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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In complete shock, help please

113 replies

inshockinshockinshock · 29/09/2011 16:47

Last night my dp and I were in bed sleeping, he woke me up to ask me yet more questions about my past (this is a regular thing, especially after he drinks) and we ended up arguing at 3am. This followed him leaving the house with a bottle of vodka and not coming back until this morning

Today my mum had an op to remove cancer, I had a 1/2 day from work to be with her afterwards and came home first. DP and I rowed again and whilst we were, his mum pulled up outside, so he starts yelling oh my mum can see your true colours now etc etc, so my response was to say 'when does she get to see yours, what about throwing the tea tin at my head so hard I had a lump the size of an egg or throwing your phone at me so hard I had a bruise that made my mum nearly vomit etc.

So dp was really mad by this point and backed me into the corner in the kitchen (his mum was still outside) and was screaming and raging in my face. I picked up a newspaper because his face was so close to mine it was frightening. He was frightening.

The next thing I knew my head slammed back, in to the cupboard, my nose popped and my teeth went through my lip. All this time his mum was outside. She took him away in the car after he had done it. He came back and is now refusing to leave saying he has to find somewhere else to go first.

I have to go out now to see my sick mum after her op with a lip so thick I can't speak and a swollen nose. He is telling me to say I opened the car door on my face.

He has apologised, but he says I drive him to it. I don't know what the fuck to do

OP posts:
jeee · 30/09/2011 13:44

I know you want to protect your mum, but I'm sure she suspects what's going on anyway, and knowing you've taken action to protect yourself will actually help her.

beakinthebeeswax · 30/09/2011 17:19

Herhissyness ditto that.
How the frigging frig dare he treat you in that way!!
Let the Police and courts deal with him.
Bet he would not hit a 6 foot tall man. Its easy for men like him to pick on women. If they picked on men, they would get their heads kicked in.
I love MN but stuff like this really enrages me.
If you near Bradford/Leeds you can come to mine. Seriously.

AnyFucker · 30/09/2011 17:24

That is exactly how I feel, when I read these threads, beak

HerHissyness · 30/09/2011 18:05

cheers beak.

Of course I stopped at the first line, cos that grilling wrt my former life was exactly what I had to contend with on a regular basis. Sad

He is GONE, I am free.

Inshock, you can be to.

TimeForMeIsFree · 30/09/2011 18:23

I get enraged too. I wish every woman who suffers domestic abuse felt brave enough to report the perpetrator to the police. I also wish there was a register which named every man ever involved in Domestic Violence so that other women could check before getting involved with them. It would save a whole lot of pain and heartache Sad

Tenacity · 30/09/2011 19:16

I am so scared of him. I am too scared to call the police, I just want him gone - if I get him charged and he walks free he will terrorise me I know he will

I think you might be wrong here. It could actually get worse now that you haven't reported him to the Police.

Whats to stop him from doing this to you again, or worse? If you have kids, no matter how hard it is, you gotta do the right thing by them. I'm not sure not reporting him for what he has done is the right thing.

You need protection from him, and I don't think you will get it by putting your head in the sand.

susiedaisy · 30/09/2011 19:23

Hope your ok op, lots of support on here, so much good advice I hope you find the strength to get away from him.

MigratingCoconuts · 30/09/2011 19:35

Nothing fresh to add to all the sensible advice here.

Just to say that we're all here to give you as much support and courage that you need to get throught.

You deserve better than this shite.

Wisedupwoman · 30/09/2011 20:24

Coming to this a bit late on I think.

This man probably has a diagnosable personality disorder with morbid jealousy which is also strongly associated with substance misuse.

It will only get worse.

Get the fuck out. Quickly.

foolonthehill · 01/10/2011 19:33

in shock are you there? Hope you're not...that you are out and safe. Thinking of you.........

Wisedupwoman · 01/10/2011 19:38

Yes, please let us know you're ok if you can.

beakinthebeeswax · 02/10/2011 08:50

Hey!! Let us know you are ok.

((((((((((((hugs and a tramadol for your poorly face)))))))))))))))))

xx

beakinthebeeswax · 02/10/2011 08:51
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