Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

watch my ex used to walk in front of me all the time too, refused to walk at the side of me. I have figured out that as he was an ogler of women he assumed all men are and so by walking in front of me he could avoid stressing himself out at the thought of other men looking at me. Plus, he could ogle women without me seeing . My guess is that your ex just didn't like you getting attention and so refused to go out with you to make himself feel better, nothing to do with you at all.

sponge That's awful . We lived in his house, everything was his. He chose everything in it and wouldn't let me have a say. As for my belongings I wasn't allowed anything of mine in the house, he would often be found taking my things to the tip. I had no identity whatsoever while I was with him. I totally lost it.

We have a gas fire too sponge but I monitored it's usage last year and it eats gas so I won't use it. It seems more cost effective to put the heating on and heat the house a bit than have the fire on.

Yep my XP used to walk in front of me too, if I got too close he would deliberately accidently bump into me/tread on my foot and never apologised or asked if it had hurt me. When we got out puppy, now 2, he critised everything I/we did with her. I threw him out then stupidly got back with him a month after we got the puppy

good move zany!

We weren't allowed pets, now we have Lulu, 2 rabbits and a hamster! But strangely, he is now wanting to buy DD a dog, almost forcing her, showing her dogs online. He wouldn't have a dog when we were with him, he said they were too tying, which wouldn't have been a problem as we never went anywhere but I'm wondering if me being 'tied' to a dog now is what he wants, he knows I have a life now and he will hate that!

time you might be have a point about the fire, I suspect ours is the same. I should probably try and get the heating sorted out and use that more. This house needs so much doing to it though it's working out where to start...or rather what job to spend my hard earned money on getting finished first!

He just left and all is forgiven The redeeming features have done the job again. Twice :o

Yeah the texting thing is annoying but I somehow knew he was just going to revert to the original plans... which he did really but just a little bit earlier.

I just grilled him over why he hasn't accepted the 'in a relationship with...' thing on facebook and he says its too soon yet. Fair enough I spose and I did kind of spring it on him after one 'is this a relationship, yes it is' type conversation and got a wee bit overexcited :o So I will lay off him for now on that one. He said he will soon though.

lubey you are so fickle I'm sure you will have him setting his relationship status very soon

sponge A heating engineer did tell me last year that it's best to use the heating rather than the fire as quite a big percentage of heat from the fire is lost up the chimney.

Yes he isn't getting out of that one. Not for too long anyway. I mean we were just talking about xmas arrangements ffs it's not like either of us are planning on legging it anytime soon. And it's something I've never done before.... my exdh didn't even have facebook when we were married, most recent ex didn't have facebook either and my various other relationships haven't had any kind of future beyond a week or two's planning at a time so it would be nice for a change to have things actually confirmed by the font of all truth and being... facebook. I know I'm daft but I just reallllly want to :o Ah well I can wait a bit. Long as he keeps working that magic in the meantime and doesn't drop the non burping non farting facade

:) lubey you know the facade will be dropped at some stage. I have my 'friend' staying with me a couple of days atm for reasons to do with his rental agreement. It's totally doing my head in. Seriously, if you want to do whatever in the toilet, PLEASE use the bleach after and open the window. Boke. Nothing to put me off faster. I can't get used to someone invading MY space again. What hope do I have for a long-term relationship?

Eek i feel like I'm the new girl at school and can't keep up with you ladies and you already know so much about each other. Can I just have a rant instead??

I have had the delight of spending a couple of hours in ex's presence due to it being ds's birthday. I have never understood how someone is described as 'passive aggressive' but now I do. Twat, twat, twat!! Makes my blood boil the smug, condensing

ballroom awww don't feel like the new girl! You're part of the furniture :o

And yeah I know it will be dropped at some point. In fact he has already farted in front of me. But then I burped accidentaly in front of him so it was fair enough really! On that occasion anyway. I hope he doesn't make a habit of it though. urgh.

for you after having to put up with the ex

All these stories of abusive exes, just awful.

My gas bill has gone up to £83 a month, so over £100 now for gas and electric. Terrible.

Nowt to report. Local guy is on the back burner but he sent me a text and called me 'hun' plus he isn't saying much about himself. Other one hasn't been in touch but I'm not bothered as I have a fab weekend planned.

Spent another hour chatting with "the quiet one" and then we had a phonecall for half an hour or so. This is going to sound terribly shallow (as we haven't actually met yet) but she has a very annoying voice. She has FB profile pics that she says are recent and other she says are older, but I think she may be playing loose with the truth and swapping the chronology slightly confused. The "older" looking pics match her voice if that makes sense. She also made a comment about having lived in Queensland and how at the time "the bloody Japanese" had bought everything and even had separate queues for the theme parks (of course they did stupid woman - they bought them up on the cheap years ago!) so I felt her out on her attitude to refugees and boat-people checking for xenophobia and she changed the subject. Apparently the high points of living in Queensland were that her daughter had a horse, her son had a motorbike and she had a big house. As is usually the case with online dating we've put the cart before the horse and told each other the meeting will just be a formality and of course we'll have great chemistry, but now I'm having my doubts. :(

re Christmas... My mother loves the full on roast turkey and veggies and plum pudding wth all the trimmings number, so she goes to Sydney to see my sister and her family. I'll be having a bbq on the back deck with my daughter and a couple of other strays.

re The Women of This Thread and their exes... Some of you are new to the group and I don't know you as well as the original group, but you all come across as very capable people with a lot to offer the right bloke. I'd cheerfully spend quality time with you all and with some of you twice at least. :)

Ugh it's farting/burping and relishing in it gets me though lubey. Yeah we all do it but be discrete. My ds is already a typical bloke declaring to all and saundry what bodily wind has passed through his body and laughing:) Believe me I hit the early today trying to get my bp down.

adamschic hun??

