Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

advice needed desperately regarding social services

881 replies

wannabestressfree · 28/09/2011 21:10

I am desperate for some advice and wondered if anyone could help......

I have three sons. 14,10 and 7. My oldest is aspergers and ADHD, self harms daily and has had two stays in mental hospitals. On sunday he attacked me with a knife in front of my middle son. He didn't hurt me but obviously it was very scarey. He then absconded {he does this a lot} and eventually the police took him to hospital.

A house officer phoned me in the morning and said he would be requiring inpatient treatment but he is medicating at the moment [he is on a childrens ward} and so they have reversed the decision and say he is fit to return home. He self harms daily and his special education school has told social services they are refusing to have him back. I work full time as a teacher.

I told social services I wouldn't have him in the house......... this is after years of asking for help and they have phoned today and said they will give me respite for a week by placing him in foster care in our old home town. I cannot believe they would do this as this is where he absconds too and drinks and was basically told 'tough'......... no other foster carers would take him due to his mental condition. The social worker insisted I tell my school they were dealing with us {head was super supportive} and said they would be looking at the other children. I am so upset as I just want some help.

He will stop taking his medication when he comes home, attack the other children and roams in and out of the house. We are all exhausted.

So advice please............ do I take him back tomorrow or allow him into foster care that I know is not the right place. I honestly feel like they are emotionally blackmailing me..................

OP posts:
seaofyou · 16/03/2012 08:39

Wow Izzyizin was that in the papers! Fab you found it.....wannabe This is fab they have admitted it!
They have taken responsibility for it!
I am sure this will help you fight to get what your ds needs and sooner...keep positive with this statement they have published.

Maryz · 16/03/2012 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannabestressfree · 16/03/2012 10:16

How do I not know any of this?
I am so angry I feel I may combust.
I will pop back later............

OP posts:
Maryz · 16/03/2012 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maryz · 16/03/2012 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannabestressfree · 16/03/2012 10:45

Mumsnet may yet be famous again.............
Suddenly I have interest in my son's case...........
I will update you asap

OP posts:
Maryz · 16/03/2012 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wannabestressfree · 16/03/2012 13:12

Bob Stewart has just replied to my email which read along the lines of 'your statement was factually incorrect and you are discussing a minor' by saying in one line ' obviously I am not privy to why or how young children are in there'

That was it..........
Solicitor is looking at defamation angle.

OP posts:
Maryz · 16/03/2012 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PattyPenguin · 16/03/2012 14:21

On Bob Stewart's own website www.bobstewartmp.com/newsshow.aspx?id=10&ref=80 he uses language like
"Bob Stewart MP has tabled urgent Parliamentary questions to the Health Secretary Andrew Lansley over the recent escape by four dangerous men from a secure unit at Bethlam sic Hospital in Monks Orchard Road, Beckenham.
...
The unit houses people who have been sentenced by the courts, or are awaiting trial on criminal charges.
...
Bob Stewart MP said: "I am deeply concerned by the latest escape of dangerous individuals from Bethlem Hospital. ..."

If he isn't "privy to why or how young children are in there'", he shouldn't put words like the ones I've bolded above on his own website, some of them in a direct quotation. I'd definitely set the lawyers on him if I were in your place, wannabe. I mean, way to add to a poor family's stress, Bob.

WetAugust · 16/03/2012 14:39

Attacking Bob Stewart is not the way to go.

He's actually being helpful by exposing and querying the lax security standards within a unit that holds what he describes as 'dangerous' people. Perhaps that's what the sole purpose of the unit should be. Bob Stewart is only working in his constituent's interests.

It's the fact that Wannabe's son was inappropriately placed there in the first place (as well as the security) that is the issue that needs to be addressed.

wannabestressfree · 16/03/2012 16:44

I know......... I was just annoyed and upset. My son [age 14] is one of those men he was talking about.
I really didn't attack him I merely clarified a few points. I am sure as a seasoned professional he must be used to checking sources etc.
I realise he was protecting his constituents best interests.
I think I might check on here first before I do anything.........[and I don't mean this flippantly].I am WAY over my depth and I don't really know what or if I should be doing anything......

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 16/03/2012 16:52

He updated his website today with another statement about the Bill Yule.....
titled 'meeting over Bethlem Hospital escapes'
Turns out he had a meeting with bosses today.

OP posts:
seaofyou · 16/03/2012 16:59

I would consult your solicitor too esp as going down legal route wannabe.

It was overwelming for you:( A total Shock

I think it is positive what was published towards towards fighting this does never happen again to your ds again.

Has anything else happened today in moving forward?

WetAugust · 16/03/2012 17:05

I Looked up the Admissions criteria for this unit:

*The Department of Health funds this service for people who meet the following criteria:

Up to 18 years at point of admission
Detained under either Part II or Part III of The Mental Health Act (1983), excluding the categories of mental impairment and severe mental impairment only
Direct violence to others, including homicide
Seriously sexually aggressive behaviour
Destructive and life-threatening use of fire

The referrer can provide evidence that serious consideration and testing of alternatives where appropriate, has occurred prior to referral. This shows that the young person has exceeded the ability of all available mental health services to meet their needs. Local funding for treatment is not required.

Exclusion
Young people who require a high security hospital setting*

I think the clue as to why he was sent there is the fact that it's centrally funded by the Dept of Health, rather than by your LA.

I simply cannot believe that your DS had exceeded the ability of all mental health services to meet his need - which is a prerequisite for referral.

