is this normal?

[StrangeButTrue]

I've just been laughed of chat & advised to come here.

My DH still insists on wiping DS bottom, DS is 8. Other problems but wanted to start with this first.

i'm genuine, not a troll. please tell me what you think. thanks.

Does he have a reason for this? What does your ds say?

Is he a bit obsessive in other ways?

I think it's weird and odd and far from normal.

No. Unless there are genuine reasons why Ds cannot manage to do this himself. Very odd.

Why doesn't your son lock the bathroom door?

Why exactly does your husband think he should do this?

Why does he insist? How does your ds feel about it?

I do know people who wiped their kids bums til about Age 7 which to me is ridiculous

My DD has some medical problems in that area and sometimes needs a hand, and she is 11, but its getting pretty rare now. DS is 5 and would have his wiped if he could get away with it, but is more than capable if Im not around! I would think he should be OK at 8 - how does he cope at school? Does your DH have a phobia of skid marks??

No it isn't right. You are right, there are other issues too and they aren't normal either.

Obviously I'm not making reference to children with any additional needs but I'm guessing from your op your ds doesn't have any?

i wipe my 6yo DS still, mainly becuase he shouts it at full belt "muuuuummmmmm will you wipe my bum?"

Of course i have tried to distract the behaviour but he says he doesn't clean it as good as me so it will get sore !! Go figure!

My DP still wiped his DDs bum when she was 10 until i put a stop to it. Its not normal. You should teach your son to do it, who does it at school??

Not normal unless the child has SN's. Why does he insist on doing this?

Sounds a bit odd unless there is a history of problems in that area. My DS is 7 and wipes himself, has done for a years, but once or twice when he was about 5 and complaining of a sore bum I would check it, maybe use a wet wipe and some soothing cream if necessary, but wouldn't do it ow.

thanks for taking this seriously & replying. DS has been able to do this himself for years. I'm not suggesting anything sinister, but DH seems very clingy, which i feel uneasy about.

Other stuff - DH stays in the bathroon while DS is on the loo, also when DS has a bath, DH dries & dresses him. I told DH that DS can do it himself, but he got very defensive about it & said he does it because it is 'fun'.

a couple of days ago, while DS was getting dressed in his room I told DH we should give him some privacy (DS was going to change his pants, but emmbarassed as DH in the room). DH got pissed off with me, as though it is ME being odd.

Also, the word 'insists' troubles me. An 8 year old is entitled to refuse any such thing, and if your H doesn't listen to DS then I think there are potentially some very serious problems there.

I think some parents just don't realise it's time to stop. I suggested to DH he stop doing it for DSDs when they were 5 as they really didn't need him to.

Is your H your DS' father?

God. This thread just brought back memories of me having to wipe my half-sister's butt until she was about 7.
Thank goodness the divorce split us up.
Not nice memories at all.
Indeed, as an adult I view it as child abuse towards me.
No wonder we wound up estranged eventually.

To add my opinion, for what it's worth, this doesn't seem natural, it borders on obsessive and creepy, and I would nip all of this strange voyeurism in the bud immediately.

Is this behaviour new? Your dh's I mean...

No, its not new behaviour. DH follows DS around the house. DS is capable of playing by himself. i have 4 DCs. 2 from previous marriage, 2 with DH.

you are quite right to feel uneasy op. Your ds does need privacy and your dh's behaviour is not good , not healthy. Are your worried about anything else your dh does?

I do find it obsessive & creepy.

This sounds like a worrying situation

Is DH his father, or stepfather?