surrendered wife

[ilovearnold]

Has anyone read the book and adoted its philosophy........................................????

adopted - sorry !!!

hopefully not

I know one MNer tried it. They are divorced now.

Yeah...i did...

HaHaHa

I don't think I could bear to read the book - can't imagine getting past first page

Pointless surrendering to my DH, he takes no prisoners....

How do you fancy being a Surrendered Housemate? OK, it basically means you'll do all my domestic stuff, shop, cook and launder, manage my diary and boost my ego frequently. And have to ask my permission to do stuff of your own. Without any pay. I'll give you pocket money, though, and lurve you for all you do and are :) Deal?

Are you insane? No really, are you insane?

Can you read? No really, CAN you read? Do you have any idea what subjecting yourself to this shit entails?

My dh would freak if I pulled a stunt like this on him. He likes me to be an equal, best buddy, best for a laugh and a joke. To do that I do have to be equal, maybe not in strength, but in personality, all this submissive crap is for men who are too insecure to be happy with a woman who has her own mind, friends, body, voice.

If this appeals to you, ie the idea of having someone else make the decisions and living like a pampered pet, a much healthier way to do it is via the BDSM community. Because then you know what you are doing, can explore and discuss it and agree the boundaries between you.

Wasn't there an episode of a programme like "wife swap" where one of the participants followed this? She was actually quite disturbing- like a stepford wife and her husband was a yuppie creep.
She was like a blow up doll with a pulse.

surrendered husband?

The Pankhursts are turning in their graves.

Several years ago I saw something about this on TV and bought the book. I think I maybe tried out the techniques for a few hours before DH got freaked out!

With the benefit of hindsight it is clearly bonkers. No way it would work for us now as DH works long hours, I am SAHM and I have to make almost all decisions about our home and family single-handed.

OP, if you want my very old but pristine copy of the book just out of curiosity, PM me with your address and I'll send it to you.

I remember the thread from the mumsnetter doing this. Sounds awful, manipulating from both sides. Just be grown ups and talk and share. This is not the answer to your relationship problems.

What could be nicer than living under a lifestyle in which "rape is a gift"?

I've read some stuff about it.

Honestly my thoughts are that if your husband is genuinely the kind of person who would want this, you should leave him. Because you deserve to be with someone who admires and respects you for who you are, as a full human being, not some weird fake "front" of a person, amounting to no more than a domestic servant.

What is it that appeals to you about it?

Someone, please post summary. Sounds fascinating(ly hideous) and be interested to know what book suggests.

There was a link on a thread a few weeks ago to some religious site where the woman described how she used to view marriage as a battleground and was always putting her husband down, shouting at him etc, then she discovered how nice it was to be surrendered and now he is the master in his own home and it's lovely. I did wonder whether she'd ever heard about the happy medium, you know, the one where you both pull in the same direction? `Anyway, who says the poor bugger even wants the burden of making all the decisions?

The very word 'surrender' implies you're starting from the view that marriage is war.

Its should be a partnership, synergistic.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrendered_wife

www.surrenderedwife.com/

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-452327/I-Stepford-wife-saved-marriage.html

I thought the same when reading the "Relationship quiz" on the surrendered wife website, Annie!

HI all - i didnt say that i agreed with this book or that i had adopted the principles - i saw the book on amazon and was fascinated as its seems to go against many things we have been brought up to believe.

Thanks for link- the author defends herself by saying that there are ASSUMPTIONS made about her book- bad title i know....!!! l

Lapsed - you ask if i can read - does this imply that you have actually read the book or like the author says in her defense - assumed whats in? it.Im not saying you are wrong - im just wondering if you have read it ..and would appriciate summary- however the links kindly passed on have done that to some extent.
.Looking at it, i have some major issues and problems with it like having sex when dont want to but on the whole i dont think it the message may mean surrendering to a man but more like surrendering in a letting go sense to some aspects of control.

Im not looking to solve martital problems by the way- i just find it intresting-there are so many issues here - it reminds of the 1950s and 60 s which is enjoying a revial at the moment- pinnies etc! and all things retro .Also-burlesque which would not have been in fashion in the context of 80s politics!! - revival retro however that can be fun but those times also for some has a political context of trying to get women back in the home after they took on roles in the war-and i enjoy looking at social issues around books like this .