It also states that young people who require a high security hospital setting are not appropriate for referral. I would have though that a H S hospital setting was exactly what you DS did need.

So, was this a case of the LA saving money? A solicitor could have a field day with this one.

Maryz · 16/03/2012 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

izzyizin · 16/03/2012 18:43

WetAugust is absolutely on the money here as taking issue with Bob Stewart is very definitely not the way to go.

For the record, your ds's name was not mentioned nor was his age or any other identitfying information shown on Bob Stewart's website or, as far as I can ascertain, in those local papers that published an account of the incident,

Under the circumstances, it would seem that only those family/friends who knew that your ds was in this particular unit would make a connection with published accounts of the incident in the, most probably unlikely, event that they happened upon them.

Even if that were to be the case, in the absence of identifying information it's also unlikely that they would necessarily assume that your ds was one of those who absconded from the unit and I therefore very much doubt that you or your ds can have a claim in law for defamation/libel.

Clearly, Bob Stewart is not one of the 'bad guys'. In fact, you have cause to be extremely thankful that the account of the incident he placed on his website has provided you with further ammunition information in support of your contention that your ds should not have been placed in a forensic unit.

You also have cause to be thankful to this MP for having got off his arse tabled questions in the House within such a short time of the incident.

Had he not done so, I very much doubt that the 'external inquiry' referred to in the local press report I have reproduced above would have been commissioned. If he hadn't been on the ball, it's possible that the incident would have escaped Ministerial attention and it may be that wider scrutiny will occur when Bob Stewart's questions are answered.

In short, the Bethlem are now required to publicly account for their failure to protect adolescent patients who are diagnosed as being a danger to themselves as well as to others, and this can only serve to strengthen your/your ds's case against them.

The Bethlem's sloppy deficient practices appear to have extended to the dis information given Bob Stewart who has, no doubt, acted purely on basis of what he was told when he queried the incident.

This begs the question of what hope do you, as the nearest relative of your ds, have of obtaining a truthful account from the Bethlem if a Right Honourable Member of Parliament is told a pack of lies given misleading information by them?

Please don't allow the emotions that have inevitably been stirred by the thought of your ds being placed with dangerous offenders or that you have, virtually accidentally or incidentally, discovered second - or in this case probably eight or ninth - hand information that should have been made available to you at the time of the incident, to lure you into expending valuable energy on a knee-jerk reaction because that plays right into the hands of institutions such as the Bethlem is unlikely to achieve the outcome you want.

First and foremost, your task now is to ensure that your dc is not placed in another forensic adolescent unit and that all authorities/agencies involved in his care do not continue to exclude you from their decision making.

I know this is easier said that done, but please try to resign yourself to the fact that holding the Bethlem to account, together with any other authorities/agencies that were party to placing your ds in the Bill Yule, is not something that will be accomplished in a matter of days, or weeks for that matter.

izzyizin · 16/03/2012 18:56

'Four teenage males escaped by climbing through a window on February 26th at the Bill Yule secure adolescent facility on the hospital site'.

It's no laughing matter but the above account does have a certain amusement value... what was on the windows of this secure facility? Net curtains?

izzyizin · 16/03/2012 20:57

It may be some conslation to you to know that, in making contact with Bob Stewart, you have fired a very effective shot across the Bethlem's bows.

IME politicians do not take kindly to being made fools of misled by officials and I would very much liked to have been a fly on the wall when Mr Stewart met with the Bethlem's 'bosses' today.

One thing we can be sure of is that the 'bosses' weren't expecting to have to account for themselves quite so early in the proceedings... and without prior warning.

cornsilksity · 17/03/2012 15:37

I am in awe of the posters that are helping wannabe on here

CakeMixture · 17/03/2012 16:43

wannabe - am crying reading your thread :(
I have nothing useful to add except that your son is lucky to have a fab mum who is doing her best to help him.
My ds has aspergers. It's heartbreaking that your ds is being treated as he is :(
I agree that what might really help is a "mental health advocate" to speak up for your son and his needs.
{{{un mnetty hug}}}

cornsilksity · 17/03/2012 17:38

How is ds doing wannabe? I agree you are an amazing mum.

wannabestressfree · 17/03/2012 18:41

He has not had a good few days, he is very unsettled and agitated. I have had trouble reaching him on the phone and I complained to the social worker.

Am counting the days until i see him. Sent him a cheer up mum loves you parcel with some magazines, the worlds largest gob stopper and some other bits in it.

He has his own solicitor - that he found himself - and is 'looked after' in that sense. He is well read up on his rights :}

OP posts:
izzyizin · 17/03/2012 18:57

With no apology for being unable to make a neat little link, this may explain why your ds was handcuffed for his journey to Birmingham: www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=bromley%20public%20protection%20scrutiny&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CCcQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcds.bromley.gov.uk%2FmgConvert2PDF.aspx%3FID%3D13557&ei=rdpkT-HHEcvB8QPn2JD0DQ&usg=AFQjCNE8rOmQz3E01ECpHroa8QyKZxfnGg&cad=rja

All four youths have offending histories but, in fact, your ds has no history of offending.

As is so often the case in these matters, every discovery raises blood pressure more questions.

It would seem that record-keeping at the Bethlem is as lax as its security.

wannabestressfree · 17/03/2012 19:05

That is............. an absolute load of bollocks.
My son has never been found guilty of any offence.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread