Here's hoping on finding a decent guy/girl under the mistletoe who doesn't use hun or text speak. Dating thread No.7

[Zanywany]

Off you go

You know what to do

Aw that's brilliant Cats

Snape I know you like this guy but as he knows how you feel about him I think hes being cruel. I have said it often and been told I'm wrong but IME men don't spend a lot of time with women they don't fancy so I'm wondering what's in it for him.

NYE was survived on my own. Sent an ex a message and was cringing thinking about it the next day. DD and I went out for a nice lunch and I'd planned to meet a couple of friends in the pub later. Got a lovely message back of the ex (we had lost touch) then got a text of a FWB asking to see me. I thought why not so went to his after a quick drink with friends. He made me a lovely meal etc so new years days was very nice indeed.

yeah, time. I can see it like that - I occasionally think he is borderline aspergic, which really wouldn't bode well for a relationship at the moment - I have too much going on in the rest of my life to deal with other peoples bizarreness. never easy, is it? and it should be - which certainly tells me something in the red flag arena, if I were actually thinking rationally.... :)

cat, that guy (1st one) sounds like an absolute weirdo. 2nd one sounds potentially wonderful! :)

2nd day of not smoking here and I want to kill everyone! rarrrrrrrgh! off to OKC to take some prisoners!

Snape I used to think The Ex had Aspergers but I now believe he is simply emotionally unavailable, maybe your Mr Platonic is the same? These men want the good bits but non of the commitment, which is fine if you feel the same but a complete waste of your life if you are looking for something deeper. It makes interesting reading if you ever fancy googling. Well done on the not smoking!

I'm so tempted to delete my POF profile and just leave things to fate. The married man came back under a new profile!! Very sneaky. I've also been invited to join a young couple on their first experience of a threesome. Words fail me.

I am currently quite meh about the whole dating thing, have a few (actually fairly decent) messages on POF and I cant even bring myself to reply.

Plus work is super dull without my boss who I still haven't heard from despite his promises that I would come and work with him.

And due to 2 weeks of gluttony I have put on 5 pounds :(

Sponge Maybe your potential lover! 'boss' is just busy, what with starting his new job and everything? You could always drop him a quick text saying you hope everything is going well Could your 'boss' be the reason you are feeling quite meh about dating at the moment? Eh? Eh? As for the weight, don't worry about that, 5lbs will soon disappear once you start eating normally again.

Hellllooooooo

Hope you all had a good Christmas and New Year. I'm back at work but will try and catch up this afternoon

yeah, I've invested far too much time in him as it is. back to the five a day! I'll need to rewrite my profiles and bribe DS2 to take some new pics of me.

I've started DUKAN as well as not smoking (although did have last night. misery! :)

anyone moticed the huge amount of ads for internet dating sites on over new year? :)

Time, he definitely will be v busy, I am just being very demanding! Am used to chatting to him every day so I do actually miss him (however sad that sounds!) Annoyingly I can't text him cos he was changing his no (work phone) & I don't have the new one ! (hence why I gave him my number) I do have his email though for when I get really desperate and cant wait any longer to contact him

This may also be the reason for my meh-ness. Also start of new year/back to work general fed up ness/slight anti climax after the end of the party season.

And talking of parties, the one I'm going to later this month (which was already bad enough as someone I had major falling out with years ago will be there giving me the evil eye) has now got worse, as also attending will be 2 mates of my most recent Ex - not the Evil one (DCs dad) but the one who left me heartbroken. Just seeing them will remind me of him, which is not good! Am slightly hoping they don't turn up...

Snape, I gave up smoking exactly 11 months ago! I miss it a little but the advantages far outweigh the occassional thought of fancying a cig. I've heard the first year is the worst . Keep going it's all in the mind and your mood will even out again after a couple of weeks.

My FWB that I saw on NY day is emotionally unavailable. He's lovely looks wise and personality, wealthy, everything a woman could want really and we have such good fun together. He and I are very casual and open to discussing other people we see etc. I have learnt not to get attached to him in any way but must admit I found myself melting a little this time and am wondering if it's best to not see him again!

auuuuugh! casuially browsing OKC and the bugger has nicked a pic of him on NYE from my FB and used it as his new profile pic (am not stalking, he comes up in a general search.) It might be the lack of cigarettes blowing this out of proportion but grrr. he's chopped me out of the picture I can see my disembodied arm! it's one of the weird things he does like answering the door with his shirt off, or holding my hand when we're drunk.

lack of cigarettes are making me crazy. perspective please!

