So my DP has just been arrested....

[foreveryours]

For assaulting me..... What do I do now?

We've chatted about what's happened and I've told him I'm entirely to blame. He's said let's just forget it and get back to being happy. So we will even though still feel like I'm blamed for it all I have more important things happening I'm my life to let a drunken fall out get to me. Yes o know dp ended up getting arrested, that was not my intention, but like he said it's happened now, he's not going to lose his job, he still loves me and wants to be with me. So we'll work hard at our relationship and vowed not to get drunk around one another again....

Edd, She was in her own bedroom in her own house,which she owns. It is not his house. He does not live there. Does she not even have a right to the private enjoyment of her own property if a man wants to remain there even if he knows he is not welcome?

LOL at the idea of a policeman feeling a bit threatened by a woman weighing 7 stone. Poor diddums. No wonder the rioters got away with so much.

Lots of inference and reading between the lines. I don't think anyone has suggested that a man should not be shown up in front of his colleagues.

Sorry that first sentance was supposed to say 'I'm NOT entirely to blame'

Foreveryours, you have done the exact wrong thing. I hope you will go to Women's Aid or find some other counselling for yourself to try to get to the bottom of your abject response to this incident.

"Yes o know dp ended up getting arrested, that was not my intention, "

What was your intention when you phoned the police?

He must be feeling like crap though and highly degraded for being arrested. I'm sure he certainly wont be doing it again

Ahhhhh that's different!!!!!!!

(Carpwidow, yes that is exactly what you did)

I still think that 'not entirely' to blame is weasely and not a good foundation for the future. My advice about WA or other counselling still stands.

He wasn't arrested by his 'tea as I live in a different area to where he's based, but his sargent has been informed and will be speaking to him when he goes back to work in the morning. I didn't call the police just because he's a policeman, I'm not a cold hearted bitch like some.

Carpwidow, most women who phone the police in a dv situation just want the situation to be stopped.

I called because I was honestly shocked having just landed by the phone on the floor. I thought maybe the police would come 'calm' things down not arrest him. I didn't ask them to, I never said I wanted to press charges. They did as he was really drunk and I had scratches to my chest and a carpet burn to my back.

All that I was suggesting (and it is difficult to guage the meaning of the written word rather than the spoken) is that did the OP think that because they were colleagues they would come and speak to him and not arrest him. Therefore, if he was not a policemen, would she have still phoned the police knowing that he may be arrested. I am not making myself clear, but I am on OPs side here.

and, hindsight being a great thing, would it not have been better if he had gone straight home and not to yours in the state that he was in?

...and if you have scratches and carpet burns, WHY are you not pressing charges?

He wasn't arrested by anyone he knows or works with, they didn't know he was a policeman until they 'called' his name through

I would just be so worried that it is going to happen again.

I honestly don't want to press charges, but will if it happens again which I don't believe it will

the extra information you give makes me think this is not a healthy relationship for you. You are very lucky that he doesn't live with you it will make it easier to split up. This is what I think you shoud do but you seem to want to stay with him so not sure why you are asking for advice you have no plan on taking.

What does he want?

actually, I wonder if this is bollox. I hope so because I don't like the idea of people beating eachother up but on the other hand I sincerely hope this isn't bollox because Domestic violence is a really serious issue.

I'm out.

He wants to work things out, he loves me dearly and I love him too. I know nothing like this would happen again, well I'm hoping, if it does I'll be gone...

Yes duelingfanjo I made the whole story up....

And DuelingFanjo has a good point - you got on MN pretty quickly after the assault, but don't seem to want to act on any of the advice you sought. Were you still drunk when you posted your OP?

(Fair enough, Carpwidow)

Forever, You don't want to believe it will happen again. You already have one abusive relationship under your belt so you are actually experiencing that dynamic again. You need to find out why you are willing yourself to believe it won't all go tits up 'again' when it actually has.

I apologise then.

He sounds like a twat going by the fact that he was emailing someone else and flirting with them and now he's hurting you physically and turning his whole family and the police against you. How many times will you say 'if he does it again'

Again I say - it's good you don't live with him, I hope you get the help you seek, I hope the police follow this up because don't they now not have to rely on the victim pressing charges anymore?

Actually it was about 2hours after, I couldn't sleep so I posted on here...I only came back on this morning over 24hours after having potentially sorted things out with DP but upset that he was blaming everything on me and to give the details of what happened. I've listened to advice but having already told the police when they first came that I didn't want to press charges. We will work at our relationship we still have things to talk through but have decided to do that once everything is settled and there isn't this atmosphere between us