dh just found a thread i started on here and is in a mood

[scruffybird]

Ok I have just got back from the gym in a good mood and dh is in one of his moods.
it turns out he has 'accidentally' found a thread I started on here a while ago about him buying me underwear. I am fuming he has said he will never buy me clothes and underwear again! Fair enough. I feel my privacy has been I invaded and I will have to watch what I type from now on. He will probably see this aswell but I don't care!

Who knows BF, perhaps the OP's DH felt he had a good reason to check internet usage, after all we generally only ever see one side of the coin on here. Maybe he'll log in a tell us what he was looking for?

or maybe he has read this, realised he has been a twat and is either a) having a blistering row at the OP because he has been proved as such, b) still sulking because he has been proved as such or c) apologising profusely.

Having lived with a very possesive person, I know that it doesnt take anything for them to snoop. And when they dont find anything its because you hid it too well so they jump on the one thing they can find. I got a bollocking for emailing my best friend and ending it with "love ya" after she had helped me through a miscarriage, because it was proof I was having an affair with her

there's a vast diference between reading someone's diary and reading their public, potentially identifyable posts on a public forum that is open to the entire users of the worldwide web.

We don't know how he found these posts.

But ultimately, the internet is a public platform where anyone is free to post, and anyone else is free to read said posts. And anyone who genuinely believes that the internet is anonimous is very naive.

If it were closed membership only site, or your private facebook/twitter profile then I absolutely agree that privacy has been violated. But it is a bit of a double standard to post publically about your personal life on a public internet forum and to then be upset that someone read it.

This from the same forum that advises DWs to look at their DH's phones/emails etc.

lol

I think the OPs problem wannabe isnt that he read it, but his reaction to it.

He threw a tantrum and is now sulking, but surely he must have known that going onto a site that provides support for women from other women, there was a good chance there would be a "Oh FFS! really pissed of with DH because....." thread? We all post them! and usually they are trifling issues that are not significant enough to cause a full on discussion, just something that pissed us off at the time, so we MN it, have a bit of a rant and alls well. That he has chosen to feel victimised by a random moan by his wife is his own problem and what the OP is pissed off with.

Mouthful of OJ Bogey? Surely you've not been giving that Simpson guy a BJ?

Here's something far more suited to the time of night to wash your mouth out with

Boney only, and check this, you will find its true, when the wife already has major suspicions and usually some proof that he is already playing away. You will not find a single poster on here recommending that every wife should check her husbands phone etc regularly "just in case".

well yes, quite.

Also, while I wouldn't necessarily expected to go looking at my dh's posts on another forum (if he posted on one), if I did, I equally wouldn't expect the intimate details of our personal life to be posted there in view of all several million of said forum's members.

If you make your personal life public (and by posting about it on here you are doing exactly that, regardless of the username) you can't really get upset if someone reads it.

I know Izzy but I was getting a bit too comfy with the iykwim so I am having some time off until Xmas eve :)

But no, no BJs :o

bf well it depends doesn't it?

If the op had mentioned the issue to her dh and had then come to post here because he had failed to take on board her issue then I could see why she might be upset.

But alternatively, if the op had come here to post instead of mentioning the issue to her dh, then he has every right to be upset IMO.

No one likes to see that their loved one is writing unpleasant things about them behind their back. Seeing stuff in black and white can be really painful (think of the recent thread with the nanny and the misdirected text!).

I agree wannabe that you shouldnt be upset if someone reads it. But I do think that you can be upset by their reaction.

She posted a moan about him buying her underwear. she didnt say it to him because she didnt want to hurt his feelings (proving she cares about him) so she posted on a forum where other women would understand. OK

Except that instead of appreciating her posting anonymously rather than hurting his feelings, he had a tantrum. Instead of being a bit pissed off, asking her what the problem was and why she didnt tell him and agreeing to talk about such things in future.

It was the childish stropping that she didnt like.

Bogey

what about the "My DH left his faebook open" threads?
or the
"I just happened to read my DH's emails" threads?

we have all seen them.

Well they are BS. I know that because thats how I excused snooping on my H before I found out about his affair. I knew there was something wrong but couldnt put my finger on it. But there are also alot of possesive insecure men and women out there who will excuse what they do.

But not a single poster would say "you should check his email/facebook" to a poster who said "I want to keep tabs on him, he has not given me any reason to think he is doing anything wrong, but I want to check up on him"

Anyone who posted that would be roasted and rightly so.

You were lucky OP. At least your DH didn't find your thread about his tiny acorn-dick and how you're shagging the milkman...

Whoops!

But but but! I need to stop using that word dont I? But its soo handy :o

No one likes to see that their loved one is writing unpleasant things about them behind their back. Seeing stuff in black and white can be really painful (think of the recent thread with the nanny and the misdirected text!)

Couldn't agree more.