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Original poster

General internet dating support and chit chat thread

988 replies

lubeybooby · 19/09/2011 22:15

Relationships seems the most appropriate place for this I think? Happy to ask for it to be moved if it's maybe better in _chat or something.

Anyway!

Chit chat your dating/internet dating claptrap here!

Also your hints and tips please for dating in the shark pit on the internet

I'll start.

I'm 31, single and rather fed up of it now. Have a few internet dating profiles, am trying to improve my social life and get out more, even looking out for possible additional temp jobs just to be.... 'out there' a bit more.

Even had a go at cosmic ordering which has been cropping up in dating related threads recently. Now I'm a very scientific and cynical kind of person but when it comes to my (currently appalling) love life I will try anything to give it a bit of a boost. Whether that be focusing the mind on the task in hand or strange unknown forces I care not.

OP posts:
Zanywany · 27/09/2011 14:19

Thank you Watch you too

watchoutforthatsnail · 27/09/2011 14:30

rob, i had a nose.
my name is something to do with an itallian sauce.
:)

PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 14:36

watch... puttanesca ? Wink

watchoutforthatsnail · 27/09/2011 14:40

oi!!!!

i know very well what that is thank you very much!!!

lol

AbsOfSteel · 27/09/2011 14:45

I'm guaranteed to give anyone of you the best 7-8 seconds of your life.

My mates can't believe how good my staying power is Wink

PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 14:45

My bestmate is of Italian heritage and explained that it was the best sauce 'cos you can eat it piping hot or freezing cold, depending on other distractions.

watchoutforthatsnail · 27/09/2011 14:50

lol. best 7 or 8 seconds.
:)

mr friday's ego was so huge that after the first go, he was like ' you do realise that was well over an hour dont you? and im pretty sure that was the best fuck of your life' i told him it wasnt. I might have been.
Totally undateable. Who has a ego like that? men, who i should stay away from.. thats who!

poppa- so, you can see my profile then?

PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 14:59

watch... haven't looked. which Italian sauce am I looking for? :)

SarahBumBarer · 27/09/2011 15:04

Hi all - just wanted to let you know that I am spying on you all lurking on here and really enjoying reading of your experiences with internet dating. It is hilarious (sorry) although not much has changed since I was on there.

I met my (now) DH on Dating Direct. How we got together I do not know. It had to be fate. He was only looking for younger ladies (he had 32 as his max age and I was 33). I saw his profile a day before he put a picture on it (had the picture been there I would never have looked at the profile) and accidentally "winked" at him (not my usual style) and then he sent me one short message and asked if he could call me, surprising me so much that I just said yes and thus he circumvented me realising (and therefore blocking him) how terrible his written English is. From his profile, choices, terrible choice of photo and standard of written English I would have thought he was a bit of an idiot. I would have been so wrong.

I know you can screen a lot of dross out by the words on the screen - just saying that in borderline cases it might be worth a little benefit of the doubt. People who appear fab on screen may not be so in RL but the opposite is true too.

I had about 50 dates off and on over about 2 years (tended to re-join every New Year and Bank Holiday - DH was a New Year resolution). Only had one really awful date with a smelly accountant who took me to the cinema and insisted on putting his arm around me [boak] even though we had barely managed to sustain a conversation for the duration of the pre-film drink.

Shiney - am nosey. Any signs of improvement from 3 date man after what you told him yesterday? I confess I had high hopes for him improving if you just told him that he was playing it a bit too cool for you.

I also wanted to ask about the guy with social anxiety but can't remember who it was. Grrr

Ignore my questions if you think I am being too nosy not being a internet dater myself at present.

AbsOfSteel · 27/09/2011 15:05

Haha that's ace. You have to laugh. How old is he?

Original poster
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 15:17

Watch, ewww at an ego like that! Oh dear oh dear!

