Here's hoping on finding a decent guy/girl under the mistletoe who doesn't use hun or text speak. Dating thread No.7

[Zanywany]

Off you go

You know what to do

ah - i didnt read any of it... what happened?

Thanks Lubey.

to update, some of my more interesting 'expressions of interest' so far....

1. the guy who openly admitted a priapism (1st and only message) but it's OK, because he's very good at oral. :)

2. the teenage bi-sexual male couple who invited me to a MMF threesome. I could not shake the image of Jedward fucking Cilla black. Declined.

3. The chap who asked if I had ever explored sex with someone in 'a chair'. Investigation of photos reveals chap in a wheelchair. I thought he meant someone with an eames fetish. Declined but very gracefully and with lovely message as nice chap, just not for me.

4. the weeping huge cock guy who asked me to join him and his gf for a threesome, when I said no thank you, he reassured me that it was OK for him and me to do it on our own. Whilst not judging an open relationship, I do reserve the right to judge the guy who says his gf says it's fine for me to fuck him. I only have the internet as proof of her consent and really couldn't be arsed to try and meet her in public to actually get verbal consent. his cock wasn't that big.

5. 'I'm married but my wife doesn't understand me' seriously.

I think sometimes Stay the ups and downs can be good as its a way of seeing how you each feel about certain issues.

Will try and up the juicyness Time. I will say though that I never thought things would be soooo passionate after a hand shake on the first date and things still keep getting better and better.

Just to say about the ex snooping, what annoyed me the most is I am and always have been very open and honest about things so if someone shoops at my threads, even on am open forum, then its bloody annoying when all the need to do is ask and I'll tell all. I'm definately better off with My Yacht

Aww I am happy for you zany!

Sorry snape but your post made me By the way, I got sent a pic of a cock in underpants and another in trousers and it was HUGE!! And I mean HUGE!! And fat. I studied it hard, trying to see through the material of the underpants and it did look sort of real but I came to the conclusion it might have been one of those cocks that have been injected with belly fat. He couldn't possibly have been born with one that big! The pampers would never have fitted!

Zany yes, more juiciness please, thank you. I'm pleased you have moved on from the handshake, Mr Yacht seems to have recovered himself well.

And yes, I agree, ups and downs can be good especially if they are taking you forward in the relationship. All relationships have teething problems, it's all a part of getting to know each other.

Crikey. I have never seen as many cocks in my life as I have seen this last few days! Just had another one from an arrogant owner thinking I should be impressed and gasping. So I told him it was too small and that he needed to shave. I suppose it could have been all the pubic hair that made it look so small? Wonder if he's gone off to find his Bic

Stratters update if you're interested.

what a knob! Poor Stratters.

These guys who assume that a shag is a sure thing, even on POF, messages from mingers who assume they have pulled and are getting a shag, just like that..

Lucky escape. It's good to see The Hive at work.

time! :)

I just got a poem. I think I will share it with the hive (love that!)

Please read in a shakesperian lovey manner.

(ahem!)

lost in the stars
or in a club or some bars

enjoyin ourselves in the mood of the night
lookin for someone for hard times to find the hole which is tight

pushing n shoving
undressin n loving

liquor be flowin the party starts
lets see each others juicy parts^

that's great! Much better than the long winded drivel I received a couple of days a go, referring to women as 'spunk dumps'. Yes, there are some right charmers out there.

ah - i got a rap this morning. i deleted it, i shoudl have kept it. it was from ' my biggest fan, love dan'
ive never had a rap written to me about how much they wanted to fuck me.

time - ive also had a boy ( yes, another young one ) send me a picture of his cock ( in pants) i did reply, because, wel,frankly it cant have been real. i told him it couldnt possibly, and he never replied. proof indeed that it was not real.

ive had several messages from two men on the same account, looking for ' hot girls' to have in their hot tub.... i think they are living in some kind of 70's porn film, well, that or they think they are ashton kutcher.

loads fromreally old men as well. grimim

I wish I had posted for an opinion on my cock. I was going to but thought you would all be busy with cocks of your own. watch it was huge, we are talking swiss roll proportions! Although not quite as long. He didn't show his face though and that's a problem for me.

Yes, a lot of old men here too, a lot of begging and 'please pick me', a lot of chancers. This is doing very little to improve my opinion of men

Gawd you must all have strong stomachs. I would feel sick at some of these messages. I feel like a prude on this thread now.

A guy I know who lives in my small village said Merry Christmas to me on fb chat which I thought was nice so said the same back, he then asked outright if I fancied a s--g. I wanted to scrub my eyes with bleach, how dare he. He got told where to go and deleted.

I hoped he would have redeemed himself and faked a friend getting on his page as it was late at night but he didn't. Might bump into the cock on the street. Yuck! So I don't reckon IE'ing would be right for me .

adams - im not offended by them at all, its all rather funny though. In fact its hysterical. But then again i dont baulk at the idea of someone wanting to have sex with me. Also, its easy to just delete.

time that reads all wrong!

It does wonders for the ego though adams, and it's very empowering

Just give it a try!! You know you want to

Are you referring to the swiss roll comparison stay

i quite like swiss roll. just saying :)

I'm more used to a mini roll.

I have no interest in swiss rolls, the ones I have encountered in my experiences have been rather painful! One of my exes had a swiss roll, trying to do doggie was a killer!

time I was just imagining a new comer on the thread reading your post asking for opinions on your cock!

I don't suppose you have ever had to endure the frozen chicken position then? See, mine was a mini roll not a swiss roll, the frozen chicken position helped greatly.