The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Joins The Foreign Legion In Their Quest For Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol.

I can't just have one glass of anything, I have to drink until I pass out or run out. Whichever comes first.

This Bus is a place of solace and safety, where drinkers, non-drinkers and those who aren't quite sure can come and post or just sit and 'be'.

No-one will judge you, no-one will think any the less of you because we all have the same thing in common.

Alcohol.

And for those who want to read the journey's so far and the original thread by JWN, the lady who very bravely started these journeys for us, HERE they are.

(PS - the title is just for you notevenamousie)

Hi Positive, Day 3 for me too today. Am nervous about tonight being Friday, but am out for a bit, so hopefully not being here sitting on sofa will help. If (when) I get tonight out of the way, hopefully that will be a start to breaking the cycle.
I have a mug I decant my can into...being the right size. It seems a bit wasteful, but am going to ceremoniously bin it today as even looking at it reminds me of drinking.
To be honest, practically eveything in my life reminds me of drinking it is such a big part of my life, but small steps I suppose.
Hope today goes well for you all, to have managed not drink so far today puts me ahead of myself recently...

And Mouse thank you for welcome, both this time and last, and congrats on Day 16. Awesome
xx

a bit better thanks mouse. trying to define how i feel and can't quite - i sort of feel vulnerable (hate even saying the word let alone the idea of actually being it!) and fragile. i feel quite small

the application for a job i am interested came through and i'm a bit daunted - i'm overqualified but with slightly wrong qualifications iyswim - yes i do have experience of working with young people as i was a teacher but no i don't have a carer's nvq. yes i do have a counseling qualification but no i don't have recent experience of working with young people in a social care setting. and no i definitely do not have recent relevant references

i know i could do the job and i know i have a lot to bring to it and my experience and qualifications are actually higher level really than most people applying but i don't think i'll get it because they'll be in a narrow box view and will take on someone who has less experience and knowledge but pigeon holes the description better.

must admit i'm tempted to just bin it as i don't want to go through more disappointment.

basically i seem to have all the desirables and extras that they want but am missing some of the essentials and basics. the extras and desirables are actually higher than the basics iyswim and cover them in more depth but i don't think they'll see that.

so for example essential = nvq level II in Care and desirable = a counselling diploma. i have the diploma which is obviously a much more in depth and higher qualification but i reckon they'll just see hasn't got the poxy nvq and bin me.

it's a weird job market these days.

Positive

AA meetings are NOT classes. Everyone is equal and everyone in attendance is an alcoholic. We are all at different stages of our recovery from alcoholism and aim to help each other by sharing our experience, strength and hope of what has worked for us. There is a suggested programme of recovery, known as the 12 steps, but neither this nor anything else you hear in a meeting is obligatory - if you can restrain yourself from throwing chairs for 90 minutes you are welcome to attend! There are no dues or fees - instead, we have a whipround at the end to pay for teas, coffees and the room rental. Most people put in a pound but no one will notice if, for whatever reason, you put in less or even nothing at all.

Saf - I used to be in recruitment and IME, the employer would much rather have someone who has some experience but buckets of enthusiasm to do the job and to learn anything they are lacking.

They are looking to employ the best person for the job and that doesn't always mean qualifications are top of their list, regardsless of what they advertise.

Is it through an agency? Or direct?

If you apply and get an interview, they will be looking at you and how you can fit into the current dynamic of the team/place IYSWIM?

People buy people, and the best outcome would be for you to get a face to face interview with them. That way they can see you and decide rather than go off your CV.

Maybe even include a covering letter explaining why you'd be so good for the job, even though you realsie that some or the required quals are missing, you'd be willing to gain them should you be offered an interview or something like that.

Sorry, I'm excited for you!

Sounds like everyone is doing well, I haven't drunk since last Sunday but am entering the danger zone as its the weekend. I am not going to be drinking today. I am meeting with friends tomorrow so that will be more tricky but will figure it out. It's in the day so if I only had a couple might be ok it's only at home in the evenings I go for it. I am also meeting friends on Monday for "drinks" so will need to be careful but as its a work night I can say I am not drinking or limit myself to 2 so hopefully will be ok. I have friends over Sunday who are not big drinkers so no need to offer wine so should be fine. I am aiming for a hangover free weekend. I find it very inspiring reading through the threads and can see why people hang around.

Jiggery - planning sounds good. You seem to know what you want to achieve and not want to happen IYSWIM?

