Here's hoping on finding a decent guy/girl under the mistletoe who doesn't use hun or text speak. Dating thread No.7

[Zanywany]

Off you go

You know what to do

Sounds like a great start poppa! I always wanted to learn the guitar (acoustic), but never got much past learning the chords. The girls have a little pink one that I show them the chords with, they love it! Except when the boys have had it and helpfully retuned it!

knickers Hello! Hope you get a meet arranged soon :)

I reckon I am just picking men of few words. You cannot possibly go off someone you haven't met unless they come out with something really bad via email. I'm not talking to anyone anyway as I'm too busy atm.

Zany, sounds like it's going well.

OMG.

On a whim yesterday I changed my photo on POF and reactivated my profile.

I have been almost deluged with messages since then. Of course the vast majority are awful (Ricky Gervais professional lookalike anyone? Considering I absolutely despite RG safe to say I won't be replying!) but all quite weird nonetheless. Can only assume now Xmas is coming all these men are desperate not to be on their own (gotta say don't fancy most of their chances!)

The Boss thing is v entertaining too. We keep smiling at each other and holding eye contact just a little more than normal It will all go horribly wrong shortly I suspect, it always does, but in the meantime it is making the days pass very quickly!

Ah, it's like the 'new meat' thing Sponge!

Date arrange, Thursday lunchtime. I so hope well get on as well as we have been doing, but I am going with my eyes open and no real expectations.

lol at new meat!

good luck for your date knickers :) I think no expectations is a great approach, if it ges well and you get a second date then thats a bonus!

I'm chatting on POF to a 23 year old who I'm sure I have walked past several times cos he lives on the next street to me. Not sure whether his extreme youth or proximity is the more shocking

To add salt to the wounds of being single again got a text very late last night from exh meant for his new gf! It was vomit inducing but made me wonder how he can manage to find someone and I can't.
Ho hum the New year will bring a vast amount of gorgeous men to my door .

daisy you will. I am sure you could get someone just like that. But you don't want just someone do you? If it takes time to find someone that's special then that's a good thing.

When I split up with stbxh I actually prayed (and still do) that he would meet someone so he would leave me alone! I really wouldn't have cared if he had met someone before me, but then that shows how dead in the water our marriage was. Now I am more worried he will be single for years and still be telling my dd how he can't let me go that's just me though I guess.

HELP!!!! SOS!!!!!!!

been up with DD most of the night, and i feel crappy too. ( so im going to be at home all day).. just logged onto the pc to check the news and my msn flashed up saying ive a new friends request.
Suspecting it to be spam i check it, and its from he who shall not not named.

Funnily enough i have only just deleted his msn ( not like i dont know it anyway) i had it blocked but was just holding on... same with the last few pics and texts ( am a sad cow) they all went this weekend, a month after i fouind out what was going on.

Now, this is not unusual, we have argued before and he always makes the first move to get back in contact, its ususally around the two week mark. Seeing as its now over a month, and seeing asi rained down flames on his head and it was the most bitter, but hurtful conversation we have had i was truely never going to talk to him again. I, just, well, i cant concieve that he wants to talk after i was so hurt, yes he was appolgising, but i was SO hurt. makes me cry now just thinking about it.

So - do i accept the request and see what he has to say? Or do i just leave it.

Who is he who shall not be named again?

also, this man never appolgises, not really. Last time we spoke all he kept saying was that he was really really sorry. Just ver and over again and that he knows i now wont believe anything he has said, but he promises me that he meant every word.

i told him i didnt believe him and never would and that him knowing me as well as he does should know that the very worse thing someone can do to me, is lie and betray my trust. Which is exactaly what he did and for that reeason i regretted every second ive ever spent with him.

Watch. I'd ignore the friend request, really. If he truly wants to apologise, there are more difficult ways of doing it than pressing a button on his computer. If you accept his msn request you are making it really easy for him to worm his way back in. He may well manage to do that and whether you do ultimately forgive him is, of course, up to you, but i'd make it as difficult as possible for him.

you've told him how you feel about him and his betrayal of your trust. It would take more for me to start talking to him than pinging you a friends request in msn.

...and daisy - do you think ex did that on purpose?

he is a cock who i really should draw the line under.

but also, i dont know, its compllicated. Someone i met a long time ago, who i instantley fell in love with and who i thougth was wonderful. Timing has never been good, distance is in the way, lifestyles are way different. My inability to promise committment and his somewhat pathetic need to not be on his own have just meant that the issue of it all actually happening never has. Or, when we do sort of say go for it, oneo f us gets cold feet.He is the most awkward of men and im never sure a relationship with him, balancing a child and a dog and all that would fit togteher, in fact, im pretty sure it wouldnt. Hence my hesitation. He is aware that this is a very real problem and says he doesnt want to put me in any awakward positions where i have to comprimise anything. So he pulls out, to protect me from that.
He, despite being amazing, has a complex about being on his own and gave up waiting for me. So we argue about this. I wont do anything because he is with someone and he wont do anythong because he fears being alone.He wont leave her til i say yes, i will move in with him, which i would never do as im not sure i want to even live with anyone.... let alone upping and moving county and risking everything ( again).

So thats the whole stupid situation. I do know ive wholly blammed him in the past, blame is about 50/50. Its just easier to blame him than myself.

So, when i say hes my very cloes friend, i actually meant he is a lot more than that. However, he lied. He lied big time. And as far as im concerned, that undoes everything veyr very quickly.

snape - you are right. i could not forgive him now anyway. I would always be thinking he was lying.

Once somone breaks my trust ( in such a spectacular way) then there is no going back.

watch if you and he were going to be together, you would have been by now. He is with someone else and should be focusing on her, not chasing around after you. As far as I am concerned, anyone prepared to use someone like he appears to be doing with his GF, is not worth pissing on. (this is the guy that had you decorate his place isnt it?)

I wouldnt accept his request.

this is the guy who had me decorate his place, yes.
ANd i know, its awful and ive told him thaty many many times and the very fact that he is chasing after me when he is now LIVING with somone means i would not touch him with a barge pole.

Ignore it watch. He will be arrogantly expecting you to accept and pick up where you left off just as you have always done previously. You need to take control of the situation now and not let him do this to you. He. Is. History!

As for him lying, he is living a lie. He has a girlfriend who I assume thinks she is the object of his affections, meanwhile he is chasing you. That says a lot about him. You would never be able to trust him. Don't give him another thought. For your own good.

Yup, he gets you to decorate his place then moves his gf in who he is willing to dump like a shot for you so he says. He has no respect for either of you. STANDARDS!

Definately have no contact with him Watch. He hurt you alot and lied to you and as you say he has betrayed your trust in an unforgiveable way. Chatting to him either on FB, msn or face to face will bring all that hurt back. Hope your OK

There is a saying I have quoted before 'Men are like monkeys, they will only let go of one branch when they firmly have hold of another'. selfish self centred thoughtless wankers

And if he doesn't like being alone with himself then he quite possibly has other issues too.

Nah, you don't need the complications watch.

Chatting to him gives him the message that it's ok to treat you like crap, that no matter how badly he behaves you will be a constant in his life. As stay says, STANDARDS!

I know.

I don't think its about standards, its more about he totally betrayed me, he knows I have trust issues abd knows I struggle somewhat with the emotional side of things and that I rarely open up to anyone. He knows this abd still lied. Its way past standards.

I'm ok :)

In which case, watch - don't even consider replying to him or adding him ever again.

And hes known me and we had spoken 3/4 times a wee
k for 2.5 years. This wasn't someone who id only just met.

Ive deleted it.