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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

General internet dating support and chit chat thread

988 replies

lubeybooby · 19/09/2011 22:15

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

OP posts:
stayforthekids1 · 27/09/2011 22:29

squeeeeeee he is coming back up again in a fortnight! GrinGrinGrin

LittleHousebytheRiver · 27/09/2011 22:37

Hi Abs

I am 103 too and old enough to be your (grand)mother. I am certainly not a laydee and object to the term.

You are most welcome to post as you wish but if you exhibit twattish behaviour expect to get some feedback.

I was pleased that Mme Defarge spoke out, and think you have been somewhat impolite to her. And I expect she doesn't much like your ironic "Cheers love xx" either.

I enjoy POF the freaks make me laugh!

lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 22:39

I have no issue with being referred to as a lady/ladies

I think the 'cheers love' on the end of your post there was bloody cheeky though abs and not necessary.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 22:40

stay :o

OP posts:
AbsOfSteel · 27/09/2011 22:47

I think most of the women here realise that I was not using that term to be an arse.

Had Mme Defarge asked me to desist politely, rather than wading in and telling me to stop doing something in quite a patronising manner, I would've being a lot more responsive. Your post for instance is much softer :) As it was, I met her tone with a similar one. If you can't see that as fair enough then we are at an impasse.

I'll take your comments on board though, thanks for the input.

And yes, sorry, the cheers love was unnecessary.

Can I ask what's the deal with this 103 thing? You are surely not 103?!?

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/09/2011 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MadameDefarge · 27/09/2011 22:54

have a great time girls.

LittleHousebytheRiver · 27/09/2011 23:01

"Women of a certain age" are not always keen to reveal the truth! So if I am not 23 or 33 I might as well be 103 n'est-ce pas?

When I was out in town today I was standing staring at a building and a really elderly woman bumped into me. I said sorry (?) and she let loose a stream of insults. I was quite shocked that quite a minor incident unleashed so much aggression. It upset me for an hour!

Not really relevant but maybe as one gets older one tolerates less nonsense!

PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 23:36

zany... we guys love it when women take the lead... well thus guy does anyway.

lubey... re shy guy... this might sound harsh (on him) but do you want to be his gf or his social worker?

Re the lady thing... I went to a fairly conservative independent school last century and referring to an adult female as a "lady" was verboten. Females were to be referred to as either girls if they were young or women if they were adults. Always reminds me of Eliza Doolittle's "I want to be a lardy in a flar shop" :)

watchoutforthatsnail · 27/09/2011 23:44

Wow, this has been more exciting than my evening..

Abs, am 32.

Stay, yay@!!

Shiney . Yes, yes you are!!! LOL ( not really of course)

Date was a fucking disaster. He barely spoke two words to me all evening, and sat facing the tv the whole time, didn't engage at all. No eye contact. No flirting..worse still, 3/4 lenght jeans and trainers.

Zero personality, no charasma, nothing.
I can't work with that, as much as I'd of liked my friend to be right. I'd rather be on my own than be with someone so grey.

:(

lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 23:45

Not harsh Poppa. others have said similar when i talked about him earlier in the thread. I think I'm gonna leave it with him. The conversations are always too much hard work... he just seems to steer them into things that are difficult for me to answer. If conversation flowed more freely I'd be more willing to give it a go, but it's not so I won't.

OP posts:
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 23:47

Watch, oh dear! How awful. NEXT!

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RumourOfAHurricane · 28/09/2011 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stayforthekids1 · 28/09/2011 00:41

Aww watch sounds horrible Sad we definitely need to do some screening.

Lubey, yup I would avoid shy guy myself, too much like hard work.

have got into bed but far too excited to sleep Angry ah well Grin

icemaidensu · 28/09/2011 01:00

Right...im a lurker...but i cant anymore.... This thread has got me so hooked that i have to come out!!! So, introduce myself now.... Feel like i know so many people on here...(lurker for about 8months...everywhere!!! ) i Will tell you my story eventually...am shy!.... Its a good un....but dosnt involve internet dating..(yet...,!)
but it might,...!

PoppaRob · 28/09/2011 04:44

Hi icemaiden. It's a nice little corner of MN. I can't believe it's grown to 716 posts in just 9 days!

And totally off topic... does anyone know when the next season of Being Human starts?

watchoutforthatsnail · 28/09/2011 07:33

Shine - how can we possibly filter that out? I had no idea it was goiing to be like that, and im usually quite good.

Texts had been fine, had chatted on im and it had mostly flowed. In hindsite maybe he didnt have a lot to say for himself, or ask many questions about me... but he was keen.

I can only put it down to two things

  1. he thought i was hideous
  2. he was really nervous

at one point i even said ' wow, you are totalyl transfixed by the tv arent you' and he said ' yeah, gotta love a big tv' and then went back to gormlessly staring at it.

You know when you are trying to get somone into a conversation and they are just having noone of it, and it gets to the point where you are just sick of having a one sided conversation, well, it got to that point about 30 mins in. And then i had to endure a further 2.5 hours of it.

