I got talking to a guy who seemed really lovely. We hit it off, had lots in common and enjoyed each other's company. He then told me he'd had a weight reduction operation and had lost so much weight that he had tons of "skin", especially on the stomach area. I am NOT a shallow person and don't judge anyone by looks. I don't go for the Brad Pitt types anyway and have never been put off anyone because of appearances and so I told him it didn't bother me at all (I meant it at the time). We hadn't been intimate by this point.
So a few weeks ago I stayed over at his place for the first time. First thing I noticed was that he was constantly eating. Backwards and forwards to the cupboards saying he was getting a drink but would come back with biscuit smelling breath. This makes me worry he isn't over his appetite problems?
Anyway later on, we were kissing, it got a little heavier and we went upstairs and I just wasn't prepared for it at all, when he took off his shirt his "Boobs" were dangling onto me and when he was on top of me I couldn't actually see anything "down there" because his stomach was hanging down and flopping all over me. I know this sounds incredibly bitchy and I don't mean it to be, I'm just trying to recreate what I saw. I was put off. Not just by this but he was so clumsy in bed too, trying to force a condom on when he wasn't fully erect, playing with himself to try and get it up and then trying to strike up conversation about the condoms etc, it was just all so offputting and anything but romantic. I made excuses and we stopped. I felt awful and went to sleep feeling rather guilty. I DO like him but the whole episode made me realise I don't fancy him. Or if I did, I no longer do. Anyway next morning I woke up telling myself I was a complete cow and one of those shallow people I'm always complaining about.
So I tried to mentally prepare myself for the next time but I just can't look past it. Last weekend he was getting dressed in front of me and stuffed his belly into a pair of underpants so you could see through the LEG hole rolls of belly all squashed up inside. I suggested he doesn't put his belly inside the pants as it looks rather odd and he said he felt more comfortable that way.
I just can't get past it. I have tried. Does this mean I AM shallow? because I feel it. I feel ashamed of myself but is it justified? at all?? Could you look past it if he was otherwise a lovely man?