Really do need to be better for Thurs. I have that date rearranged for Thurs, Then on Friday another date (the one that I would still be saying Squeeeeeeee and panicking about if I wasn't too ill to care) Then on Saturday I have a night away in a hotel with my best gay friend and a few other friends and we are off to a gay club. I haven't had so much planned in... um... ever so these germs had better feck off and quick.

OP posts:
stayforthekids1 · 27/09/2011 15:17

Argh I need a holiday, two boys aged nearly three and 18 months is a total nightmare! Remind me not to let the fear dathûil meet my kids for a few years!! My elder boy just handed me the door knob off the kitchen cupboard Grin

Rob you seem very down to earth Smile quite expressive...do you like writing at all?

Original poster
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 15:19

Oh Sarahbumbarer that was me with the social anxiety guy. I'm still chatting to him on and off but it's gone a bit stilted and awkward, though I'm doing my best to try and keep it ticking along because I do fancy 1) him and 2) his idea of a date

OP posts:
PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 15:22

stay... I do like writing but I don't do any.

watch... sauce?

stayforthekids1 · 27/09/2011 15:28

Maybe you should! I love writing. Just gruesome short stories Grin

AbsOfSteel · 27/09/2011 15:33

Do you like short horror? I have a great site for that...

SarahBumBarer · 27/09/2011 15:38

Oh - thanks Lubey that's a shame. Yes - the country walk? It does sound a lovely first date. Anyone been ice-skating yet? Only ever done that in early days of dating situations!

I was interested because I have some mild aspects of social anxiety. Crap and tongue-tied in certain social situations (aren't lots of people) but I particularly struggle to cope with being a plus-1 at a social event, telephone calls (I have a little ritual which helps me) and the main problem in dating situations is pubs, restaurants and hotels. I cannot cannot walk in to one first. So long as I date a bad mannered guy who does not hold the door open for me Grin I am fine. On the other hand I need a good mannered guy who can deal with completely taking charge of ordering drinks, giving our name/requirements to the Maitre d etc. Eventually I calm down enough to look around and realise that no-one (imagine this!) is taking any notice of me whatsoever and I can relax. It would be much harder as a guy though and as I say with me it is really very mild (and I'm determined to get better again before DS notices it).

Hope it works out and you get your country walk.

HairyGrotter · 27/09/2011 16:34

Eeeep I have a date Friday night, yay! Not sure where yet!

watchoutforthatsnail · 27/09/2011 16:48

lubey - i know. like i said. undateable. totally.

anyways. feeling a bit more excited about this evening now. Texting all day. and er, he sent me a pic, post washing his car ( day off) all hot and sweaty ( AND stubbley) this works for me. horray!!! i said not to shave!!

hairy - woooohoooooooo!!

ladies, i must say, we are on FIRE with the dating right now :)

Original poster
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 16:52

Sarah, yeah that's the one.. the country walk. I have a feeling it isn't going to happen for some reason, but the conversation has kicked off again at least (just now!) so I've asked him a bit more about the anxiety thing. That's really interesting to know what it's like for you. I have a more general, low level anxiety which is just basically feeling anxious a lot and intrusive thoughts keep creeping in.

OP posts:
Original poster
lubeybooby · 27/09/2011 16:53

Yay Hairy :o who with? whooooooo?

watch - excellent I'm glad you feel better about it!

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 27/09/2011 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MadameDefarge · 27/09/2011 17:30

So far today I have been

  1. Invited out for coffee
  2. Invited out generally
  3. Asked if I wanted a slave to do all my housework and run all my errands.

Seriously tempted by the last one.

PoppaRob · 27/09/2011 17:56

If you take up option 3 that'd give you time for options 1 and 2.
Could be a tick in every box!

HairyGrotter · 27/09/2011 18:15

I got a slave one too, was it from a man called Michael?! LOL

Well, I have been IM'ing Mr Friday Man since 11am yesterday, we carried on till 2am...then spent some time today IM'ing. He's funny, good looking and has a job, win win!