Here's hoping on finding a decent guy/girl under the mistletoe who doesn't use hun or text speak. Dating thread No.7

[Zanywany]

Off you go

You know what to do

mind you (to muddy the pond water a little) afaik women are just a likely to cheat as men..furthermore the ease of casual 'hookups' facilitated by the net may even things up a bit,if women can be anonymously promiscuous the sexual double standard might start to ease up?

I think it's all very interesting from a sociological perspective

indeed - difficult to get ones head round it all ;)

If it's true we're not that far removed from most mammals it's simple.

A males aim is to mate with as many females as possible

A females aim is to mate with the "best" male.

Not saying it's true on either side as you'd hope we'd evolved a bit but that base psychology is probably still there.

In other words, woman are generally more fussy! :o

I think age comes into it too. I'm 54 so the number of venues to meet such willing women is smaller than if I were 24. To confuse things even more though, I'd say most blokes go out on their own where women go out in a group. If our willing woman is out with her mates is she less likely to pick up a stray bloke because of what her mates may think or say about her? If she were out on her own would she be more likely to think bugger it, he seems ok, and no one will ever know - I'm in?

a females aim is to mate with the "best" male.

really sparks1? I must have gone wrong somewhere then!

Everyones allowed one mistake Stay... www.mumsnet.com/tch/4.gif

sparks, that's where alcohol comes into the mix in overcoming those evolutionary obstacles.

sparks personally I think evolutionary psychology is all a bit cod.
These things can mostly all be adequately explained via cultural factors...but lets not get into a nature/nurture debate

Women can get sex easily, but once he's 'pulled' it is much easier for men to get what they want out of sex, assuming he just wants to get off.
For women good sex is much less easy to find..that would be one reason for women to be more selective.

I mean I'd be happy to mate with as many men as possible if I could guarantee that the sex would be to my liking

stay me too! the only thing my ex was best at is being an utter tosser

just as an aside, I had a massive crush on Gerard Depardieu when I was a teenager that was back in the days when I only fancied men 20+ years older than me...and now ones my own age seem too old!

Awh I'm too tired for this right now and too tired to make any sense of it but I think I get the gist of it. I am definitely coming back to it tomorrow when I should be doing maths I can make more sense of it.

I will say though Poppa if I was out with Ashton whatsit and John Thingy and Ashton was dull as dishwater but John was great conversation and made me laugh he would be the one I would go for. I like a good looking man but I wouldn't shag him if he had no depth.

As for a females aim being to mate with the best male, well, I suppose if he is the best male of a bad bunch then that theory could be true

Night folks!

But loves that's assuming most blokes do just want to get off.

I don't actually believe that to be the case. Crap sex is crap sex. Whether you are male or female!

oh come on Sparks, I mean women want to get off aswell, it's just than men are much more likely to have an orgasm than women are..sex that does the job for a man may not do the job for a woman

Night time xx

sponge ah hahaha, all exes are tossers, hence why they are exes!

as Woody Allan said:

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

Whilst we're being deep and meaningful, philosphical and enquiring about the NSA flingette... One of the great truisms for blokes is "You can never get enough sex - until you've just had some", yet I seem to recall one encounter where I knew it was only ever going to be a one night stand so I rose to the occasion and achieved a personal best in all departments. Does the urgency, novelty, or "how the hell did I get so lucky?" factor of the situation make me a better partner as opposed to the settled, longterm relationship situation where sex can become pleasurable yet sometimes mundane? I'm not talking about the alcohol fuelled bonk because they're usually less than stellar performances, I'm thinking of the do it in every room and on the bonnet of the car and oops we just broke the sink and now we're covered in sweat and gasping for breath efforts.

ah - the ' we just broke the sink memories' :) fun times :) and the nest shag of 2011 for me. lol

i dont know, i dont agree with sparks at all, but i am aware i come at this from a different viewpoint to most.

For me, sex has never been something that men ' want' and women 'give' or about me finding the best to ';mate' with. If i fancy someone, then i fancy them and want to rip their clothes off. Just because i fancy someone does not mean i want to date them. Its not about slipping standards or not having respect for myself or any such tosh either. If i want sex, then i want sex, just that. its a fun thing for two ( or one... or more!) people to do, and i always view it from an equal footing.

