Here's hoping on finding a decent guy/girl under the mistletoe who doesn't use hun or text speak. Dating thread No.7

[Zanywany]

Off you go

You know what to do

Champagne - perfume on the way in - sewage on the way out.
A nice light Aussie semilon blanc and a packet of TimTams would be much better!

Just back :) we met at 130, and the time flew. He's really lovely, we are Toyalky on the same wavelength. He brought me a present... Black bomber cheese, which he gave to me at the end of the date. Had a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Despite the blonde ( its more mousey ) I liked him and did find myself wondering What it would be like to kiss him. I would happily spend more time in his company. And now, I wait.....

Sounds like a good afternoon Watch :)

And he has good taste in foodstuff! :0

Fingers crossed that a text or phone call is in the pipeline then watch.

Nope, and I'm wrong again. Despite the cheese abd the kiss :(

I texted to say thanks for the cheese and that I had had a really nice time. He just replied with ' enjoy'

Oh well.

That's a bit of a shit response. Hardly shows much enthusiasm and borders on rude imo after what you texted.

I know. Weird.

Esp since he gave me tge present, it was a total surprise. He didn't have to give it to me.. and he made the move for a hug and a kiss.

Weird.

Can't be doing with waiting, wondering. So have gone aganist my.usual rules and text him and asked if he would like to do it again sometime. Least ill know ASAP that way. But what a confusing way to behave.

ah watch that's a shame :( i agree with sparks it does seem a bit rude of him tbh.

No spark apparently.....

Hmmm. Obviously not my fault. But at what point, having not had a spark with anyone decent, do I wonder if it is actually me?

No self doubt allowed here Watch! :)

What it does prove is you're better off being proactive and taking the initiative. How long might you have waited if you'd left it to him to tell you that!?

he wouldnt have, wold he. SAme as mr mince pie from tuesday. Though to be honest, i didnt really need to confirn that did i, i knew full well when he just repolied with ' enjoy' to my text saying i had had a nice time etc.

i have a little self doubt. Ive always thought ive comr across really well. Im confident, can talk to any one about anything and am lucky that i can usually fit in and find common ground with most people.

But it seems with my 3 years of online dating i either get ' no spark' or just sex. there is never a middle ground. Never a ' they seem ok, lets meet again and see what happens' its an unusal situation i think, and i am wondering if im just crap at dating.

I mean, signals wise, he gave me a present, walked me to my car and made a move for a hug and a kiss. We didnt stop talking the whole time, there was lots of laughing, bit of flirting and a quick coffee turned into a 3 hour chat. I left thinking it had gone really well. BUt now im confused as to weather i just judge social situations totally wrong?

watch I totally understand because its very much the same for me - I've never got to a second date with anyone I liked - even when the date itself has seemed to go well I do often think it must be me, cos back in the day when I was young and used to meet men in pubs & clubs, they would all take my number but I rarely got a call - whereas my friends who did the same almost always did.

but really, truly, I dont think it is us. I think men are just shit and stupid a lot of the time. Or if it is us, its only that we are so great (I'm not so sure about myself but I think that you're amazing - and any man should think himself lucky to get a second date with you!) that men can see they cant possibly match up to us

Worst case, we can become mad rum-drinking dog ladies (cos cats are scary)together :)

Maybe not Watch, but i still think you're better off being proactive rather than waiting for the other person!

You're being too hard on yourself. You'll never know what's going on in someone else's head,especially in the early stages. I guess the positive aspect is you found out early on. Last year i saw someone for 9 months who showed all the signs of having a future only to have the rug pulled on me.

You're after a meaningful relationship. If they were easy to find they wouldn't be meaningful or special. Nowt wrong with you, just a case of persevering. :)

Sponge, I am already a mad rum drinking dog woman. Maybe that's the problem??? LOL

I'm not amazing. Decidley not. But thank you :)

I don't know quite what it is, but I'm either the sex girl, or the girl who seems ' nice' chatting yesterday with the one that sent tge cock shot who said I was amazing in bed and a huge amount if fun and how much he missed my sense of humour.... I wonder if that's just how people see me, this girl that is excellent fun, but not good for anything more???

Well that goes to prove you have nothing to worry about then doesn't it Watch!

If he says all that and fails to build on it that's his loss not yours!

It might, except he didn't want to date me either.... And I suspect was just saying that to try to stop me dropping him in it wirh his gf.

I just don't get it. I don't think I look awful, I'm.fun :) Funny, clever, read tge news, love currant affairs, hate soaps and reality tv. Camp, play guitar. Love music and festivals, go to the cinema, love film ( not just chick flicks) I can talk sport and politics. I don't shop for hours and I can look after my car myself :) I love being outside, hiking, growing veg.... Cook, bake and am on the kinky side :) but it doesn't seem to be.enough, you know.

