The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

Morning Babes

Cidre - welcome back to the Bus, I remember you from before. I see that you have already witdrawn your referral, which is your right, but PLEASE, get to an AA meeting ASAP. You will be amazed at how unscary the kindness of stragers can be. Good luck for today x

Clambering - my fellow PMTer! Let's just huddle together on the back of the Bus away from the wind and cold draft near Gerald's doors, I'll ask Silver to tighten his bolts.

thinice - hey, you okay? You seem a bit anxious today. Come and sit at the back and keep warm. Oh, no don't! You'll melt! Kidding, get yourself over here.

Saf - you okay? You know where I am. xx

MsGee - how is LittleMsGee and weegate/poogate at the mo?

Nemo was sick in his sleep last night and nearly choked when DH put him back to bed, I have to grab him and blow in his face to get him to cough out the sick. Poor wee mite. So he ended up in bed with us and was v poorly all night. No nursery today.

Just lots of cuddles and snuggles.

Hi jiggery welcome onboard
Any one thing that has happened at home in past year, or is it just the gradual build up of the many things you have to do in your life?
For drinking when at home, easiest is not to buy it, and to avoid temptation - not to have it in the house. These really help me. Like you, I drink more at home than socially.
Also, a more long term issue is to do some exploring, with counsellor, therapist, friends, etc, about why you are drinking. Lack of other forms of comfort? Pushing yourself just too hard, including at work? Anxiety about everything or about somethign specific? Anger? (that's one of my top ones and a classic - good Mummies don't get show anger do they?!)
Lots of wise babes on here - feel free to post more.

mouse - fourteen, wow, you deserve lots of hugs and praise, you have lots to deal with in your life, so well done for doing it without alcohol.
I am not drinking today, odaat.

Hey All

Another quick pop in, really busy at work

Just keeping it in the day, not going to worry about tomorrow until it happens

Puppy arrived yesterday and she is absolutely gorgeous . Had to be at work early this morning so was up at 6.20 and went out for a run, so am really pleased with myself. I even managed two runs of 5 minutes!!!! Impressive when you consider I couldn't run more than 60 seconds 4 weeks ago.

Welcome to all the newbies. And waves at all the oldies

Welcome jiggery, sorry, I X posted with you. So you're kinda at a crossroads then? Not sure what you want to do about the slipping down the slope but you know you have to act.

Why not stick around and see what you feel like each day? Or after a few more posts, a few more chats with us all.

You can only do what's best for YOU, and what's best for you NOW.

Just posting quickly 'cos I'm completely overloaded with work. I've got a 2 day workshop Thursday and Friday, and then only 1 week before I go on holiday. During next week I've got 3 days that are completely packed. It's making me get into a panic about how I'm going to get everything done in that time. Not useful, so I'm trying not to overthink it. MsGee I'm with you on the working alone thing. Last year I had a contract where I had to work in the client's office. I hated it. I was trying to type on the pc while simultaneously putting my fingers in my ears to block out the inane chatter around me. At the moment, this is my chattery place

cidre sounds like you've had a lot to think about over the past couple of days. This is a good time to get some strategies in place - try out the AA meetings, empty your house of drink, do whatever it takes. And keep coming on here (whatever happens as a result of trying the above) - you'll find lots of suggestions to help you distract yourself, reassure yourself, and maybe even challenge yourself. Welcome.

Mouse - poor Nemo and poor all of you. Give him a hug from me. How is he today?

thanks for asking about poogate . Amazingly after last week she seems fine now. She spent the weekend poo-ing a week's worth of poo out ... I kept hearing 'I Poo-ing' from her bedroom as she plonked herself on the potty. Fingers crossed we are through this one.

She is also strangely affectionate at the moment (unusual for her). Yesterday she said: "I is right, you is wrong. But that ok because you is still bootiful"

welcome to jiggery there are lots of us doing different things here but a few are not drinking till end of the month. Could you try not drinking for a few weeks to give yourself some space from it?

Afternoon all, just checking in, had a few too many to drink on Friday night, and the previous Friday night, ... bit of a pattern there! Like Jiggery, once I start I can't stop!

MsGee - he's clingy, understandably. Bless him. DH get's all freaked out but I just take it in my stride, go onto autopilot. I guess 'cos it's always been me to do that sort of stuff, his tubes, his meds etc.....

Such a relief to hear that DD is getting over poo-gate. And she's right, you are 'bootiful' - not in a Bernard Matthews turkey way you understand! xx

shake I read the Allen Carr book. One of the interesting things is that it's called 'the easy way to CONTROL your drinking'. In it AC explains that unlike smoking, where usually people decide to stop, most people find the thought of life without ever having a drink again frightening, or inconceivable - too scary to imagine going to a wedding, celebrating christmas, or dealing with stress all without a drink ever. He thought that if the book was called 'how to STOP drinking' then no one would ever buy it. From my own experience, and from reading many posts on here, I would tend to agree that for many, many people that is true.

