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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

There's going up be a showdown

45 replies

witherhills · 27/11/2011 18:13

just found receipts for Friday night for best part of 3k.
I can't ignore this
He was out with clients but there is no way he is going to be able to get this through expenses.
He has this money, and he has recently "given" me a substantial amount, but 3k wasted?
I'm so angry

OP posts:
Magneto · 27/11/2011 18:14

What the hell did he do in one night to spend 3k! Shock

Pancakeflipper · 27/11/2011 18:17

Wow - those clients had a good night.

TheGoddessBlossom · 27/11/2011 18:18

I hosted a client dinner for 8 at the Oxo Tower last week, 3 courses and bar bill came to £1500. Just for compare and contrast purposes....

RandomMess · 27/11/2011 18:19

OMG and he doesn't want to pay for a cleaner at home, the mind boggles...

izzywhizzysmincepies · 27/11/2011 18:23

What are the receipts for?

Fine dining and fine wines at Le Gavroche?

Original poster
witherhills · 27/11/2011 18:31

Not the itemised receipt, just the cc copy, so just the total amount, which suggests he's not going to expense them.
3 for restaurant which would have been bottles of champagne or booth with huge bottles of spirits, and one for Hotel bar for 2k.
There was about 15 of them, I don't think it's anything dodgy, I can see what it was like, brokers, traders, Arab clients.
He's the first to put his hand in his pocket.

OP posts:
tooearlymustdache · 27/11/2011 18:32

i don't understand.
he has the money, why the showdown?

izzywhizzysmincepies · 27/11/2011 18:37

£200 per head is not a great deal for a night on the town these days.

Original poster
witherhills · 27/11/2011 18:38

3k wasted on alcohol?
3k is a fantastic family holiday, or deposit for new car, or school fees, or a new front garden or new roof, all of the things that we as a family need. DS needs a new bed, we need storage.
He complained last week when I suggested getting a storage room for £40 a month

OP posts:
Original poster
witherhills · 27/11/2011 18:41

Maybe these other boys will be splitting it with him, but I doubt it.
I reckon they spent money too.

OP posts:
Magneto · 27/11/2011 18:48

3k would be an entire new car for me Wink not just the deposit!

AbbyAbsinthe · 27/11/2011 18:48

Fucking hell. Different world...

Magneto · 27/11/2011 18:49

Sorry pressed send too soon, is this a regular thing he does?

MarshaBrady · 27/11/2011 18:49

Sounds about right, given what my friends in the same industry spend.

Original poster
witherhills · 27/11/2011 18:58

Well he takes clients out all the time, but there is a limit and would usually be on his corporate card with carefully kept itemised receipts.
This is all personal accounts.
Here's me trying to make a few quid selling DS's clothes on-line. Ha.

OP posts:
Magneto · 27/11/2011 19:00

Is the company in trouble? Could be why he's having to pay for it himself.

Original poster
witherhills · 27/11/2011 19:17

Magneto it's not his own company, it's a bloody bank! he's very conscientious but he's not going to take that on.
It's so that he is seen to be the big guy, the big flashy generous one
Tossed
It's all going on the list to talk to the solicitor about. Reckless spending

OP posts:
ArtVandelay · 27/11/2011 19:35

Wow, that would make my blood boil.

But, he is a fancy banker type and I'm assuming he gets paid plenty. Surely you can't expect him to go to the Harvester for a 2 for 1 deal? Its all part of the thing isn't it? Like he can't wear Primark shirts and take jam sandwiches and a flask for his lunch!

Its jaw-droppingly wasteful IMO but sounds like part of his job. Have you always taken exception to this wastefulness or have you changed? I know I was a fool for shopping when I was younger and I'm an absolute scrooge now.

I would guard against going in all-guns-blazing and aim for getting what you really want which is more money for the house and DCs.

AnyFucker · 27/11/2011 22:24

Well, ok

So have a show down

Whatever

You will stay with this tosser, though, ebaying for kids clothes for all you are worth

have a rant, by all means

but you need to change your life, not just have a bit of a shout ...

izzywhizzysmincepies · 28/11/2011 02:20

Ah, but it's £3k AF.

The OP wants to get her money's worth because it doesn't seem as if she's got much chance of getting her mitts on his Grin

Get a Harry Winston brochure, wither. Mark off at least 3 items you expect to find in your Christmas stocking, and make up a little flick book - still images that appear to move? ykwim? - sit him down in front of the tv and when his gaze is firmly fixed on the screen, you enter side right- or left - and flick those pages in his line of sight.

It's called subliminal imaging. Works every time.

Original poster
witherhills · 28/11/2011 08:04

He's always been very flashy with money, even when he had none,
Maybe it's fine that he has a blow out like that, he works hard for his money after all. He's just got some bonus share money
AF, Don't lose patience please, I will sort this.
We did have a discussion about the unfairness of the money situation and he made a point of transferring some.
I have to be in a position that I can move out if he refuses. 3k would go a hell of a long way upwards that.
I annoys me that I haven't been able to raise £200 for a solicitor appt, and he can just blow £3k.
Nice idea izzy!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/11/2011 10:09

I am not losing patience, WH

I am simply pointing out what is under your nose

Barreal · 28/11/2011 10:43

I can't believe what you women put up with.

Original poster
witherhills · 28/11/2011 12:22

"You women?"

It can happen to anyone trust me.

OP posts:
ArtVandelay · 28/11/2011 12:48

How are you feeling today? Did you discuss this yet?

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