constantly to be positive and there were days that went okay an I'd start to think it could work, we had a few hand holding moments etc but then at the end of the day he would ask me to be with him etc and I couldn't give him that.
I realise I shouldn't have kept meeting him but I wanted to love him like he kept telling me he loved me.
He would ring and text me all day everyday begging me
To see him.
Well, in June he decides a holiday is what we need, some time alone just us, to see if my mind changes.
I agree, I'll pay my half.
In June we go out for the day and it was like something suddenly switched.
I wanted to be with him, it was like I fell in love with him all over again.
For the next month things couldn't have been better, little trips away, he got my initial tattooed on his neck as a surprise ( not chavvy by the way although a little rocky I guess! )
Well then I find a message from a girl sent in feb.
I wasn't snooping, he asked me to find a message from his brother in his phone but had obviously forgot to delete it.
It referred to a night they'd spent together so I went mad.
I had asked him the day we had got back together if anything had happened with anyone else, he said no, he loved me and never wanted anyone else.
He actually welled up when I asked him.
Anyway he admits that they slept together, a friends with benefits type thing a few times in march and again in June, the last time being the day before we for back together! Although he said after yet did it she didn't seem that interested in it happening again and was quite distant etc.
Well, he had slept with her on the same day he had booked the holiday for us, other nights he had dropped me to work he had then met her after.
So he had condoms ready in his wallet in my company which makes me feel sick.
He says we weren't doing anything sexual, that we wasn't together, that no matter how much he wanted to be with me it wasn't happening so he turned to her to try and get over me.
He thought if he could sleep with someone else ( he hadn't slept with anyone else before me ) that he would be able to cancel the holiday and tell me where to go, that I'd hurt him enough.
He had also carried on talking to her after we for back together, 4 times
In 3 weeks although she did know we were back together an they didn't meet up again just spoke on the phone although I'll never know if he would have carried on sleeping with her if she wanted to, although my head says he wouldn't have got the tatoo and told her about us of that was his plan.
Why he kept talking to her is beyond me, it was always him ringing her.
He says because when they started speaking again ( the night I broke up with him he called her, she was ex of his friend so they had met a few times the year before when he was with him friend ) that she had listened to his problems for 5 months ( even though they were sleeping together by this point ) so he was just telling her how happy he was that we were back together.
If she had been more up for it on the last occasion would he have been so quick to tell her?
Who knows.
He was telling me he loved me everyday, cried, begged booked the holiday in hope that it would help my mindset and we would be together.
So why sleep with her?? And especially after you decide to pay for a holiday?
Anyone??