I am wondering whether, because you know the system, there is something subconscious that is delaying you from going to the workshop. I totally understand about the financial side of it, but I also totally understand that when I thought about STOPPING drinking I could always find a reason to put it off. If I look at the month that is coming up for me: I have a work night away tomorrow which includes and evening event, I have a weekend with my oldest friend, I have a funeral on Monday, I have lunch with a friend on Wednesday, the following week I will be on holiday, as soon as I return I have a wedding, then 2 friends are coming to stay....... and so it goes on. Each and every one of those would have been a valid reason for me to delay my 'not drinking'.

I also know that on the occasions that I did set myself a date for stopping, I really hit the bottle hard in the days/weeks leading up to it - like having my last chance (although it never quite turned out like that). Please don't keep drinking hard just because you think it is your last chance. As most alcoholics will tell you, every day there is another chance to drink, it is just that some are choosing day by day not to do it.

I totally support what you are doing in going to the Allen Carr workshop, and it is good to have a focus. However, in the meantime, why not keep on coming on here, post about your drinking, post about what you feel about your drinking. We will all let you know what our favourite strategies are for those time, those feelings. Maybe you'll find something interesting in them, maybe you'll want to write some of the more appealing ones down, maybe you'll be so tempted by some of them that you'll find yourself wanting to try them. All of that is OK. I really hope that the Allen Carr workshop helps you in the way you want it to, but it really won't help to have some extra tactics and plans that you know about ot help you reinforce everything that you learn on the workshop. Sort of belt, braces and a wee bit of string....

Of course the last sentence should have been that "it really won't HARM you to have some extra tactics..."

A few reasons, financial worries which are easing now, a few deaths of a few close friends/relatives, the stress of a new more responsible job. Marriage is a bit bumpy due to both of our work and child care responsibilities don't get a lot of quality time together. Probably related to that I have developed feelings for/crush on another man but no affair physical or emotional, they don't even know about it, and I would never cheat but feel very guilty that these feelings exist at all. Guilt over the balance between work and parenting feel I haven't got the time I used to have with the children and am failing them. Classic mid life crisis stuff I suppose especially the crush am I 15 again??

So I guess I feel under a lot more stress and not very happy though I feel guilty about that too as know in the scheme of things I should count myself lucky compared to what some others are going through. I haven't really confided in anyone in RL about any of the above which is probably why I am drinking more in private. Bizarrely I am the type of person people confide in very easily even strangers but am very insular about my own problems to the point I feel very uncomfortable writing them down here.

venusandmars, that's a very good post which strikes a chord with me. Have been trying to stop drinking this whole year, each and every time I set a date, I overdrank the days before, and then found a reason why that day wouldn't work. Today is different because it was not planned, been scared into it (by my own action) so am not thinking will just have last drink, just hope I have already had it.
I've read the Allen Carr book, but did not find it massively helpful (for me) though I know others have found his books v useful. Would be interested to know about the workshop tho'. I hope you find it useful Shake.

Hi again, this is about my 3rd attempt over a while to get on the bus, but this time I have a steely determination in me.

I have to stop drinking, I'm fed up of looking at my puffy eyes in the mirror every morning, I'm sick of being so over weight when I barely eat at all, I'm sick of my self loathing, and most of all I'm sick of being terrified every day that I'm gonna keel over and die from liver failure.

Is it safe to just stop?
Please help me :(

ohhh loopy!!! you poor old thing! - unless you are downing a bottle of spirits everyday you will be fine to just stop! how much are you drinking? what are drinking?

Loopy, am also trying to clambour on board myself today. Maybe we can hold each other's hands?

< Cringe > A bottle of wine and half bottle of spirits...

how are you feeling now cidre? any better?

< grips cidres hand tightly >

hmm loopy, im no doctor but i think i would just stop, its a very excessive amount to drink everyday but unless you are bleeding or fitting i think you will be ok - i have met quite a few people who have drunk that amount and not had to detox

Loopy

Why not ask your doctor whether it is safe to stop?

FWIW I would guess "yes" but a professional would probably give you better advice.

That said, if he/she says you must taper off, then you need to be brutally honest. Say that you are not just a heavy drinker but that you have problems controlling the amount you drink. In other words, advice to "cut down gradually" won't help; a prescription might.

It's a shocking amount to drink isn't it? I felt so ashamed typing that :(

Hi loopy
Every night? Throughout the day? What happens if you try to stop? What have you tried before? If it's that much every day you might need some medical help, have you ever spoken to your doctor about it? Who else is at home? 20 questions, sorry, we are all here as support whatever you decide to do.

DD is seriously grumpy, that means she's getting better, right? I'm going to hoover in a bit, that'll make her really cross :)

Hi jesus. Yes thank you, feel slightly calmer, trying not to think about possible consequences of my impulsiveness. Not drinking, not wanting to drink, bit less sick. First day in a long time I have seen th pm without having had some drink.