PoppaRob sorry I'm one of the new ones and don't know anything about you. I would just say online dating, like anything online can be hit and miss. Some people are truthful some exaggerate somewhat. Trust your instincts. BBQ on the deck sounds glorious...Not one for christmas dinners not liking turkey and that but relish the time spent with my family because after spending so many years apart I know that's what it's all about.

Wow I cannot keep up with this thread at the moment.

The stories of exes make me feel like I got away lightly, some of you guys are amazing for turning your lives around so positively.

Ballroom I am so with you on the loo thing. I am training my DSs hard to keep the loo clean & lid down, if ExH is in the house to pick them up he always feels the need to poo in my loo....why?!?! Arghhh. I do not really want to share my home with another farting, loo staining, hair dropping man.

I'm v excited about my date on Fri, but am having the normal panics about axe murderers etc. Luckily I have a few good mates who will be keeping tabs on me with Iphone tracking (!) and coded texts - am I being over the top? I think I have a good gut instinct, but have been out of the dating game so long that I am scared of being swept away in the moment and missing the red flags.

You'll be fine wriggly, hope it goes well. Trust that instinct between that and your friends you'll be more than fine I'm sure - and good luck :o

Poppa you never know til you meet in the flesh. Good luck love x

I'm a lucky me again and getting a whole night of rampant shagging romance to follow our daytime tryst.

Lubey you are making us all jealous

I always have the kids at xmas, ex has never wanted them and they have never wanted to go. I'd actually quite like to be alone one year. He has always done new year but I never go out and end up crying at midnight that my year hasn't gone better than the one before and I'm still lonely, 12 years single mainly through choice but New Year's night is the one night I wish I wasn't

Didn't have any contact with Mr Muscles so thought no interest but he phoned today. Lovely to talk to, pics of his body make him my ideal man (enormous muscles, bodybuilder style, just my type) but I'm very wary still about the fact he is a widower. I am wondering if, after losing a wife he adored (very clear) and not going through a break up like every one else, will he be different? He also works in a field which means very little time off and very odd shifts but will be off dec/jan/feb as a whole.

No idea when we can meet, will grab a coffee in between shifts soon. if it all goes well it will be lovely for a few months and then back to no time. He tells me (from pics) I am beautiful, that he is looking for a partner and is ready to chance it again. I have colleagues in the same (very unusual) field as him and they have looked him up - it's all true, the job, his muscles, his singleness and sadly his wife. I have been told he is one of the good guys and has been through hell. He knows I know people he knows and has prob checked me out too lol

Am I looking for reasons to stay single I'm wondering? He has a job I admire, he has the body that makes me go OMG, on paper it's all very good - so should I be looking for reasons not to start? Do I meet him knowing I could quite possibly fall hard for a man that might still be hurting too much. Or should I hoist my drawers and go for something that could have the potential to be really good?

This is why I'm single!

I dunno MsCello I think maybe being a widower, although very sad situation is the ultimate in 'closure' and he must be feeling ready to move on - glad he checks out too. I don't think I can find a negative in there Just see how it goes and hopefully enjoy!

MrsC I'm good at finding reasons to stay single too but your Mr Muscles does sound very lovely! If you are still single on New Years Eve we can meet on here and have our own little party

Lubey, I'm sorry but a fart is far worse than a burp. I would allow you the burp slipping out but don't think you should be quite so forgiving of a fart, not so early on and especially as he feels it's too soon to switch his status on FB to in relationship. He cannot have it both ways!!

PoppaRob are you looking for reasons to stay single too I wonder? We all seem to go through this little areas of doubt before a date, it must be the standard thing.

wriggly I would be just the same as you with the concerns re axe murderers and the likes but when you think about it, it's not very often, if at all, you hear on the news that a woman has been found hacked to death with a potato peeler following an internet date so I think we need not worry too much

Well, I have got the heating on!!!! (Thanks for listening to me harp on this afternoon It's only on low and will be going off very soon but it's on!

Redeeming features, Time, redeeming features yes you are right though. He said he will do soon so I'll prod him about it again in a couple of weeks if he still hasn't done it

presuming he hasn't already driven me mental and been dumped

Have been overtaken by feelings of peevishness. Nothing at all from sexting man today, so I suspect Fri is off. I was also supposed to be seeing friends this wkend but that's been cancelled as well, so now I have no plans whatsoever :(

Nothing worth responding to on POF. The messages I do get just reinforces what a friend once told me, that men don't see me as 'relationship material'

I'm going to have to get a cat or four aren't I?!

Pof is a nightmare!! I deleted mine tonight cos I'd had enough.

Don't get cats hatesponge doggies are the way ahead :)

MrsC he does sound lovely. Of course it will affect him but he seems to feel ready to date again which means a lot. I can tell what trepidation you might have though.

sponge maybe the decent guys on POF just think you are way out of their league and so are scared to contact you. You look lovely and I have no idea why men wouldn't see you as 'relationship material'.

Maybe we should set a deadline and if we haven't stumbled across anyone decent by it hide our profiles until the new year, see what 2012 brings

And don't listen to ballroom, who wants to have to trail out with a dog in this weather on a dark winters night? Get a cat, much more single lady user friendly

Lubey - the relationship thing on fb. Has he even put in a relationship? Doesn't have to specify who. I don't see how it can be too soon when you have discussed being in one. I haven't specified who on mine neither has s (though I would accept if he did).

Can't actually imagine s farting. I would probably crease up being immature