Take you time if you drink, plenty of water or soft drinks in between. In fact, venus taught me and others on here that if you start with a soft drink or two, you're less likely to neck your first alcoholic drink and therefore, gently ease your way into drinking. Mainly because you won't have a thirst on!

You're doing great, you should be proud of yourself.

Hello

Please can I get on the bus? Been lurking on and off for the last few months. Can't tell you how good it was to find this place. I thought I was the only one who struggled like this. Whilst I wouldn't wish this kind of battle on anybody, it's obvious that this bus is really helping people. It is so nice to see how supportive you all are of each other, and not just in the nice, kind way but also in the telling it like it is kind of way.

This is my first post on a forum. Why did I choose such a sensitive subject?! Hope I don't waffle too much.

Well there is so much I could say but I can't at the moment (DS, aged 3, does not stop talking and I cannot hear myself think). I guess the reason I've chosen now to post is that I really want to stop drinking TODAY and I know that I will find it hard tonight, it being a Friday... I was wondering if you guys had any tips on how to avoid temptation tonight. Whilst I feel particularly crap admitting this, my difficult time (any day of the week actually ) is around the kids' tea-time/bath time. I have three young children and whilst they are all wonderful they do argue, fight, cry, whinge, annoy each other, annoy the dog and just generally do my head in. Something seems to happen to them between about 5 - 7pm. They certainly don't wind down and get sleepy like I've heard some children do! Anyway, has anyone got any practical tips on how to cook a decent tea, keep them entertained and happy (and quiet, preferably!) whilst not giving in to the evil alcohol? I spend all day thinking 'I am so not going to drink tonight', then I'm so wound up by about 6 o'clock that I can't resist the wine. I know I have a million weaknesses and that most people handle this kind of thing much better than me. I am really, really trying to be a better mum. I just wish I could find something healthy that could calm me down a bit like a glass of wine does. Camomile tea just doesn't feel the same sadly! Any suggestions/secret weapons?

Good luck to everyone. You're inspirational.

Welcome to the bus Silly, I am more of an occasional drinker than a daily drinker so not sure I would have any good advice to give you but you can guarantee that one of the brave babes will be along soon with some good advice for you..... where is everyone this afternoon

Thanks, you two. Feels better to have got the first post out of the way!

DC3 is currently in a vile mood. Has wet himself three times today (and the day isn't over yet) after refusing to go to the toilet. He is currently shouting and screaming like a thing possessed. And breathe... I must not drink.

Good luck to everyone else fighting the battle

silly welcome. I also hate bedtime / bathtime and I only have the one. I find that I had to change my evening routine. Things like scoffing a meal before bathtime so I could avoid the kitchen when I came downstairs, sitting at the computer for the first half hour, having a soft drink during bathtime so I wasn't thirsty - whatever it took to not have the first drink. I'm also learning to reward myself differently after a tough day. Tonight my Friday night treat is a taped episode of grand designs ... And it's face pack Friday!!

On a less serious note, for those calorie counting can I take some off for a bout of 'upset tummy' (if you get my drift...).

Hi Silly Welcome to the bus!

I'm not sure about hints and tips about not drinking. There's the HALT thing. If you're obsessing about having a drink check that you're not Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. If you are any or some of those things then rectify those first. Food is your friend! particularly sweet things to begin with.

Some people like to have nice soft drinks in the house. I don't do that so much because it feels a bit like I'm not getting what I really want. I do have ginger beer in the house but that's because I like it and used to have it in the house when I was drinking anyway.

Distractions are good, keep busy until the urge to drink goes.

Every time you realise you're thinking about having a drink, replace that thought with 'that is my addiction voice speaking, I don't need to drink at all, ever again' (if that's your aim). Eventually the addiction voice stops chattering although it may take a while.

Best of luck!

Silly

In terms of practical advice, the best thing is to eat loads - your body will often confuse real hunger with the craving for a drink - and also go for strong flavours. Drink things that are sweet, like Coke, or bitter, like bitter lemon; eat Creme eggs, polos, even toothpaste. In oher words, ANYTHING that a glass of wine would taste horrible after.

Keep the house alcohol free and then stay indoors. Also, indulge yourself unashamedly on any bad habits that DON'T involve alcohol - tonight is NOT the night to stop smoking, cut out caffeine or start a diet!

