Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

Make if I were anyone else I'm sure I'd feel the same but about all my stretchmarks. I can't explain how I don't let it bother me... I just pretend they are not there really. I totally ignore them and go about undressing and shagging etc as if I were the most perfect woman on earth. Bravado maybe? Because underneath the exterior they do bother me really... I'd just never let anyone especially not a man think they bugged me.

We are 901 posts now and will be needing a new thread soon. I'm just wondering what we will call it if we are all hiding our profiles and leaving things to fate??

You know, this is a great thread, we have discussed so much, it's like therapy. Maybe we could work on our self images with the support of each other while we wait for fate to play a hand in our love lives? Just a suggestion, feel free to ignore me

FAB post Time... absolutely right.

Ok next thread tile should include something about self improvement or feeling better about ourselves... but still mention dating as well because I might find I get bored of RL or just need a shag with a mr right now and some of us are not hiding the profiles...

When I first left Him I was a wreck, truly a wreck. I was lower than low and honestly couldn't see a way out. That is when I learned that if I wasn't feeling it I had to fake it. I faked it for months, pretending in front off DD that I was brave and strong, planting a smile on my face and pretending to be happy. It was fake city round here but you know what, the more I faked it the more I came to believe it myself and the easier things became. So, the moral of the story is, if you don't feel it just fake it until you do. It works!!

Thank you!!

Yeah, I agree lubey cos I might get a leetle bit bored and want some attention curious too.

Time I always say if you've got it, flaunt it and if you haven't, fake it

I apply this to everything from nails to confidence to a happy smile. Fake it long enough with emotional things like confidence and it starts to become true and real and habit. I'm very good at faking my confidence til it makes a genuine re-appearance, which it will do with this sodding bastard 20lb off....

'Ditching the Whole Nut, dating or waiting for Fate to step in, it's all happening!'

or is that too much of a mouthful

I agree with timeforme being happy is the most important thing. I actually don't think men notice what we think of as our imperfections. They really don't. OK its been a while, but I have NEVER got undressed in front of a man and have had him anything other than exceptionally happy and grateful.

I am finding now that I am close to 40, young men (mid 20's) find me very attractive. I have given up being worried if my boobs are heading south or whatever else and maybe being confident and comfortable in my own body makes me more attractive than the 20 year olds that are more worried about it. I smile, laugh and have fun, perhaps because I think men that young and attractive would never be interested in an old battleaxe me so am relaxed. As a women a huge genuine smile combined with kindness, openness and honesty makes even a slight pigs ear into a silk purse, and I don't think it is so different for men who are looking for an actual relationship and not just a ONS. Chemical attraction is very important of course, but I would rather go on a date with a happy smiling person that makes me laugh than a broody sulky guy that acts all entitled and as if I should be grateful he is lowering himself to spend time with me

Love it Time! I think that's a goodun :o

sounds like we are on the same wave length lubey

A lot of the time these days I don't have to fake it, I feel that after all the bastard misery I have had in my life I am entitled to be confident, to own my space in this world, no matter how much weight I've put on!

I can't wait to get my kit off in front of a bloke! In fact, I think that's the only bit I'm looking forward to, the anticipation of that first meeting of naughty bits I'm not so bothered about all the rest, the 'relationship', I just want all the exciting stuff!!

I'm very close to 47 skinned and I'm attracting a lot of young uns too. When I look around at blokes my age, the majority of who haven't taken very good care of themselves, wearing polyester trousers under a big belly so they can still claim to have a 34" waist, old men shoes and bomber jackets, sparse hair they should really shave off because it would make them look so much younger, it doesn't give me a lot of hope. Men my age look so much older than their years so I can't help but be more drawn to the younger man

I agree Skinned

Confidence is very sexy in a man and it must be for men when they are with a woman too. Fake it til you make it :o

Time I think you should shag date a youngun

It's so heartening to hear other women saying that they feel good about themselves and their bodies. I salute you all .

OMG time - yeeeessssssssssss - the big belly that makes them look 4 months pregnant and often combined with shirts too tight that somehow accentuate it - beuch.

If they were really good fun I wouldn't care, and would look beyond to the person inside, but the guys my own age often seem a bit bitter and very guarded and not open at all. So I don't have fun with them and really cannot be bothered persevering -particularly with young hotties around The younger guys in their 20's seem, I don't know, more open and are not so sexist. Where I live I find guys my own age do seem to believe a women's role is to be subservient and the mans happiness is more important and in fact the women should gain her happiness in life by pleasing him [hshock]. That is not how I want to live my life would rather eat own vomit than love like that-- so am leaning more and more towards younger men - though that does have a lot of inherent problems too

At the risk of sounding like Gok Wan, it is all about confidence

I do think I'm pretty great most of the time BUT I do also own a mirror. So I can see that some parts of me are frankly not that attractive (weight gain and then the recent loss has left me with a tummy like a deflated balloon, bingo wings and saggy upper thighs, among other horrors!) I confess to holding the tummy in a few times on Friday But you know men aren't that perfect either (ie Friday night's hairy back - and Time no mine isn't! )

Generally though I do just get carried away and forget to worry! I am still not a fan of getting down to it in harsh lighting, but a lot better than I used to be in my 20s when I was thinner and had a much better body yet wouldn't ever shag anyone other than in total blackout conditions

Also I find that lots of exfoliating and moisturising works wonders -men just comment on how soft your skin is and don't seem to notice if there's quite a lot of it or it's a bit saggy/wrinkly/stretchmarked...:)

lubey I am seriously thinking the same myself! The young uns are far nicer on the eye that's for sure!