Nicotine withdrawal will pass soon. You are being brave doing Dukan too. Perhaps one at a time as cutting out carbs will affect your mood aswell.

As for your friend, hmm, what's the backstory, how much history is there or is it a newish friendship? If it's the latter I would cut him loose as he might be falling back on you when he's no-one else to spend time with. I'm not the right person to ask, see my posts about my FWB!!!

Snape I think if I were you I would be going no contact with Mr Platonic for a while, if you can manage it, I know how addictive these men can be! I don't think you are blowing things out of proportion, if I felt the same way about a man as you do him I would be very hurt by his actions too. I think you need a Mr Platonic detox! Personally, knowing how you feel about him, I don't think the current set up you have with him is emotionally healthy for you and maybe you are also in a bit of the same situation as sponge where you aren't able to concentrate your energies on finding The One because you have Mr Emotionally Unavailable in your head. Just a thought

Sponge send him an email! Goooo ooooon! As for the party and the reminders of your ex, if it's going to cause you heartache then you could always not go.

adams if you are beginning to feel attached to Mr Unavailable then definitely don't see him again, it will be you who ends up hurt not him, trust me.

:) thats permission to go and get cigarettes yes?

oh, can't be bothered with him. far too long and dull a story to recount, we've known each other for around two years or so.

I need to nip out now and buy some cigarettes ham for lunch.. :)

(time i agree. I shall add him to my list of detoxes for january!)

good. You will feel so much better for it. NO CIGARETTES!!!

snape I agree with detoxing from platonic man. Sometimes however nice people are the situation just doesnt do you any good iyswim? tis hard though. And well done on quitting the fags btw, keep on with it you can do it! (and there ends my motivational speech for the day )

time no question of getting out of party, friend whose party it is would never forgive me. and it's 3 years ago now, and I'm only seeing them not him (he isnt invited and wouldnt come even if he was) I really do have to face up to it all sometime ignores fact I couldnt even pass where he worked for 2 years because of worrying i would see him and get upset Will just try and focus on looking fab on the night (and having a wine or several to get me through!)

ok, double detox. No ciggies, No PM. I shall go and have sex with an internet random start knitting something to keep myself occupied!

Snape, I didn't mean to go and get ciggies NO NO NO. I meant do dukan another time.

Time, Mr U won't get under my skin, I promise. We have alot of history. He was just telling me how he's had to break up with someone as she was getting clingy so straight on the phone to me. B-d .

Try not to worry about it too much sponge facing your fears and doing it anyway might be just what you need to take another step forward and away from the past. You might be surprised to find that seeing these people doesn't have the effect on you that you thought it might . I do feel rather envious of your social life though, I need a social life. I went to a party over Christmas, nothing wild, but it was lovely to relax with nice people, most of which I only met that day. I love meeting new people.

Well done Snape, that's the spirit. I bet you will find it easier to give up the ciggies than you will PM

I'm pleased to hear that adams, there's nothing worse than having a Mr U under your skin. Commitment phobes! Meh! says me! hypocrite

I've been chatting to a seemingly nice, normal man. This has made me realise that I tend to have a panic attack and run away from seemingly nice, normal men. I'm willing this one not to ask to meet up. I think I need therapy.

sigh. someone called 'rubber_2011' wants to meet me.

is this all there is?

sigh.

Crikey, he is odd! And claims to be good looking but will only release his pictures if he is what you are looking for, i.e. a bloke with a rubber fetish and into kinky sex. Like his photo is some great prize . No Snape, that is definitely not all there is!!

Stagsfan has asked me if I would consider meeting him for a glass of wine sometime. I think he is the most 'normal' bloke I have ever been contacted by on POF. I'm a teeny bit tempted but I'm a lot not can't be bothered. I dunno................

He appears to wear his polo shirt collar up, like Elvis. That's not a look I like on a man. He looks nice in a suit though.

I think I may have become emotionally unavailable.