Tonight will be a bit of "grin and bear it". Remember, though:

Lots of us have been where you are and have come out the other side - it gets better, and quickly
The "calm" is just an illusion - alcohol increases stress in problem drinkers
It is possible to be happy without a drink - I know, because I am

Hi Silly not sure if I can offer advise but found mine fought less and settled easier if i wore them out, so what about taking them and the dog for a long walk between 5 and 7? Perhaps you could have a snack out instead of tea at home or bring some thing with you? Don't know if there's a park near you but if so perhaps you could reward them with an ice-cream so they see it as something fun. Won't be so ideal with the weather drawing in but whilst its reasonable might be an idea. What ever you do know you can resist so good luck.

ps when I have been really stressed in the past I have found Valerian root quite helpful, the quality varies but Holland and Barrett are quite good. Must stock up on some more myself!

How lovely to have you all there, trying to help. Never told anyone about how much I drink, or - more importantly, I think - how much I need to drink. Gosh this is so hard. I don't know how those of you who abstain do it, I really don't. I quite often do day 1 of not drinking (although not as often as I should). Every few weeks I manage day 2. But I cannot remember the last time I managed day 3. By that time the hangover has gone and I somehow seem to forget how awful I feel after drinking and how destructive it is. How bloody stupid is that? That I feel invincible by day 3! Despite knowing that I have drunk far, far too much for the last 20 years.

Going to take the little sods angels out for a walk. And no shops nearby so it's just not just a sneaky plan to get some supplies in.

Hope everyone else is winning today

Silly I manage abstinence by going to AA meetings and even with that I have relapsed a couple of times (this is since March this year). I do the things suggested to me and it really works!

Try not to think of us 'trying' to help. Part of the AA ethos is that helping other people is actually helping ourselves because it stops us from obsessing about our own problems and reminds us of things that we can do for ourselves too which we may not have thought of recently, so really helping others is a selfish act

There are a few AA members on this thread and lots of people who have never gone to an AA meeting, it's all fine. Each to there own!

Afternoon Silly, welcome to the Bus

I'd go with getting rid of any booze too. And try to plan your day away from booze, places you could buy a drink etc and give yourself a break woman!

You have so much going on no wonder that you just get to the end of it and then reward yourself with a drink.

Find something else. Break the habit. I was always a 'when is it drink o'clock' person. If I didn't have a drink in my hand by 6.05pm, something was massively wrong!

I'm newly sober though, 16 days off the booze, and I intend to remain this way, but only one day at a time.

My sobriety came about because I was really ill. The decision was taken away from me. And, recently I have a liver function test done, as a routine check, and that came back as 'at high risk' so my GP told me to stop, even though I had already. And that too felt right, it was what I wanted to hear.

It feels like the right time for me to stop drinking. Do you feel like that too Silly?

I truly believe that if you want to, really really want to stop, then you will. And we'll support you all the way

Afternoon all

Positive

really, really hoping that tonight I can stick to just one glass and drive home.... I am going out with that in mind

Why do you want to have one drink? Surely after one, you will want another. I know I would. And having already had one, it will be extremely difficult not to have the next. I'm not saying you can't stick to one, just that, well, why chance it? One drink is nothing really. Not worth having. The only thing it will do is give you the taste for more.

I know it will be difficult for you not to have that first drink. But bear in mind it will be infinitely more difficult for you not to have the second, third, fourth drink.

Welcome silly I would just echo what others have said.

I can relate to the end of day glass of wine. I still struggle with that myself sometimes. I think you might need to change your routine to avoid those old habits. Plan something to do at 6 o'clock. Have a cup of coffee, mug of soup, hot chocolate, whatever alterntive drink you like. Have a snack. Phone a friend. Come and chat on here. Bake, iron, sew, jog on the spot. Whatever you need to do to avoid a drink. The feeling will pass.

How to stay motivated? Make a list of all the things you hate about what the drink does to you. If you abstain for a couple of days and feel yourself wavering, check back at the list. Remind yourself that this is your choice. This is what you really want and anything else is just the demon trying to coax you back.

cidre good idea to get rid of the mug. You don't need it anymore.

jiggery the weekend is danger zone for me too. I would suggest that you do not think about tomorrow or the next day or Monday. Just get through today. Use the strategies we talk about to not drink just for today and do not think about tomorrow.

When you know that you are going out it's best to plan your not drinking rather than 'hoping for the best' or 'see how it goes'. You need to plan in advance exactly how you are going to cope. Personally, I avoid socialising too much at the moment because it's too early for me.