Open marriages - SGB, can you help?

[mysecretname]

Felt a bit bad PMing you, so am doing it kind of out in the open...except I've namechanged so...

Right, to anyone who isn't SGB, what I don't want is people coming on here and telling me why my DH and I shouldn't have an open marriage. Funnily enough, we've done all the talking and we're both very happy to have a 'see how things go' marriage with lots of communication and respect for each other. So don't tell me off please!

To SGB, and anyone with an open mind, or experience, I have a couple of technical questions...well, one big technical question:

When you meet someone you fancy, I would only ever be honest with them that I'm married. OK, now I have met someone, I have only ever been honest with him that I'm married. And we've flirted, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same way about me. But, if we kissed, I don't want him to think badly of me. I don't want him to think I'm the sort of person who cheats on her husband. And I don't want to kiss someone who is thinking that they're cuckolding my husband, who I love and respect.

But how on earth do you tell someone you're in an open marriage? Do you just say 'oh, by the way, I think you fancy me and I fancy you and my husband's fine with me having a fling'?? Which I don't think I could bring myself to do.

Can you help? Or at least point me in the direction of a good, trustworthy, non-weird website I could look at?

Yes, I appreciate that there is an endless fascination with other people's sex lives, most people enjoy a gossip, but this is not the same as actually caring or giving a damn, is it?

Yes, SlinkingOutsideInSocks, and others besides myself have pointed out -quite reasonably- that he may not give a shit anyway.

I think it is the way that she said words to the effect that she would be ignoring the posts that didn't wholeheartedly support her position that tells me everything I need to know about her suitability for an open relationship i.e. she is not suitable for one.

People here have been accepting that people have open relationships -one or two have slagged them off but they left several pages back.

I ask myself this: If a person cannot take a few anonymous people- who are not actually slagging off the open relationship lifestyle but are being calmly and gently critical of her opening post in a non-judgemental way without metaphorically sticking their fingers in their ears, how on earth are they going to function in the real world in an open relationship?

You see if she had just said: 'You know I hadn't thought that he may not care' or engaged with people, that would be perhaps indicative of the sort of open-minded person who actually could have an open relationship successfully.

But, to be fair, the original OP didnt ask anyone whether she could have a successful open relationship or not. She will find that out for herself, one way or another, anyway.

I wouldnt choose one myself at this stage of my life either, but why would the OP care one way or another- she didnt ask that.

A slagging off on a post is fair enough in some instances, but I cant see the point of knocking her on the head for something she specifically didnt ask about, and which she said she didnt want to engage in.

On the other hand, cant think why she didnt pm SGB in the first place either- even the thread title was dedicated!