Watch you are gorgeous. You have lovely shiny hair and you are definitely fun. It is THEIR loss honest.

And look at me - I also have no success with men. But I'm the opposite of you - I love reality TV, I could happily spend weeks shopping. I am shit at outdoors stuff, I have never camped in my life, getting muddy makes me cry (honestly). My garden is a wilderness cos I'm too feeble to sort it out. I have no exciting hobbies (unless you count shopping or going to the pub).

Actually that prob makes it clear why I at least can't get a date

watch, like most of the women here you do seem to tick every box. In a parallel universe if I looked at a profile that covered all that and saw your pics I'd be keen to meet and see if we clicked... but it's the clicking that sometimes just doesn't happen.

I remember being about 12 or so and asking my grandmother (the nice one ) if I would ever find myself a girlfriend. She very kindly told me not to worry as there's someone out there for everyone. I must have had a worried look 'cos she asked me what was wrong and I said something like "But what if they're in Germany or China! I'll never even get to meet them and we'll both be stuck on our own!"

Sponge, but I don't get further either. Ok, so that rules those things out, for both of US :)

Thing is, after a while you do begin to wonder.if it is you, you know. You have been single same lenght of time I have as well. So you get where I'm.coming from. Only difference is I've been on so many dates I've lost count. Which I'm sure sort of makes it worse.... If it boils down to a numbers game then odds should be that something should have happened Bt now????

And I love your hair too. Though sadly great hair does not equal fantastic relationship! Lol

Watch, sorry the date today didn't come to anything. I've been on my own for ever like Sparks said the reason someone special is hard to find is because it is special when you meet that someone.

I find being on POF like pulling teeth sometimes. I chat to people who look nice and tick the boxes and always ask questions to keep the convo going but they answer in onliners and hardly ask me anything back? These are men who contacted me and think I'm funny etc, because of what I, so the cannot have gone off me as we have never met. So I've stopped replying to about 5 recently because of this problem.

Is it lack of social skills or what?

Might say merry christmas to them all, if they are still around in a couple of weeks and see what response I ger. I need someone who can hold an intelligent conversation ffs and won't meet someone unless they can.

adams - i think you can go off people via email.i know i do. if yoiu dont click on email then you arent going to click in rl . Also i tend to think that if they are actually interested that the messages will get longer and become more like a chat, one word replies kind of says that they arent. I do one word replies when i cant be arsed ( when im not that interested)

anyway- my closing stats for 2011, because im not going on any more dates this year, are as follows:

17 first dates ( there might be one or two more, but i cant remember, i bloody forgot a few and only remembered them on the way into work

4 of which ive seen more than one

3 of those 4 the second date was all that happened. The other became a fwb for a while.

5 of the 17 ive slept with.

make of that what you will. but i do think 17 different dates in one year is rather a lot. I have become the dreaded serial dater!

You are a tryer watch I will give you that. I admire you, you have embraced this whole dating lark and thrown yourself into it with gusto, that's what it's all about. So, you haven't met the man of your dreams but you have met some pretty decent blokes and had a good time along the way. It's no reflection on you at all that there is no spark in some of the cases, it just means that the bloke is looking for something personal to him which he doesn't feel he has found, something he may never find, who knows but it's his loss not yours!

I'm looking forward to hearing all of your 2012 dating updates!!

watch I don't think 17 dates is all that much! I agree with time, what's the point of Internet dating if you are half hearted about it! If I hadn't met S so soon into it I would have done just the same! I also like reading about your dating adventures and I have no doubt you will meet someone right for you eventually!

Well, I still have two weeks until I can see S again. It's dragging by despite loads of Christmas shopping and kids Christmas school rubbish. If I have to sing little donkey one more time, I am going to do away with myself!

Hope everyone is well!

gold star for effort then?

i should have kept a list of all the ones that arranged a date and then disappeared days before, because im sure there have been about another 8 or so.
and then the ones that have arranged a date with me and ive disappeared on, again, there is probably at least 8 of those.

it sounds like a lot of dating, but its really not. My two favourites were mr epic sex, and the super hot one i pulled in the summer that got me steaming drunk on jagermeister and we danced ON the bar and i took over the dj booth for a short while. that was a really really fun night :)

Absolutely a Gold Star for effort!!

I think in 2012 we should conduct a little experiment. For one date you go as yourself and be yourself for another wear a flowery dress, cardi and Jesus sandals, drink only tea or hot chocolate, giggle a lot and flutter your eyelashes when talking, for another 4" stiletto's, a pencil skirt, a tight top and a wonderbra, drink vodka, lot's of eye contact, lot's of body language and very little talking, then let's see which persona pulls the plonker!