Am quite possibly going to give up dating for a while now, been dating a lot over the summer and im not sure my ego can take it :(

LittleHousebytheRiver · 28/09/2011 08:04

Watch was the TV actually switched on? I have a mental picture of him staring at a blank screen looking... blank!

Your experience reinforces the rule to meet them somewhere you can make a getaway from in 30 minutes if it is a disaster.

The laws of life says if you give up now you will probably meet someone gorgeous next week. Smile

LittleHousebytheRiver · 28/09/2011 08:05

and Welcome to IMsu don't be shy!

lubeybooby · 28/09/2011 08:08

Watch wasn't he someone you know from RL who has been after you a while? Or did I dream that up somehow? lol

Bloody awful anyway no matter where you knew him from. Was it his telly or one in a pub or something? Not that it matters, he was a bloody rude knobber wherever you were. Only thing I would say though is if it was his place don't ever accept a date at someones house again. That's laziness right there straight away. Not til past the second or thirdish date anyway and only if they want to make an effort and cook for you.

Hi icemaiden yes, tell us, tell us!

OP posts:
PoppaRob · 28/09/2011 08:12

watch... he's a tool. Any guy with a pulse would be far more interested in looking at you than a TV!

PoppaRob · 28/09/2011 08:15

Having seen pics of most of the regulars on this thread I have to say that any guys who aren't smitten by any of them are being fools to themselves and burdens to others. There are some seriously good looking women in here who appear to not only have a brain but also a personality! What is it with these Pommy blokes? Lift your games lads! :)

lubeybooby · 28/09/2011 08:37

You tell em Poppa, someones got to! :o It's pretty dire over here. There are gooduns out there but they hide very well. Very very well.

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lubeybooby · 28/09/2011 08:41

Oh... and Mr Friday, also known as Mr "I'll hitch and bring sandwiches" Didn't contact me at all yesterday... so I'm taking this to mean he hasn't managed to find his wallet and doesn't fancy hitching and bringing sarnies after all. And still won't let me pay either. So er... think that one bites the dust. Unless he gets in contact soon with an update on the situation and some enthusiasm. Hmm

OP posts:
watchoutforthatsnail · 28/09/2011 09:37

thanks.
Yeah, it was at mine. Babysitters are hard to get, and following one too many being let down at the last momment embarassments, or worse, going out and then returning half an hour later... ive vowed not to ask for a babysitter unless its a few dates in.
Which basically leaves my dating to every other weekend. Seeing as ive sort of known him ( from another dating site two years ago) then i though it was ok, and he was pushing to see me sooner. Tv was at mine. He said he would bring a film, turned up with human centipede, after i had said no torture porn/slasher/scary things. Ended up watching one of mine i already had.

he literally came in, sat down on the sofa and didnt move all evening. Sat facing forward, no leaning to talk to me, nothing.

i dont get it.

Though actually, i should have listened to my instincts, i knew we would have nothing in common, hence saying no for two years, this is my damn friends fault.
yes, my taste in men might have led to me still being single, but least ive had fun in the meantime. Id rather rather handle an ego like mr ' that was the fuck of your life, wasnt it' ( because, its a little amusing) than mr ' gotta love a big telly' and 'im grown up, i registered with a nectar card today' sigh

lubey - sod him. Ive had far too many dates that have been planned then the man has just disappeared.

in the interests in anyone being able to see where im going wrong, here is a qucik run down of my dating history since the summer.

Mr blonde - finally gave into a date after much the same situation as last nights guy, though i should give him a chance, went round his, we made plans for the next day to go out, we had wine, eneded up in bed. next day heard nothing. Que a confession a few days later that he was in love with someone and it wsant going to go anywhere. Ended up casually fucking for about 2 months, when drink was involved. He was blonde, i never fancy blonde men. and he was an idiot. ( though a well paid posh idiot )

While i was casually fucking i had another date with tattoo guy. Who was very very very attractive. Again, another one who had been after a date for awhile. We went out and had the most excellent night, jagermeister shots drunk from the bar, i ended up djing in the pub, havent been so drunk since i was about 20. He asked if he could come back to mine as he wanted to spend more time with me. I had intended on not sleeping with him, so had gone out with unshaved legs by way of guarantee. Que me at home, drunkly shaving my legs at 4am. Got back into the bedroom and he had fallen asleep. Text two days later than he had just split up with his girlfriend and wasnt ready for anything but not to take it personally.

Two coffee dates, both with the most boring men on earth, couldnt get out of their quick enough.

date with this other guy ( mr 3 weeks ago) really nice date, ended up in bed ( rum was involved) lots of contact since, and despite saying he wants to see me again, has actualyl failed to organise anything.

Coffee date, again, frickin awful

Date with mr friday. yeah, you know all about that.

date with the policeman - dire.

In between this you need to remember the dates ive cancelled, like mr wilderness, because ive decided i didnt want to go for some reason or another, or the other dates when ive been stood up, or they have just vanished into thin air a day before the actual date.

if anyone wants to look at my profile - let me know and ill pm you. Though, to be fair, i think on the whole it doesnt matter what they say, most men dont seem to read them.