Skinned my ex wore a 38" trouser but he wore it under a huge belly that made him look a damn site more than 4 months pregnant! And he had these moob things that rested on said belly I used to secretly call him Orangutan tits He does look surprisingly like an Orangutan although I will give him his due, he isn't quite as hairy. Or as cute.

I agree with you re the younger men too. I chat to a few in my voluntary work and their views are so refreshing, they are much more laid back and less serious than the older farts ones. That's what I want!! Men my age are wanting the pipe and slippers, to settle down and remarry, and that's because they made such a balls of it the first time round they lost their lovely wives and now appreciate what they lost. Well, tough!! I learned a hard lesson while with my ex and there is no way I am allowing an old fart to park his slippers under my bed!!

Make by the time we have finished counselling with you, you will feel so good about your body you will be joining a naturist group

hatesponge you are SO right about the soft skin thing. Men seem to really love it :)

Ahh but sponge, not that attractive to who? To you, that's who, the person who should love you more than anyone else in the world! If you can look at those bits and consider them unattractive then you are giving other people permission to find them unattractive too. You stop that right now young lady!! Every single part of your body is attractive because it is who you are, it's you, it has done you well, given you children, been kind to you even though you might have been less than kind to it, it has never let you down. Who cares what anyone else thinks of it? They don't know it like you do. We should all be proud of what we have and sod what anyone else thinks. No one is perfect but while ever we are pulling ourselves down we are giving other people the right to do that too.

ha ha ha - you did make me laugh about the orauang utang time

Oh dear - maybe the next dating thread should be entitled 'let the inner cougar come out to play' [hshock]

I had better get working - got to go catsit. Maybe I will treat myself and pass the cakeshop on the way..........................

Do you think a man would climb into bed with you naked and get out again because your skin wasn't soft or you had a bit of flab and some stretch marks on your belly? Would he hell as like!

Talking of men, I wonder where PoppaRob has got to?? He must be very busy lately

On the subject of body image, I actually prefer my body in the bedroom than out of it and fully clothed

5ft and a size 18-20 clothes never look nice but if I have got a man about to be intimate, I am the sexiest woman alive (in my head) If he's got a hard on, he doesn't find me revolting

I went 10 years younger on my POF search last week and am still chatting to some now. I have to say, they seem to be more open to a 'real' woman. Had a night of passion with one the other night and it was great fun. Fit and free and out to please I don't for one minute think any of them are looking to date a 45 year old but the attention is great

While I'm waiting for Muscles to decide, I'm going to enjoy my 30 year old toyboys. It's the best confidence boost ever

Still not heard from sick note :( I always try to see the good in people which probably makes me a door mat so I will block and move on.
Wish I had body confidence, never had it when I was young and even having lost 4.5 stone I am still not happy with the result. I thought it was the weight that was affecting my self image and now I realise I just have image issues. I am 5'8 and 11 stone now in a size 12, I think I look good in clothes but naked yuk.
Noone interesting on pof so will put it on the back burner until after Christmas and start all over again.
This thread cheers me up no end :)

This will be us come next summer <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=naturist&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbnid=q2oaiQXtrrsbtM:&imgrefurl=petcher.blogspot.com/2011/01/naturist-beaches.html&docid=mmqYwxqm2mXDaM&imgurl=1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xho-t5ENkUk/TTl4lTDc3hI/AAAAAAAABzI/TovEXVqTKJg/s320/naturist%25252Bbeach.jpg&w=320&h=213&ei=10OtTqT_HYfR8QPKtf2PCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=304&vpy=247&dur=4257&hovh=170&hovw=256&tx=133&ty=101&sig=107002153643449042026&page=5&tbnh=133&tbnw=177&start=84&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:84" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=naturist&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbnid=q2oaiQXtrrsbtM:&imgrefurl=petcher.blogspot.com/2011/01/naturist-beaches.html&docid=mmqYwxqm2mXDaM&imgurl=1.bp.blogspot.com/_Xho-t5ENkUk/TTl4lTDc3hI/AAAAAAAABzI/TovEXVqTKJg/s320/naturist%25252Bbeach.jpg&w=320&h=213&ei=10OtTqT_HYfR8QPKtf2PCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=304&vpy=247&dur=4257&hovh=170&hovw=256&tx=133&ty=101&sig=107002153643449042026&page=5&tbnh=133&tbnw=177&start=84&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:84