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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

dh just found a thread i started on here and is in a mood

42 replies

scruffybird · 05/12/2011 20:04

Ok I have just got back from the gym in a good mood and dh is in one of his moods.
it turns out he has 'accidentally' found a thread I started on here a while ago about him buying me underwear. I am fuming he has said he will never buy me clothes and underwear again! Fair enough. I feel my privacy has been I invaded and I will have to watch what I type from now on. He will probably see this aswell but I don't care!

OP posts:

hellhasnofury · 05/12/2011 20:05

Hello Mr Scruffybird. It never does you any good to pry you know. Everyone is entitled to a space to sound off in.

ChitChattingElf · 05/12/2011 20:07

How did he find it? Did you stay logged into MN all the time? Did you leave it on?? You computer history?

There's just no way he 'accidentally' found it. Time to NC.

Is there a reason why he would have been looking (having any problems recently?)

SkivingAgain · 05/12/2011 20:07

It's a bit like eavesdropping, he shouldn't have been prying so should just dump the sulk.

BearWith · 05/12/2011 20:08

Agree with hellhath. I can't comment on the specifics as I haven't read the thread in question, but even without seeing it I can catergorigally tell Mr Scruffybird that it is VERY BAD FORM to go snooping around the forums your partner uses looking for their posts, let alone then bringing stuff they have mentioned up in an argument! Getting huffy? Pfft.
Red flaaaaags.

BibiBlocksberg · 05/12/2011 20:15

Agree with the other posters plus if you'd have felt able to talk to him
about the issue you had, you would have done so.

Maybe a good time for a 'cards on the table' talk and for him to listen and respect your feelings and opinions.

Liluri · 05/12/2011 20:20

People who snoop rarely hear anything favourable.
Change your password, btw.

Bogeyface · 05/12/2011 20:24

Mr Scruffybird

I hope that you are going to hand over a list of any websites you frequent and any threads you have started. Whats sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander after all!

Oh and a word to the wise.....tantrums are never attractive, so act your age and allow your wife somewhere to unload her feelings without upsetting you. Would you rather she had said it to your face? No, thought not.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 05/12/2011 20:26

Mr Scruffybird when your wife is at the gym you should be cooking her dinner, or changing the bed sheets or some such useful activity. Not snooping on her internet posts.

Scruffybird, change your name and password

LovesBloominChristmas · 05/12/2011 20:27

Well sounds like a good idea tbh why nit use this opportunity to yell him what you do want.

LydiaWickham · 05/12/2011 20:30

name change.

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 05/12/2011 20:30

Wow, major breach of trust! DP and I currently share the decent laptop (I'm on my shitter at the moment) and he's logged in as me, on here, to advise on a thread in another part of the forum. My facebook and another forum I use also have their passwords stored. He won't peek, as I don't on the forums he uses. And I won't read his phone messages, nor will he read mine, even though both phones are usually lying around unattended.

PISS OFF MR SCRUFFYBIRD

Change99 · 05/12/2011 20:32

How has your privacy been invaded?

You've posted on a VERY PUBLIC forum open to all n sundry.

You really shouldn't post on ANY forum if you're worried about others reading it, whether they be your DH or not.

Nesbo · 05/12/2011 20:32

Surely it is also a breach of "etiquette" to write stuff on a public forum that would upset your other half? Although of course as that covers a large part of MN it is an etiquette that most people on here feel very comfortable ignoring!

This isnt a diary, it is just a forum. Some might want to keep their stuff secret, others might be happy to reveal all. If you share a computer and want to visit websites or write stuff about your partner that they might find upsetting you'll need to be more careful in future!

Change99 · 05/12/2011 20:33

No I'm not Mr Scuffybird or anyone elses MR.!

SantasStrapon · 05/12/2011 20:33

Dear Mr Scruffybird

Would you read your DW's diary?

I hope not.

Sarah

BoffinMum · 05/12/2011 20:35

Mr Scruffybird, all the other husbands ask permission to see posts if they are feeling curious. It is Not On to snoop about in the female domain that is MN, and BoffinDad would explain this to you at length if he were bothered enough ever to come online.

Go and get a life, Mr Scruffybird. And say sorry.

PurplePidjInAPearTree · 05/12/2011 20:37

I'd say that there's a massive difference between reading a post/recognising your own situation and logging in as your DW/H/P in order to find out what they've been typing.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 05/12/2011 20:38

Oh dear, Mr Scruffy, you have dug yourself a big hole

You've said you'll never buy clothes and undies for Mrs Scruffy again? This means that if occasion occurs where you would have bought items of apparel for your dw, you are now obliged to give her the equivalent cost in cash so that she can choose exactly what she wants to buy and wear.

If giftwrapping a (large) wad of moolah doesn't appeal to you, the only alternative will be for you to pay a visit to Harry Winston's and have a serious rock delivered whenever Mrs Scruffy's birthday, your wedding anniversary, or any other memorable dates roll round.

Men and their big mouths. They never learn, do they?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 05/12/2011 20:40

It may be a public forum but we are anonymous here.

For your wife's sake I hope your tongue is as long as your nose, you've got some serious sucking up to do.

Nesbo · 05/12/2011 20:43

Hardly anyone uses real names on any forum, they are all basically anonymous. If you did come across a forum that you saw your partner was posting on why would you automatically assume that they wanted it to be secret or that they might be writing stuff about you?

Bogeyface · 05/12/2011 20:46

I hope your tongue is as long as your nose

NotSuch I will be PMing you the bill for the cost of repairing my laptop, thanks to the mouthful of OJ that just got spat all over it! :o

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 05/12/2011 20:48

Bogeyface · 05/12/2011 20:50

Nesbo, there is a world of difference between coming across a site and recognising someone, and setting out to find that person.

MN is a big place, and if you search on a posters name (especially a prolific "replier") then it will come up with loads of posts. If you log in as someone else and search "Threads I started" however, then its all there. So I suspect that Mr SB did that, and that is horrible. It would creep me out big time, not about what my husband might read if he did that, but about him stalking my internet usage.

Bogeyface · 05/12/2011 20:51

So you didnt mean what I thought you meant then notsuch?

I am the one that should be I think :o

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 05/12/2011 20:54

oh yes, I meant it in that way! you know, the saucy way!

Mr Scruffybird, seriously, what did you cook your wife for dinner tonight?

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