More so - if it is just going to be a one off, or a one night thing sure as hell im not going necglect my own orgasm and make it all about the bloke getting off. We are both present, its a mutual thing and i will make sure i cum.

as for the looks thing. ashton kutcher is a cock. would i shag him? YES!!!!!! and im sure it would involve broken sinks too.... would i date him? Hell NO!
and poppa - dawn french is sexy as hell ( and have you seen her recently?) she is beautiful and funny and i expect filthy as well and would laugh and have a fantastic amount of fun. Liz hurley looks like she would be so inhibited plus she wouldnt swallow because of the extra calories ( bit crass for so early in the morning?! lol

and i dont think one night stand ' urgency' leads to better sex, not at all. I think better sex happens when you are in a relationship and you can really experiment and learn about each others bodies ( and minds...) Never in a relationship ( not even my marriage, which was appaling) have i had bad sex, we had no problems in that area, right up until the end. But sex does not make the marriage ( or relationship).

i have to like someone mentally before I have sex physically - does that make sense? the gorgeous-factor might turn my head, but if they're as dull as dish water it's unlikely it will happen. what a quandry! I was fairly promiscious when I was much younger (and it was great fun! and couldn't give a damn if they had ever read a book...)) but I've done the casual thing to absolute death...by the time I'm likely to whip my knickers off, I'm generally a bit intellectually smitten.

it's comforting to know that I could get my bumps felt though - although I suspect my queue of 'gentlemen' wouldn't do much for me physically ( I am such a hypocrite! it's an equal mental/physical attraction thing really...) , so i over-rely on the mental connection, which leaves me celibate for

Yes Snape, it makes perfect sense to me because I am exactly the same. I think. I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't click with mentally, the body and the face wouldn't so much bother me if he turned me on mentally. If he was a looker but was also an arrogant arse then I wouldn't go near him!

so strange - im the total opposite. Physical first, mental later.Which is why i can tell in about 0.3 seconds if i fancy someone or not, and probably why i can like somone on the phone or in messages, but when i meet them it all falls flat, because although for me its a physical thing, i dont actually fancy that many people.
Also - people dont need to be stereotypically good looking for me to like them, i rather like odd people ( who are scruffy)

celeb lists - lets do a top 5?
currently -
tim minchin
johnathan ross
russel brand ( now hes gone back to being scruffy)
Bradly cooper
and i rather like that harry from one direction... ( i KNOW!! but hes seeing caroline flack, so clearly likes older women)

time - lookers who are arrogant arses is my speciality :) which equals a whole lot of fun but nothing on the relationship front! lol
Thinking about it, i have pulled slept with some rather attractive men this year. I should be proud of myself!
hahahahahaha.

I would happily throw myself stark naked go for a coffee with three from your list Watch. :)

umm,

Tim minchin (curse of the blonde!)
Alan Rickman (preferably dressed up in hopgwarts robes...)
Derren brown ( I know he's gay. I luff him.)
Sean Bean (LOTR marathon has promoted him in my affections...)
Steve Coogan (primarily because of the leveson enquiry)

My 5 would be... and I have to allow some age leeway here 'cos I'm an old fart...

The sister in Notting Hill who is also the offsider in Vicar of Dibley.
The Mum from Gilmore Girls.
Jenna Elfman is it? Tall blonde chick from a few American sitcoms.
The girl who plays the ghost in Being Human.
Felicity Kendall, who now looks like crap but I fell for her when I was about 10 so I'll stick with an image from way back then.

Oooo oooo! Nina Conti! Crap ventriloquist but I reckon she'd be a lot of fun and her old man wasn't a bad actor, especially in Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence!

I'm pinching Bradley Cooper from Watch's list and adding

Paolo Nutini
Enrique Engliseas (but he needs to grow a few inch's)
Gavin Henson
Ryan Reynolds
George MIchael (not gay just not met me yet)

oooh, i dont mind a bit of sean bean either :)

whos your third snape? sure as hell its not russel, so its either bradly cooper or you too are lusting after young harry! lol

derren is a creepy man, but would be so interesting, i dont think id be able to shag him though, but i would like to drink rum with him ( which would probably lead to shagging)

i also quite like rhys evans. bloody anna friel prancing about with him at the momment pretending to be all rock chick. pah!

tims more ginger i think, and just lovely as well.
see - i hope this proves a point that i am not shallow - its not a ' looks' thing, its just a physical thing. Like i can appreciate that david beckham is a good looking male, however i do not fancy him in the slighest, and should he appear in front of me in those white armani pants ( every so likely to happen) my answer would be ' sorry david, im a little bit busy right now :) 'because i dont fancy him, and i cant make muyself fancy him.

I did, a few years ago, fancy the pants of justin hawkins from the darkness, if you dont know who he is, please google. he is a ugly man! lol, but damn, he was hot. ( not so much now though, probably came to my sesnseS)